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Aquantaince's girlfriend was cheating on him with me. Should I tell him ?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 29th September 2017, 3:47 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by streetmaniac View Post
Please read my post again. I told you that these guys told me all this while that they were just friends. I asked the girl multiple times before and even during our fling as what was going on between them as they were always together. She kept telling me that they were just friends and nothing more. I was operating based on whatever knowledge was available to me. There is no question of my conscience here. I wouldn't have gotten involved had i known.
Yeah I re read it and it still is the same.

You need a crash course in Bro Code. As in you don;t even entertain messing about with anyone your friends may or may not be involved with, even if there is a scintilla of a chance they are.

That is a no brainer and it has been code since time immemorial.

What I do understand all too well is your desire to absolve yourself of any culpability and blame it all on the Tailfeathers that were being shaken in your face. You were mezmerized by her..she was hot, she was right there...she was....(insert whatever she was next)

Yeah, I get it. It's all her fault and you had a magic lamp in your pants that needed to be rubbed and you fell into her.

I'll tell you ,Aladdin,you are not the first to cone here with this conundrum, and you won't be the last. But like every other one that has come here in the last 9 years, it just happened and you should not be subjected to any consequence due to the onset of "Situational Naivete".

Others will be along that will support your latest malady, of that I'm confident.

Good Luck.
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Old 29th September 2017, 4:43 PM   #17
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Yeah I re read it and it still is the same.

You need a crash course in Bro Code. As in you don;t even entertain messing about with anyone your friends may or may not be involved with, even if there is a scintilla of a chance they are.

That is a no brainer and it has been code since time immemorial.

What I do understand all too well is your desire to absolve yourself of any culpability and blame it all on the Tailfeathers that were being shaken in your face. You were mezmerized by her..she was hot, she was right there...she was....(insert whatever she was next)

Yeah, I get it. It's all her fault and you had a magic lamp in your pants that needed to be rubbed and you fell into her.

I'll tell you ,Aladdin,you are not the first to cone here with this conundrum, and you won't be the last. But like every other one that has come here in the last 9 years, it just happened and you should not be subjected to any consequence due to the onset of "Situational Naivete".

Others will be along that will support your latest malady, of that I'm confident.

Good Luck.
I wasn't aware that the bro code involves not sleeping with a girl who the guy and the girl both claim are just friends with each other. I took " just friends" as just friends. Besides this guy is more of an acquaintance.

Also, it will be great if instead of berating me, you could assist me in deciding the future course of action.Thanks
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Old 29th September 2017, 6:13 PM   #18
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I am not sure if they were exclusive or not but they were certainly involved and were unofficially in a relationship. It is a strong possibility that they were exclusive.

My intention here is not to get them to break up. The outcome is not my concern. I just want him to KNOW. What he does with this knowledge is not my concern at all.
If they do not mean a thing to you and
you will never see them again after 20 days
then why are you caring now?

You did not care about them when you banged her.

This guy friend appears to be no more then an acquaintance.
So forget them and ride into the sunset in 20 days from now,
say nothing and forget them.

Why are you getting all emo, and righteous now?
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Old 29th September 2017, 6:52 PM   #19
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As for the guy, we aren't such close friends anyway. In fact me and girl became better friends during our little fling even though i met her through him.

Anyways, the classes i am attending with these guys will get over in 20 days and after that i may never see them again. So I am not concerned about our equation really.
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Originally Posted by streetmaniac View Post
My intention here is not to get them to break up. The outcome is not my concern. I just want him to KNOW. What he does with this knowledge is not my concern at all.
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Originally Posted by streetmaniac View Post
We aren't close friends.

Even I want to let it go but the idea of letting her go scot free with this and poor guy getting serious about a girl like this makes me wonder...
This guy is an acquaintance, not your BFF. In 3 weeks you will never see either of them again. The more you explain the more this sounds like sour grapes -- she picked him over you & you want to punish her.

Stay out of it.

She knows what she did. She's not proud of it which is why she hangs her head when she sees you.

Again you don't KNOW that she cheated. You said you didn't know they were dating & it was on the DL. Now they are official. If she slept with you now, it would be a problem. Then . . .while she might have been multi-dating . . . you have no proof that she wasn't morally free to do just that.

Leave these people alone. Pay attention to the professor in class. Keep your nose in your text book. Then get on with your life & stop bothering about these people.
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Old 29th September 2017, 9:38 PM   #20
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Aquantaince's girlfriend was cheating on him with me. Should I tell him ?

I read your post a couple of times. Sorry that this happened...I am sure it was hurtful and surprising. When I first read through your post the second time, I was going to suggest that you consider the depth of your friendship with this guy and that might give you clarity on whether you should speak with him. The conversation would probably go well if you were close and had a relationship of trust and some history. But then I read your comment in response to a reply post that said
"Anyways, the classes i am attending with these guys will get over in 20 days and after that i may never see them again. So I am not concerned about our equation really." and that you are not really speaking to her.....

If this guy was a close friend, he would have questioned you as to why you are not speaking with his girlfriend......but it doesn't sound like this has happened.

And since you don't think you will ever see them again, it sounds like you are not close friends. It doesn't sound like you have a lot of connection with each other if the relationship is temporary.

So, you might want to give this some thought. I think you have your answer. It would be hard to expect trust with someone where trust is not established. It might be worth thinking about letting this go and being more cautious next time.....but ultimately, it is your choice. Just be prepared that your message may not be received if you decide to have a conversation.
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Old 30th September 2017, 1:31 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by road View Post
If they do not mean a thing to you and
you will never see them again after 20 days
then why are you caring now?

You did not care about them when you banged her.

This guy friend appears to be no more then an acquaintance.
So forget them and ride into the sunset in 20 days from now,
say nothing and forget them.

Why are you getting all emo, and righteous now?
My friend, because when I was banging her, I was told that they were just friends. i did not wish to get involved with her if they were anything more. It's just a few days ago that I ve found out that they were more than friends and have in fact made their relationship official just now.

Thanks for your opinion.
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Old 30th September 2017, 1:36 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
This guy is an acquaintance, not your BFF. In 3 weeks you will never see either of them again. The more you explain the more this sounds like sour grapes -- she picked him over you & you want to punish her.

Stay out of it.

She knows what she did. She's not proud of it which is why she hangs her head when she sees you.

Again you don't KNOW that she cheated. You said you didn't know they were dating & it was on the DL. Now they are official. If she slept with you now, it would be a problem. Then . . .while she might have been multi-dating . . . you have no proof that she wasn't morally free to do just that.

Leave these people alone. Pay attention to the professor in class. Keep your nose in your text book. Then get on with your life & stop bothering about these people.
Seems like a good idea. It will also make me seem like a stronger man if I let it go.

Just that letting her get away with this seems like you are allowing injustice to happen.

Another truth is that I am really hurt over all this. I really started liking her over that period. She lied to me saying that she recently got out of a LTR so she doesn't want to date for now and only wants a fling. She chased me. Now to find out that she was in a relationship with this guy all along makes me feel fooled and used. Besides, that guy doesn't know that she was using his place for our liaisons. Just seems so wrong to let it all go.

Last edited by streetmaniac; 30th September 2017 at 1:40 AM..
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Old 30th September 2017, 4:04 AM   #23
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Seems like a good idea. It will also make me seem like a stronger man if I let it go.

Just that letting her get away with this seems like you are allowing injustice to happen.

Another truth is that I am really hurt over all this. I really started liking her over that period. She lied to me saying that she recently got out of a LTR so she doesn't want to date for now and only wants a fling. She chased me. Now to find out that she was in a relationship with this guy all along makes me feel fooled and used. Besides, that guy doesn't know that she was using his place for our liaisons. Just seems so wrong to let it all go.
You come her saying that they were not in a
relationship when you did her and then you are
now saying they were.

Truth is you wanted her. You had your shot at her
and she then picked someone else. Now you want
revenge. Just because she dumped you. Going into
this she told she did not want a relationship with you
just some casual fun.

She never made you a promise or committed to you.
You win some and you lose some. Time to learn how
lose with grace.
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Old 30th September 2017, 4:15 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by road View Post
You come her saying that they were not in a
relationship when you did her and then you are
now saying they were.

Truth is you wanted her. You had your shot at her
and she then picked someone else. Now you want
revenge. Just because she dumped you. Going into
this she told she did not want a relationship with you
just some casual fun.

She never made you a promise or committed to you.
You win some and you lose some. Time to learn how
lose with grace.
They were in a relationship all along. They just hadn't made it official. Not sure if they were exclusive or not. Their pre-official relationship status is not very clear.

But yeah, I am thinking that I will let it go, unless one day he comes and asks. Then i wont hold back.

Last edited by streetmaniac; 30th September 2017 at 4:34 AM..
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Old 30th September 2017, 9:51 AM   #25
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The worst thing is that she did all this with me at his place in his bed behind his back. In fact one day she did stuff with me while he was sleeping on a bed passed out drunk right next to her. she even asked me to **** her right there but i refused. We would even hang out behind his back.

I'm sort of not buying this.

a) Even if they were not officially dating one of them..most probably the dude would have made it clear by action that something was going on between them


but

b) Even is nothing was going on, why the need to go behind his back and wait until he was passed out drunk? No doubt you didn't openly flirt with her or come on to her around him when he was sober so you knew there was something going on.
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Old 30th September 2017, 9:53 AM   #26
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I wasn't aware that the bro code involves not sleeping with a girl who the guy and the girl both claim are just friends with each other. I took " just friends" as just friends. Besides this guy is more of an acquaintance.

Also, it will be great if instead of berating me, you could assist me in deciding the future course of action.Thanks
So if both claim they were friends why do you feel the need to tell him you banged?

You're all over the shop son.
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Old 30th September 2017, 10:21 AM   #27
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Look this girl is a Player who loves sex any way she can get it. I guarantee you nor the other guy were the only ones. You'd have to be stupid to fall for her.
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:13 PM   #28
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Look this girl is a Player who loves sex any way she can get it. I guarantee you nor the other guy were the only ones. You'd have to be stupid to fall for her.
Yeah stupid I was.

I had no idea she was like this though.

Anyway, I have decided to let this go. I doubt they'd last anyway.
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Old 1st October 2017, 12:36 AM   #29
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We aren't close friends.

Even I want to let it go but the idea of letting her go scot free with this and poor guy getting serious about a girl like this makes me wonder...
Just come across as if you are trying to find out if the girl played you.

then let him know that you and her have been going at it like rabbits.
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Old 1st October 2017, 1:35 PM   #30
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I wasn't aware that the bro code involves not sleeping with a girl who the guy and the girl both claim are just friends with each other. I took " just friends" as just friends. Besides this guy is more of an acquaintance.

Also, it will be great if instead of berating me, you could assist me in deciding the future course of action.Thanks
You already have your answers.

I'm sure at some point in the future, if it's not this "friend/acquaintance" (which one he was has changed between the beginning of your thread and now, so who knows, right?) it will be another.

Other than that I am confident this will happen again to you at some point as you seem to navigate sexual minefields with the precision of a sleepwalker
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