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Girlfriend accused me but talking to other guys...


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 17th October 2017, 3:39 PM   #1
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Girlfriend accused me but talking to other guys...

My girlfriend of 3 months is always accusing me of looking at other women. If there's somewhere that there's an attractive woman, she'll accuse me of looking...no...staring at her. We go to a bar one night, it's a dark bar, the waitresses wear white dresses. I saw a white dress, took a look, and then looked back and didn't pay any attention and she said I was staring at the woman? We train at the gym, I go to grab some dumbbells and there's a girl in the way, the girl smiles and moves out of the way I nod, thanks and grab my weight. My girlfriend accuses me of staring at her and says that she was looking at me and I was looking at her and smiling? Says that the girl was then looking at my girlfriend as if to say, "He's looking at me and he's with you because I'm hotter." My girlfriend is way hotter so I don't know why someone hot would be so insecure about someone that isn't? I've told her that she's hot plenty of times and that I think she has a great body. She does it almost every time we are at a gym to the point that I look at the floor, ceiling, at my phone and she still says I do it and then I get mad. Then she claims she joking?

Fast forward, I found out after we took a trip and I dropped her back home at 11pm. She then calls some guy and says she just got back from her trip and with her "friends" and she had a good time and would love for him to come over and they can do something like that, it would be so much fun. Then another time, video chats with someone after he video messages her some video of him in the gym and says "You look good, I love your smile." He messages back that he just got wifi and was at the airport heading to Texas from NYC (we are in AZ). She didn't know I heard either of these. I didn't see the video but heard her say, "I just got a video from you in the gym..." I confronted her on these and she played dumb at first until I gave a more specific account. She then records and audio message via Facebook messenger claiming that's what it was and she has friends that are guys because she doesn't get along with many women. I told her she said VIDEO in the message I heard. Says that the guy going to Texas is a friend that's married and he's been friends for years. I never heard about this guy, she never mentioned him, she tried to act like she didn't know what I was talking about when it happened 2 days before I confronted her (the one mentioning our trip was 5 days prior). Then I do something that I never do, I ask to see her phone and hand her mine because I had nothing to hide and if she has nothing to hide she can show me. She refuses to take my phone and claims I would have erased anything. She did that likely because if she took mine, I can look at hers. I said there's nothing more to talk about then and ended it.

She messaged after she went home on a video that she's only messaging me. She tells me that the guy going to Texas is a friend and she can prove it. Why not prove it when I confronted you? Why say you were out with friends when you were with your boyfriend? You prove it afterwards to prep that guy to tell me a fake story? If I called some girl at 11pm and said I was out with friends and she found out, she'd be livid. If I messaged some girl and told her that I loved her smile she would be furious. Just looking in the direction where a girl is, not even looking at the girl in the general vicinity, she's irate. She did message me a couple days ago saying she may have left something in my place but there's nothing at my place and I just told her that back and she said thanks. It's been 3 weeks now and I'm starting to miss her although it's likely because I'm feeling the single lonely part?
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Old 17th October 2017, 3:55 PM   #2
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Some people accuse others of the very behavior they are guilty of just to deflect suspicion.


You have barely been dating 90 days. Should be full on honeymoon period, when you are at your best behavior & it's all easy.


This would be way too much drama for me.
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Old 17th October 2017, 4:27 PM   #3
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It's really doesn't matter what has she done. What's matter is that she's a serial liar. The problem with serial liars is that sometimes they are very cute, sexy and charismatic. It just that they have problems to tell the truth. they aren't honest in their nature.

Never go back to her.
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Old 17th October 2017, 5:22 PM   #4
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She messaged after she went home on a video that she's only messaging me. She tells me that the guy going to Texas is a friend and she can prove it. Why not prove it when I confronted you? Why say you were out with friends when you were with your boyfriend? You prove it afterwards to prep that guy to tell me a fake story? If I called some girl at 11pm and said I was out with friends and she found out, she'd be livid. If I messaged some girl and told her that I loved her smile she would be furious. Just looking in the direction where a girl is, not even looking at the girl in the general vicinity, she's irate. She did message me a couple days ago saying she may have left something in my place but there's nothing at my place and I just told her that back and she said thanks. It's been 3 weeks now and I'm starting to miss her although it's likely because I'm feeling the single lonely part?
Seriously... Listen to what d0nnivain is saying.

She is a cheater at heart, so she assumes you are also a cheater!
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Old 17th October 2017, 6:28 PM   #5
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Thanks!

Thanks for the replies and yes, she's projecting on me what she's doing. I've been thinking that a lot too since she's always assuming I'm doing something. If I say goodbye to her and she drives off and I go into the other entrance to my building because that door was closer, she thought I was going to another girl's apartment and immediately called me on her drive home (4 minutes away)? Then I video myself in my own apartment and show no one else around me. I thought that is ridiculous since I never did anything for her to think I'm doing something yet she does things I would question like when we were at the gym, she's constantly having to use the restroom and before she walks there she always has to turn back, grab her phone, and take that in with her? When I ask why she always needs her phone to pee? She says because she's listening to her music. Like it's THAT necessary? If you already have it on you then I get it but to turn around to get it for that? Just take the headphones off your ears? Even to throw out her garbage across the parking lot, that takes 10 seconds to walk to, she turns back to grab her phone? If my phone makes a sound (because of an email) she says, "Someone's texting you." and I tell her it's just an email but yet she gets texts from guys she knows and I get the "that's my gay friend". When I had confronted her to show me her phone and I'd show her mine she declined and said that she doesn't have to because she's got nothing to hide or prove. If there's nothing to hide, wouldn't you show it? She stayed for 4 hours telling me I'm wrong but still refused to show me any proof. Anyway, yeah you guys are right. Not together very long and dealing with all that drama is just not worth it.
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Old 17th October 2017, 6:56 PM   #6
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Not together very long and dealing with all that drama is just not worth it.
That qualifies as emotional abuse in my opinion. Not worth the effort.
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Old 17th October 2017, 9:54 PM   #7
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Thanks for the replies and yes, she's projecting on me what she's doing. I've been thinking that a lot too since she's always assuming I'm doing something. If I say goodbye to her and she drives off and I go into the other entrance to my building because that door was closer, she thought I was going to another girl's apartment and immediately called me on her drive home (4 minutes away)? Then I video myself in my own apartment and show no one else around me. I thought that is ridiculous since I never did anything for her to think I'm doing something yet she does things I would question like when we were at the gym, she's constantly having to use the restroom and before she walks there she always has to turn back, grab her phone, and take that in with her? When I ask why she always needs her phone to pee? She says because she's listening to her music. Like it's THAT necessary? If you already have it on you then I get it but to turn around to get it for that? Just take the headphones off your ears? Even to throw out her garbage across the parking lot, that takes 10 seconds to walk to, she turns back to grab her phone? If my phone makes a sound (because of an email) she says, "Someone's texting you." and I tell her it's just an email but yet she gets texts from guys she knows and I get the "that's my gay friend". When I had confronted her to show me her phone and I'd show her mine she declined and said that she doesn't have to because she's got nothing to hide or prove. If there's nothing to hide, wouldn't you show it? She stayed for 4 hours telling me I'm wrong but still refused to show me any proof. Anyway, yeah you guys are right. Not together very long and dealing with all that drama is just not worth it.
All those guys she's text are more than friends.. Never forget that fact. Woman like her is doing they own game play. You found out because you were more aware of what she was doing. You stare she stare is another way she likes to be focus on. You and her a new and now old and gone.. She's nutty and liar you just don't want her if you did she would destroy your self-esteem.
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Old 18th October 2017, 6:37 AM   #8
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Fast forward, I found out after we took a trip and I dropped her back home at 11pm. She then calls some guy and says she just got back from her trip and with her "friends" and she had a good time and would love for him to come over and they can do something like ....
Like play 'hide the sausage' because her 'friends' weren't you and she's so horny now.
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Old 18th October 2017, 10:48 AM   #9
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Yeah, sorry dude. She's cheating on you. Guarding her phone? Taking it to the bathroom to pee? Accusing you of cheating when you haven't? That's her way of easing her guilt. She's telling herself that it's okay to do what she's doing because you're probably doing it to her as well.

I mean, come on. Telling some dude that she just got back with "friends" and she invites him over after 11pm? That it would be so much fun? That kind of limits what kind of fun you can have after 11pm. writing is on the wall dude.

Time to go NC on her. NO CONTACT! Time to heal up and move on. And time to start looking at some pretty girls without feeling guilty!
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Old 18th October 2017, 11:42 AM   #10
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Like play 'hide the sausage' because her 'friends' weren't you and she's so horny now.
Well, I didn't state the full detail to prevent the post from being too wordy but she actually said, "It's 11 o'clock, I just got home from my little trip with some...friends and it was really good, really fun. We walked around and ate and it was really fun. I will love for you to come over and we could do something like that, it would be so much fun. If your lost right now I don't know where you're at but I hope you turn up soon. Good morning to you." So, it could sounded like she wants him to take a trip with her and he's in another time zone? Either way, it's cheating. When I said that she's talking about taking a trip with someone she said that's just her getting her wording wrong because of her accent (she's Spanish) and she meant to come to Arizona and they can visit over where we were. Although, no matter how bad her English is (and she speaks it pretty well) saying, "We could do something like that" is loud and clear.
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Old 18th October 2017, 11:54 AM   #11
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Yeah, sorry dude. She's cheating on you. Guarding her phone? Taking it to the bathroom to pee? Accusing you of cheating when you haven't? That's her way of easing her guilt. She's telling herself that it's okay to do what she's doing because you're probably doing it to her as well.

I mean, come on. Telling some dude that she just got back with "friends" and she invites him over after 11pm? That it would be so much fun? That kind of limits what kind of fun you can have after 11pm. writing is on the wall dude.

Time to go NC on her. NO CONTACT! Time to heal up and move on. And time to start looking at some pretty girls without feeling guilty!
Yes, I started feeling that more and more about her projecting onto me what she's doing. Constantly accusing me to the point that if I saw a girl walk into my apartment gym, I made sure NOT to look in that direction. I looked at the floor, looked at my phone while I was waiting for her to finish her set, looked at the opposite side of the gym even just to look at the wall or stare at a piece of equipment and still she finishes her set and tells me to close my mouth (like it was open in awe). I was touching my tooth with my tongue so my mouth popped open but I was staring at my phone at the time. I was thinking I just can't win and how am I going to live like this? She had said once that ALL guys cheat since her exes cheated on her. I said NOT ALL GUYS CHEAT! Women cheat just as much as guy do. She says that's not true. No matter what I say, she claims that women are always faithful? WTF? She's not relationship material.
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Old 18th October 2017, 3:36 PM   #12
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I have an ex that did the same thing to me. He was jealous, possessive, and then it turned into abuse. Run away as fast as you can. She is no good.
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