LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating > Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

Appropriate to Lip Kiss for a Greeting


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Like Tree7Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 17th October 2017, 12:16 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 350
Appropriate to Lip Kiss for a Greeting

My GF (Age 43) is a very bubbly and friendly. My ex W was too very conservative and I really liked that about her. My GF (who I dated in college 20+ years ago) is a bit more socially liberal in how she dresses, interacts and overall views on sex but no where near extreme.




I have no doubts she is committed to a monogamous relationship with me. I have noticed on two occasions she has greeted a guy acquaintance by kissing them full on the lips. The first one was a former neighbor boy who was like 17/18 who we ran into at the grocery story. I didn't say anything but thought that was very weird. Last weekend she did that with her cousins husband (mid 20s) when we met them for dinner. It was my first time meeting the cousin's husband but my GF told me a few times she doesn't like him at all and that he is "odd" so it caught me off guard she kissed him on lips.


I am ok with a friendly kiss on cheek for close friends/relatives but a kiss on the lips seems inappropriate. It is too intimate and personal in my opinion. I stewed about it for a couple days and told her it made me uncomfortable. Am I over reacting?
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2017, 12:23 PM   #2
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,169
I don't like social kissing on the lips but I would not interpret somebody else's doing so as cheating.


You can mention it to her but yes, you are on your way to overreacting.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2017, 12:47 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 350
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
I don't like social kissing on the lips but I would not interpret somebody else's doing so as cheating.
I didn't see it as cheating just very weird that she would do that. Again that is an intimate thing to do IMO.
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2017, 12:58 PM   #4
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 3,958
Strikes me as weird....

I have never had anyone give me a "friendly" kiss on the lips (unless you count my parents when I was young).

If a friend came up and kissed my husband on the lips as a greeting I would be taken back.

And I am a very social, touchy feely no kinda person. But I hug for a greeting, no kissing, especially on the lips.
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2017, 1:00 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Rockdad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 260
I haven't given it much thought because it's common place around our home in greeting a friend. We have a group of friends we are dearly close to.
That's just the way we all are. I've seen my wife greeted in this manner countless times, I think nothing of it. My wife is there if I greet a friend. She thinks nothing of it. I was born an affectionate soul, just the way I am.
__________________
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
Rockdad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2017, 1:55 PM   #6
Established Member
 
TheWoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 252
The only person I kiss on the lips is my partner. I am a very liberal person.
__________________
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full for language & ideas, even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make any sense. - Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī
TheWoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th October 2017, 10:24 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 71
I would be just as uncomfortable with it as the OP. I kiss relatives and family on the cheek as a greeting.

She should be willing to compromise on something this simple, if she values and understands that it makes you uncomfortable.

It's not like you're asking her to, for example, move across the country and get another job away from any family. Extreme example, but just a comparison.
JEG88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th October 2017, 10:25 AM   #8
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 11,833
I know plenty who do this sort of thing....their personality is more like motherly, big hearted, shows they care about everyone type. There's nothing sexual or passionate about it.

If it makes you uncomfortable I guess you are just going to have to say something about it. That's your only choice.
__________________

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th October 2017, 10:30 AM   #9
Established Member
 
simpleNfit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Where the snow is better than in Colorado!
Posts: 2,051
Guy here... It is unusual, but I come from a very affectionate family and culture. I greet by kissing, but on the cheek, this includes very close male family members. I will kiss very close female friends on the lips, but the only male I kiss on the lips is my little boy and girl.

If I were to see that I would not be bothered either way. It's a matter of culture, upbringing.
__________________
...love being a father!
simpleNfit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th October 2017, 11:02 AM   #10
Established Member
 
darkmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,583
women have never kissed me on the lips, only men do

Last edited by darkmoon; 19th October 2017 at 11:04 AM..
darkmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th October 2017, 3:00 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Space Ritual's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,383
So,

Conundrum number 3 in about as any months?

You literally are using the same script for every one of your initial posts......


"I have no doubts she is 100% committed to me."

Italy, Number of Partners...now Kissing young men on the Lips at greeting...

So even though you are 100 percent sure, you keep busy writing into us, agreeing with most of what we say along the way, then doing the exact opposite.

Lather, rinse,repeat.

I am going to be as nice about this as i possibly can:

You will never be happy in this relationship...ever.

if there is one thing that seems off kilter, then it's yet another, then another. Basically you are uncovering a host of odd behaviors that would be one thing if you were 23. But at 43, you should be far past this type of Tomfoolery and be able to act with clarity.

I get the feeling that perhaps you feel like you are not going to do any better than this chick, and are willing to sacrifice your own sanity because of her looks and the sex.

It's eating you up inside.

I just don't get it. Why do you put yourself through such agony over a piece of ass?
Let's face it. The pull of her Coochie is strong enough that you will accept these behaviors as the price of admittance to her mink lined vagina.

If you want to keep playing this game with her, then be my guest. It's as if you thrive on this type of conflict.

Most of what everyone has said to you in your other threads has fallen on Deaf Ears. You have been given rock solid advice by the majority of the respondents to your threads. And you totally disregard all of it and just limp on to the next crisis while screaming "The Sky is Falling".

Dude, life is what you make of it. Why you continue to stay with a woman that does all these things that make you write into us every few weeks is mystery to me.

You obviously cannot handle a relationship at this point in your life. And While that is ok, you need to do something for yourself here, and that is to break this off and be alone for awhile to attempt to understand why you have such low self esteem that you wold put up with ANY of this.

Go read all of your threads over again. Can you see why I would write this to you?

For the love of all things sane, either dump her or accept the fact you will never feel comfortable with her, yet need to have her in your life anyway.
__________________
The measure of a person is not based upon the words that they speak, but upon the choices that they make.
If they keep stabbing you in the back, then quit handing them the knife.
Space Ritual is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd October 2017, 1:09 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 350
Quote:
Originally Posted by Space Ritual View Post
So,

For the love of all things sane, either dump her or accept the fact you will never feel comfortable with her, yet need to have her in your life anyway.
I think the lack of comfort comes from different personalities. She is bubbly friendly and a bit more socially liberal than I. I am very reserved. Yes she does/says some things that I do not 100% agree with but down deep she is an incredibly sweet and caring person who would do anything for me. I love her deeply.
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd October 2017, 2:21 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Space Ritual's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,383
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wookin Pa Nub View Post
I think the lack of comfort comes from different personalities. She is bubbly friendly and a bit more socially liberal than I. I am very reserved. Yes she does/says some things that I do not 100% agree with but down deep she is an incredibly sweet and caring person who would do anything for me. I love her deeply.
Different personalities? Really? THAT was what you came up with?

I mean you have written in here on this subforum with 3 different issues all pertaining to this woman.

Being incredibly sweet and caring is fine.

My ex was incredibly sweet and caring, when she wasn't having sex with my friends.

3 incidents like you have described thus far may lend itself to bolstering your belief that she is so sweet and caring.

However, you have basically talked yourself out of standing up for yourself and allowed her behaviors to be the can that gets kicked down the road. You continually make excuses for her when you are dispensed solid advice. So now it's on to "different personalities".

Are you actually reading what it is you re writing?

You are not her boyfriend, you are codependent on her as you have her too far up on a pedestal. And the only way you are going to let her off of it is by her hand alone.

Being a Glass Half Full person is fine and dandy, but it is working to your chagrin.

I don't think any of us are going to truly be able to help you. You have already submitted your whole self to her and basically discounted every piece of sane advice given you by the forum members.. Why even wonder why she does these things? You will piss and moan fr a few days and then back her up. All words, no action.

Good luck with being in a constant state of flux the remainder of this relationship. I do not apologize one iota for being harsh with you. You frankly are going to need more 2x4's to the dome until you realize this relationship is on an Express Train to Nowhereville.

Sadly, you will have to experience it firsthand before you wake up.

Good Luck.
Space Ritual is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd October 2017, 2:29 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,266
look up the "nicole kidman alexander skarsgard kiss" online, it was everywhere a few weeks ago because she went in for a full lip-lock on a national awards show while her husband (Keith Urban) was standing right there watching, and the whole viewing public too. it was a real wtf moment. she explained her behavior in a subsequent interview (maybe an excuse your gf uses?) but the internet was all aflame with concern, b/c it's very weird to most of us.
newmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd October 2017, 3:21 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 350
I did talk to her about it. She said she is an affectionate person but understands my feelings and she won't do it again. She couldn't remember who she kissed. I told her the young boy we ran into at the grocery. She said "Oh that's bad, he is old neighbor she's known since he was 5". She thought it was on cheek. I said no it was on lips and I thought it was weird.
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Second date greeting NebraskaGuy Dating 4 10th July 2016 12:25 AM
My story/greeting UntoTheBreach3 The Other Man / Woman 16 2nd June 2013 1:42 PM
b-day greeting from EX FeelingLonely98 Separation and Divorce 16 1st August 2010 7:24 PM
greeting customs in the U.S. moimeme In Search Of... 6 29th October 2003 12:14 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:01 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.