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Just found out he is cheating


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I have been seeing this guy for about month and a half. We were exclusive from date 4.

 

Lately he has been pulling away a bit but I wasn't sure if it's just my imagination.

 

He has this "nearby friends" thing turned on on Facebook (he doesn't know that I check it). He tends to be home every night. Tonight it showed that he is quite far from his home, in an area that's known for nice cafes and restoraunts. Sort of place you would go on a date.

 

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I texted him that I hope he is having a relaxing night. He responded that he is on the couch at home watching a movie and thinking about me. He is clearly lying as location shows he is far from home. If he was out with friends, he would tell me. It's now quite late at night and he is still there, probably sleeping over. Location updates every 30 minutes.

 

How should I dump him? I am thinking of just not saying a thing and blocking him but I almost want to say something first. Maybe just "Liar ;)" and then block.

 

Ideas?

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I believe in taking the high road. I'd call him & break up. You don't have to give a reason but you can.

 

Texting or worse, ghosting, puts you on his plain.

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I think you need to investigate a little more before making a decision to break up. I hate to encourage dishonesty, but maybe tell him a friend spotted him out on the night he claimed to be at home, and ask him what he was doing. You should be able to gauge his trustworthiness by his response.

 

Please keep us posted as to what happens next!

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Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I texted him that I hope he is having a relaxing night. He responded that he is on the couch at home watching a movie and thinking about me.

 

 

You should have responded "good, I'm on my way over. Bye":lmao::rolleyes:

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I think you need to investigate a little more before making a decision to break up. I hate to encourage dishonesty, but maybe tell him a friend spotted him out on the night he claimed to be at home, and ask him what he was doing. You should be able to gauge his trustworthiness by his response.

 

Why bother? They have only been together for 1.5 months . . . 6 weeks. Yet she has so little trust she needs to electronically monitor his whereabouts. Yikes. How do you actually build a relationship with that level of suspicion from the beginning? Personally on his end, if I found out my new SO was even looking at stuff like that I'd be outta there in a heart beat. Then again he did lie to her about being home when at least his phone was somewhere else all night. It's possible he gave it to somebody else but improbable. There is just nothing worth saving here IMO

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I texted: liar.

He said: what do you mean?

I said: my friend saw you out with a girl and you said you were home all night..so yeah.

Him: I only went out to get some food, was no girls involved. Your friend is mistaken.

 

Meanwhile location shows that he actually drove home since my "liar" text. He was at the other location for over 4 hours. That's not how long it takes to get food.

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You need to dump him because at 6 weeks in, you're snooping on his facebook and tracking him.

 

I dare say that for him, things started to not be what he thought they would be with you and he was creating distance to wean himself off of this. Should he have told you? Yes, but he probably wanted avoid watching you grovel for the relationship.

 

Anyway, he said: "I am not going to be questioned like this" and just blocked me on everything.
I don't blame him. This is all too much for just 6 weeks.
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I have been seeing this guy for about month and a half. We were exclusive from date 4.

 

Lately he has been pulling away a bit but I wasn't sure if it's just my imagination.

 

He has this "nearby friends" thing turned on on Facebook (he doesn't know that I check it). He tends to be home every night. Tonight it showed that he is quite far from his home, in an area that's known for nice cafes and restoraunts. Sort of place you would go on a date.

 

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I texted him that I hope he is having a relaxing night. He responded that he is on the couch at home watching a movie and thinking about me. He is clearly lying as location shows he is far from home. If he was out with friends, he would tell me. It's now quite late at night and he is still there, probably sleeping over. Location updates every 30 minutes.

 

How should I dump him? I am thinking of just not saying a thing and blocking him but I almost want to say something first. Maybe just "Liar ;)" and then block.

 

Ideas?

 

Wow, had no idea there was such a feature on FB. How much more intruded upon do people want their lives to be?! It seems to be a dangerous and voyeuristic feature.

 

Anyway, you had a dud here. He seems to be playing you, so move on.

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I texted: liar.

He said: what do you mean?

I said: my friend saw you out with a girl and you said you were home all night..so yeah.

Him: I only went out to get some food, was no girls involved. Your friend is mistaken.

 

Meanwhile location shows that he actually drove home since my "liar" text. He was at the other location for over 4 hours. That's not how long it takes to get food.

 

I cringe as I read this. You haven't been knowing him long enough to track his where-a-bouts. He probably thinks you're a bunny boiler at this point.

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I feel kinda bad for the OP. She said lately she has felt like he is pulling away. So she checked his Facebook status thing (also something I didn't know existed) and it showed it wasn't where he said he was. How is she the one in the wrong?

 

 

This exact situation just happened to me. Dating a guy for 2 months, one of which was exclusive. During the course of a week I found him to be distant and not acting like he once was. I asked him about it and he said everything was fine. A few days later my friend saw him active on Match.com, to which he said he didn't realize he never deleted his profile and JUST THAT DAY a female friend told him she saw him on there, so he went on to try to delete it, but couldn't from his phone, had to use a computer. The whole thing seemed fishy to me. SO THEN YES, I had my friend check his Match.com profile for the next three days (he was out of town so I didn't want to confront him while he was spending time with family) and she saw him active 2-3 times per day for those days. When I confronted him he too got upset, said I had too much time on my hands and was immature that I was spying on him, then we broke up.

 

 

I guess I'm just tired of the manipulation of these situations. It was only six weeks but they agreed to date exclusively. If he didn't want to only see her he should have told her instead of becoming distant and making her more apt to check where he was.

 

 

Now not only did he twist things on her and make her feel like she did something wrong by blocking her, but people on here are saying shes the problem for checking to begin with. Hes the one who lied.

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Looks like he beat you to the punch

But it’s for the better since you textchim and he did lie and say he was at home when he wants.. oh well another crime solved thanks to facespace

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OP had a witness....she investigated further...busted. Jerk got called out, tried to gaslight the OP. Who care about everything else.....the guy was cheating and couldn't even lie his way out of it...loser.

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Why bother? They have only been together for 1.5 months . . . 6 weeks. Yet she has so little trust she needs to electronically monitor his whereabouts. Yikes. How do you actually build a relationship with that level of suspicion from the beginning? Personally on his end, if I found out my new SO was even looking at stuff like that I'd be outta there in a heart beat. Then again he did lie to her about being home when at least his phone was somewhere else all night. It's possible he gave it to somebody else but improbable. There is just nothing worth saving here IMO

 

You know, I used to feel this exact same way. I've been all about trust going into a relationship, never questioning anything unless/until something aroused my suspicions. This turned out very poorly for me in my last relationship, and I'm WAY less trusting now.

 

She indicated he started acting differently which raised her suspicions, so she checked Facecrook and something was indeed off, proving he's a liar at best.

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How should I dump him? I am thinking of just not saying a thing and blocking him but I almost want to say something first. Maybe just "Liar ;)" and then block.

 

Ideas?

 

By complete radio silence.

 

Sending him a message will show him that he is still in your head, so that in and of itself will boost his ego.

 

If you just block him on all forms of contact he will be left wondering what the hell happened? And the best way to leave these types in a total state of upheaval is to show complete indifference by making them insignificant.

 

Any contract at this point will be an indicator that you actually care about him now. Do not give him that much credit. We men have very fragile egos Nothing gets our goat like being ignored

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My only regret is not just blocking him.

 

I don't see what I did wrong. I felt something was off and used publicly available feature to check. All I did was save myself possibly being played for months. Not to mention that he was pushing for unprotected sex because we were "exclusive" so I may have saved myself even more than emotional pain.

 

I am still going to do a full STD check.

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You didn't do anything wrong. All I was pointing out was that you had so little trust. Turns out you had reason to be suspicious so you now know you can trust your own gut.

 

He's gone. It was quick & relatively painless. Hopefully you will have a clean bill of health.

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I have been seeing this guy for about month and a half. We were exclusive from date 4.

 

Lately he has been pulling away a bit but I wasn't sure if it's just my imagination.

 

He has this "nearby friends" thing turned on on Facebook (he doesn't know that I check it). He tends to be home every night. Tonight it showed that he is quite far from his home, in an area that's known for nice cafes and restoraunts. Sort of place you would go on a date.

 

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I texted him that I hope he is having a relaxing night. He responded that he is on the couch at home watching a movie and thinking about me. He is clearly lying as location shows he is far from home. If he was out with friends, he would tell me. It's now quite late at night and he is still there, probably sleeping over. Location updates every 30 minutes.

 

How should I dump him? I am thinking of just not saying a thing and blocking him but I almost want to say something first. Maybe just "Liar ;)" and then block.

 

Ideas?

 

 

Take it from a dude view

 

Are you satisfying his sex needs?

Basically if you are banging his brains out ( as you should be so early on in the relationship) dude would be too exhausted to holla at other girls

 

If you are getting it on enough and he is just a player type. Well then you just chose poorly

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Take it from a dude view

 

Are you satisfying his sex needs?

Basically if you are banging his brains out ( as you should be so early on in the relationship) dude would be too exhausted to holla at other girls

 

If you are getting it on enough and he is just a player type. Well then you just chose poorly

 

The day before, we were together and banged 4 times. He said that "it blew his mind". So it's not the lack of sex. He was emotionally distant though. Checking his phone a lot, making only small talk, seemed distracted. Women are very intuitive and pick up on those signs.

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The day before, we were together and banged 4 times. He said that "it blew his mind". So it's not the lack of sex. He was emotionally distant though. Checking his phone a lot, making only small talk, seemed distracted. Women are very intuitive and pick up on those signs.

 

well you just chose poorly. issh happens. A lot.

 

you need to heal from this worst thing you can do is have bad baggage and accuse every new dude that they are cheaters

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The day before, we were together and banged 4 times. He said that "it blew his mind". So it's not the lack of sex. He was emotionally distant though. Checking his phone a lot, making only small talk, seemed distracted. Women are very intuitive and pick up on those signs.

 

Don't feel bad. It's the emotional connection that keeps them around.;)

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Take it from a dude view

 

Are you satisfying his sex needs?

Basically if you are banging his brains out ( as you should be so early on in the relationship) dude would be too exhausted to holla at other girls

 

If you are getting it on enough and he is just a player type. Well then you just chose poorly

 

 

 

As a female I'm not saying you are wrong by any means, but Ive actually had a couple of guys tell me waaaaaay after the fact, that they kept me around BECAUSE the sex was good. Emotionally they started not to feel it but sex was still good.

 

 

I think in the OP's case, she was banging his brains out, and he wanted to continue that until he found someone else to date.

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Most guys sex and love are two separate things...they can have great sex without the emotional attachment. Sex is just sex.

 

Women are mistaken thinking it's love/emotion when they are told the sex is mind blowing.

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I feel pretty gutted.

 

He was telling me all along how he is not into hookups. He also told me that after we met through OLD, he canceled all his other dates that he set up before meeting me. He felt it's wrong to even chat to other women on those sites since he felt such a strong connection to me. So he ended all the communication with them and told them that he is now seeing someone. He also told his parents and all his work collegues about me. He really led me to believe that we are now in a relationship.

 

I just wonder if it was all play and lies or if he lost interest somewhere along the very short way (6 weeks).

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