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Will I ever be happy with this new situation?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 25th October 2017, 4:00 AM   #1
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Will I ever be happy with this new situation?

Hello everyone !
My BF and I have been happily dating for almost 7 years and we are both 22. For a couple of days, he went through a lot of questionning wondering if we were right for each other and he was thinking about living other experiences because we are each other’s firsts. It was so hard for me to hear about all of this, so I told him to break up if there were doubts. He freaked out and told me he would stop having them.

A week later, he told me that it was very hard for him to go through all this thinking on his own and he would like to hang out with his friends to confine in them. BUT, he needed female friends who are better listener according to him. I am very jealous and anxious about that. He started to text all those girls he used to hang out with before meeting me and asking for some alone time with them for a coffee or something. He says that he stopped seeing them because he knew I would be jealous and he didn’t feel the need to until recently...

The timing is awful for me, thoughts about him questionning our relationship is always in the back of my mind and I am so scared of losing him. So, we wrote down a couple of things that he was willing to do to reassure me like always telling me who, when and where he was meeting them; coming to my place when he is done to wash away my worries; never meeting them at her or his place...

I really don’t know what to think about all of this. Is he seeking experiences? Will I ever be okay with him meeting his female friends occasionnaly?

Thank you and sorry for the long text

Last edited by Problems; 25th October 2017 at 4:03 AM.. Reason: Missing a part
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Old 25th October 2017, 8:06 AM   #2
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Yes typical cheater positioning:

I gave up my girl friends because my girlfriend was jealous.

I need to have one on one time with girl friends to hear a
woman's view point. Bull Manure, he has a woman's view
point already available 24, 7, 365; you.

I can be having friend time without you. More Bull Manure.
Code for him to have dates without calling them what they are
Dates.

I want to be able to move from one relationship directly into
a new one some I am not alone.


How do I know this to be true?

Your BF, Mr BM Head, aka, $h!t head is following the plan right
from the Cheater's Handbook.

Dump him.
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Old 25th October 2017, 11:51 AM   #3
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You two have been together since you were 15. At 22 I can't imagine you are the same people you were when you started. He's now itching to figure out what else life has to offer. The fact that you lasted this long amazes me but if he's looking around, I fear your relationship will dissolve if you don't at least let him have women friends. I'm kind of shocked that some girl he knew when you were 15 even took his call but if after all this time you don't trust him, you have no basis to progress to a more serious lifetime commitment anyway.
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Old 25th October 2017, 12:27 PM   #4
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You guys barely know any other relationship and have been together fit ages.

I think I'd instigate a break from the relarionship. Let him experience what he wants and you do the same.

I'm not really okay with my partner/husband needing one on one time with other women.

Would he be okay with you having one on one time with other guys?
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Old 25th October 2017, 1:20 PM   #5
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Tell him he's more than welcome to see other women when you're with him or have them over to hang out with you present. Tell him if you ever build trust with them, then you may relax more about it. But if he just wants to play the field, which is understandable, frankly, you two should break up. See, here's the thing. If that's what he's really angling for, this is his way to keep YOU from also seeing other guys, by pretending he's only friends with them. So also be clear that whatever he does, you will also do. If he has girlfriends, you can have boyfriends.
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Old 28th October 2017, 12:42 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Problems View Post
Hello everyone !
My BF and I have been happily dating for almost 7 years and we are both 22. For a couple of days, he went through a lot of questionning wondering if we were right for each other and he was thinking about living other experiences because we are each other’s firsts. It was so hard for me to hear about all of this, so I told him to break up if there were doubts. He freaked out and told me he would stop having them.

A week later, he told me that it was very hard for him to go through all this thinking on his own and he would like to hang out with his friends to confine in them. BUT, he needed female friends who are better listener according to him. I am very jealous and anxious about that. He started to text all those girls he used to hang out with before meeting me and asking for some alone time with them for a coffee or something. He says that he stopped seeing them because he knew I would be jealous and he didn’t feel the need to until recently...

The timing is awful for me, thoughts about him questionning our relationship is always in the back of my mind and I am so scared of losing him. So, we wrote down a couple of things that he was willing to do to reassure me like always telling me who, when and where he was meeting them; coming to my place when he is done to wash away my worries; never meeting them at her or his place...

I really don’t know what to think about all of this. Is he seeking experiences? Will I ever be okay with him meeting his female friends occasionnaly?

Thank you and sorry for the long text

So you have been together for Seven years, yet he is seeking counsel of women he knew before you two got together...So that means he has been in enough contact with them over the last 7 years that he has ready access to their numbers for texting and other purposes?

Really now...

Oh and all those pledges he wrote down for you?

Sweetie, please understand that is about as worthless as the paper he wrote that on.

When I got out of prison, if I had written down on paper and signed a pledge that I was going to keep away from those who had a hand in me landing there, my Parole Officer would have rolled his eyes and arrested me on the spot.

Because when I did get out, I went right after them as soon as I could....and guess what? I went right back to prison! Imagine that!

A poor analogy I admit.

I want to point out to you his words mean NOTHING and his actions mean everything.

All he has done is sown the seeds of the relation ships destruction by committing to promises he has no intention of keeping.

Do yourself a favor and move on. Hard as it is after almost 7 years, he is keeping you in Limbo while he test drives other vaginas.

NO guy goes after "the female perspective" on relationships en masse unless he wants to bang as many as he can, or he is gay.

2 Tits a hole and a heartbeat...yeah, I'm just going to bounce a few things off of them and see what answers I get., He wants to bounce his sack off of them, not seek their wise counsel.

Don't fall for this crap. Get rid of him TODAY.

I apologize for being so Crude, however I think unless you have it put to you in such crude terms, you may be inclined to believe his whole stupid story. Based only on the longevity of your relationship. You think you know him inside and out. But you wrote in, and you are coming around to understanding you don't really know him at all.

He takes you for a compete fool,and he wants to get laid by chicks who are not you.

Please do not accept such treatment and know that there are guys out there that will not treat you in such a manner.

Again I apologize for being crude, but I would not be worth my salt dispensing advice if I beat around the bush..which is something he is hoping to do to other women.
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Old 28th October 2017, 5:56 PM   #7
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True story. I know a couple that were BF/GF since they were 12. When they got to about your age, the guy had the same thoughts. They split up, but only briefly. That time apart he realized she was the one he wanted to be with. Today they are married and and raising a child. They couldn't be happier.



We have had a lot of threads like yours where there are people at a crossroads, wondering if they will regret losing the person they love for a different experience or regret missing out on new experiences. It's a tough decision when you know you only have one life to live, and you should make the best of it.

Sometimes it works out sometimes it doesn't. I say cut him loose so he can realize what he truly wants. i think it's only fair, rather than be anxious about it and feel resentment.
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Old 28th October 2017, 6:47 PM   #8
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Yeah, it's that old saying...
If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you then you are meant to be together.

I have friends who have been together since we were your age. Some relationships have stood the test of time. Others have ended, for exactly this reason... Because one partner wanted to have some experiences that they felt they missed when they were younger.

It's very rare for people who get together to stay together for the rest of your lives. It takes two people, committed to growing together as individuals, and as a couple. Your guy is unsure... you want to let him go so that he can be sure.

And finally, I think it's crap that "girls listen better" which is why he's texted all these girls he knew many years ago to reinstate old relationships... I'm not a jealous person but I wouldn't trust that at all.
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Old 29th October 2017, 10:44 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
True story. I know a couple that were BF/GF since they were 12. When they got to about your age, the guy had the same thoughts. They split up, but only briefly. That time apart he realized she was the one he wanted to be with. Today they are married and and raising a child. They couldn't be happier.
I have a friend like this too. They dated from High School into college. Broke up for 1.5 years in college. Then got back together.

Personality type matters in this situation. My friend is SUPER liberal. It would not shock me if they were swingers, or if he enjoyed that cuckold crap.
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Old 29th October 2017, 11:47 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Cobra_X View Post
I have a friend like this too. They dated from High School into college. Broke up for 1.5 years in college. Then got back together.

Personality type matters in this situation. My friend is SUPER liberal. It would not shock me if they were swingers, or if he enjoyed that cuckold crap.
Hey whatever floats their boat eh....
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