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My girlfriend is still in contact with her ex after they sexted each other


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 25th October 2017, 1:39 PM   #46
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I have to wonder if "there is no more talk" because she knows you saw her chat session with him and she's using other methods to communicate with him.

The flirting between them is definitely crossing a boundary. You can talk to her but I don't think much is going to change.
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Old 25th October 2017, 1:42 PM   #47
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OP, I do think you're being a little unreasonable, but if it really bothers you then you should talk to her about it. It's best to get things out in the open.

But I do think you're overreacting. I mean, let's keep things in perspective. We are talking about 'likes' here...
This wasn't just about the "likes" -- there was inappropriate flirting, much like the boundaries broken in your own situation.
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Old 25th October 2017, 2:15 PM   #48
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Dude they are having an emotional affair. It's just getting to that, she is testing the waters. I doubt complaining about it is going to change anything except she will be hiding it/deleting stuff more regularly now you have seen what she has been up to. She's not 100% committed in your relationship, a possible sending to her to the curb might be in order.
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Old 25th October 2017, 5:10 PM   #49
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Also, sorry, but at 22, she's still barely a real adult. She's in college. She's been with you since she wasn't even old enough to be caught at a party with a brew in her hand. She's got some growing up to do. It's unlikely this has long-term written all over it going forward, regardless.
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Old 30th October 2017, 11:09 AM   #50
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Girlfriend talking to her former affair partner

About a year ago my [24m] girlfriend [22f] of two years decided to tell me about her cheating past (not with me, her ex).

Basically, her and her high school bf went to colleges 6 hours apart. And ypu can guess what happened- we have all heard this story 1000 times, she cheated on him with a bunch of guys.

All of them were at her college except one guy that she worked with during one summer. She broke it off with him when she left college (about 3 years ago). They didnt talk for a year until she broke up with her ex and started dating me. They hooked up a few days before we had the exclusive talk, which is kind of ****ty but we werent exclusive.

They then didnt talk for another year until now when i notice his name popping up on her phone now. He has sent her a couple of facebook messages (which she showed me). And i noticed that he is one of her "best friends" on Snapchat.

This bothers me. But am i being unreasonable? A lot of people say that talking to exes is ok, but this isnt really an ex.
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Old 30th October 2017, 11:15 AM   #51
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Big red flag.

This woman has a history of infidelity and she is currently talking with her former "partner in crime." Proceed with caution...
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Old 30th October 2017, 11:31 AM   #52
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I would try to have a civilized conversation with her. Tell her it bugs you, but that you also understand that while she probably doesn't want to be with him, you are pretty sure those aren't the other guy's intentions. You don't want her to hide conversations from you and don't want secrets, but also feel like their relationship isn't going to help yours.

And then shut up and listen. Her response will tell you everything you need to know.
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Old 30th October 2017, 11:42 AM   #53
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I tried to talk to her about it last night. We have had problems with guys in her past talking to her inappropriately, which has caused a few blocks to be handed out.

She said that this isnt really a good example because they rarely talk.

I know that he is trying stuff because in one of the convos she showed me he was talking about how much he likes her mom and how he could have had the "coolest in law ever." Come onnnnn
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Old 30th October 2017, 11:59 AM   #54
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How long have you been dating? Does she have many redeeming qualities? Even so, in my opinion this relationship is not worth it.

Having a history of cheating is a red flag within itself, but then layer on the fact that she's talking with her ex on top of that, I would say RUN. And yeah those messages are not okay to be exchanging, and that's the beautiful part about Snapchat...the messages disappear so you have no idea what they could have been saying to each other.
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Old 30th October 2017, 12:04 PM   #55
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Four threads merged and please continue the discussion here. Some content may be duplicated. Thanks!
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Old 30th October 2017, 12:08 PM   #56
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How long have you been dating? Does she have many redeeming qualities? Even so, in my opinion this relationship is not worth it.

Having a history of cheating is a red flag within itself, but then layer on the fact that she's talking with her ex on top of that, I would say RUN. And yeah those messages are not okay to be exchanging, and that's the beautiful part about Snapchat...the messages disappear so you have no idea what they could have been saying to each other.
We have been dating for two years. And yes, she has many redeeming qualities which makes this all the tougher.
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Old 30th October 2017, 12:10 PM   #57
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So, to be clear... With the merging of threads, it's hard to put it together.

When she was in college, she cheated on her high school boyfriend with not one guy, but "a bunch of guys."

She's been dating you for two years now. While you were dating but before you were "exclusive," she hooked up with the guy she is currently texting.

But last year, you discovered that she was "sexting" with another guy - her first high school boyfriend.

Is that correct? Well, I feel like this girl has a significant issue with boundaries in that, she has none. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life, checking her phone to see which guy she is talking with now... That's not how healthy relationships are supposed to work.

Last edited by BaileyB; 30th October 2017 at 12:58 PM..
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Old 31st October 2017, 2:05 AM   #58
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Originally Posted by fidelcashflow View Post
T
I dont know what to do. I really do love this girl and want to be with her for the rest of my life and she feels the same way about me. She constantly tells me how she wants to marry me, we talk about what we will name our kids, and were about to inquire about a house last week!
Actions speak louder than words.

Ignore her words and look at the actions; they are a window to her heart and mind.


I would leave the relationship while the leaving is still good. You already know she's a a serial cheater.

Last edited by Logo; 31st October 2017 at 2:09 AM..
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Old 31st October 2017, 4:12 AM   #59
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OP, you can create thread after thread about the same thing, but the problem is this:

Your girlfriend is just not that into you, and she certainly has no respect for you. And I thought she broke up with you anyway?

A woman in love doesn't behave the way she does. Period. You can hang on if you like, but you will regret it. She will find someone else (and then someone else) to get her rocks off with.
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Old 31st October 2017, 12:16 PM   #60
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Fidel,

No matter which way you ask this same question, the result is the same. She is going to do whatever she wants, regardless of how you feel.

What is more disturbing than her actions is your steadfast refusal to listen to any of the advice anyone has given you. Instead, you reform the same question with little deviation and repost it , in hopes someone will tell you what you want to hear...and that what you want to hear is "No, she loves you totally and this is all a big misunderstanding".

What you are doing is called Pain Shopping.

Your GF has identified this in you, sees it as a tool to manipulate you without lifting a finger, and going about her merry way.

So for the last time (hopefully)..

Get rid of this gash. Do you not see when you are approaching 5 pages of replies that are all literally telling you the same thing, that your refusal to make a decision is actually making a decision?

She does not love you. She may have at one time, but she has lost respect for you over the curse of these 2 years. There is simply nothing you can do about that. Your milquetoast and limp noodled approach comes off as clingy and pathetic.

I am sorry that you are not getting this, but I am attempting one last time to give you a virtual 2x4 to the dome to act now and end this relationship NOW.

You are spinning your wheels, and pining away for someone that does not feel even remotely the same as you do. The only way to move forward is without her. Have the courage to venture into unknown territory. Your GF's Vagina is not lined with mink or diamonds. Stop acting like it is.

Dump her now....It is THE ONLY WAY!

I will not make any more comments on your threads unless it is to congratulate you for pulling the trigger when you announce that you have.
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