Jump to content

Jealous of friend dating


Recommended Posts

lastonestanding

I recently got out of a relationship (about 2 months ago) and have a huge crush on a really close friend of mine. Problem is, he just started dating someone (of course...). I know I can't really do anything to "fix" that, but I need to figure out how to not go crazy. I am attempting to date, but under it all, I want to be with him. He has expressed interest in dating, but doesn't want to be a rebound. But I drive myself crazy with thoughts of them evolving into a long term thing, falling in love, etc in the meantime. So jealous. I need some perspective!

Link to post
Share on other sites
todreaminblue

i believe in if things were meant to happen they happen and jealousy doesnt help that process.....he may develop a long term bond with someone else.....at spoem point you realise that's the way its meant to be and even though it hurts you wish them well...because you really do want to see that person happy.....thats truly caring for someone...is when you want their happiness...over your own self ....developing this mindset takes time and heartache.....self analysis

 

who knows if you do date others you just may find someone who suits you more than he could.....i wish you well...deb

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
He has expressed interest in dating, but doesn't want to be a rebound.

This is a cop-out. If he really was interested in you he wouldn't even care, he would just take things a little slow.

 

You are not missing out on any opportunity with him.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

There isn't a way to not go crazy.

 

I would step back and ask yourself how much you would want to date him, if he wasn't getting into a relationship. I know it sounds trivial, but often times, when someone we once could have is suddenly unavailable, they become more attractive to us.

 

If he was genuinely interested in dating, he wouldn't have found someone else. I'm not saying he isn't, because he could be. What I'm saying is, his intentions may not be completely genuine if he expressed interest and then suddenly got into another relationship.

 

Just be cautious. Try to let it go. If you two are meant to be, you will be.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
lastonestanding
There isn't a way to not go crazy.

 

I would step back and ask yourself how much you would want to date him, if he wasn't getting into a relationship. I know it sounds trivial, but often times, when someone we once could have is suddenly unavailable, they become more attractive to us.

 

If he was genuinely interested in dating, he wouldn't have found someone else. I'm not saying he isn't, because he could be. What I'm saying is, his intentions may not be completely genuine if he expressed interest and then suddenly got into another relationship.

 

Just be cautious. Try to let it go. If you two are meant to be, you will be.

 

Well the order was a little reversed. He started dating her before we actually had "the talk". It was was spurred me to actually bring it up. He is also friends with my ex, so I do believe his reasons, but I am just still fearful that his current relationship will develop into something in the meantime. Although it already seems a little hot and cold at this point.

 

Your first point is a good one... I do try to step back and think about it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
  • Author
lastonestanding

Well it's been a month, and I still feel like a crazy person. He doesn't seem happy in his relationship, says he just kind of wants to be single. He apparently talks about me more than her (to mutual friends), and things have happened between us that aren't very appropriate considering he's in a relationship.

 

I think he will eventually decide to end it with her, but I'm also in fear that I will have become too crazy by then and will have pushed him away. I'm trying to date, but have been out with so many guys and not been interested in any. I feel so needy and obsessive.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Like I said if he was really interested in you he would be with you. I just think he likes the idea of being desired and not necessarily interested in anything serious. If he's willing to cheat on this girl emotionally or whatever, he's going to do the same with you. He's just playing games..so you better just cut him off for your own good.

 

You being obsessive is clouding your better judgement.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...