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Should I be concerned about partners behavior


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 26th September 2017, 11:02 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
OP doesn't want to go forward with this with her BF ....yet. So I made a suggestion to try first and see if that stuffs things out. And also to get Michelle's perspective on this. See if he has made any advances on her, or if anything he has said makes her uncomfortable, etc. You know woman to woman.
OK but why is Michelle sending a unzipping banana striptease animation to the OP's bf?
That was not an "innocent" fun pic, that has heavy sexual connotations...
I guess she is not going to get much "truth" out of Michelle, woman to woman.
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Old 26th September 2017, 12:40 PM   #32
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I have done some stuff like the OP's BF and this OW. I make raunchy jokes. One guy I text with sends me provocative pics of women. Etc.

The difference is I don't hide any of this from BF. If BF told me he was uncomfortable with any of it I would either stop or access whether we are compatible depending on what it was.

I have also set this expectation with BF. As soon as things become hidden, I think there's more to them than there might need to be. If it feels so wrong you have to hide it, it probably is crossing the line - at least that's what I feel.

I think part of the issue is that it seems like things are going into hiding. It also seems like that is not something the OP thinks is appropriate or enjoys. That plus a flirtatious personality and I could see why it would bother the OP.

I don't think it's necessarily things like a banana pic that are the issue, it's that it's feeling like they are hiding these interactions from the SOs. If it were all out in the open between the four of them it might not feel quite as much as if the BF's testing the water for an affair.

I still am not sure how the BF flirts in general, but IME these are the types of messages I get from men testing the waters - especially married men. That would make me uncomfortable and I would be watching to see what the BF did next. If things went into hiding more, if they cooled down, etc.
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Old 27th September 2017, 12:12 PM   #33
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OP, have you ever flirted with Michelle's boyfriend?

I'll explain why I am asking after you respond to that.
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Old 29th September 2017, 6:35 AM   #34
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OP, have you ever flirted with Michelle's boyfriend?

I'll explain why I am asking after you respond to that.
Yes I admit that I have. But she was jealous and he came across very closed, not as friendly whenever she was around. It was like he daren't be too friendly with me when Michelle was around for fear of upsetting her.
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Old 29th September 2017, 10:47 AM   #35
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OK so you have 3 choices...talk to your BF about it, talk to her about it, or do nothing.
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Old 29th September 2017, 11:06 AM   #36
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Yes I admit that I have. But she was jealous and he came across very closed, not as friendly whenever she was around. It was like he daren't be too friendly with me when Michelle was around for fear of upsetting her.
This is basically a setup to blame YOU for your boyfriend's behavior. Don't take the bait.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 10:04 AM   #37
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Well they haven't spoken to each other in over a week. Sam doesn't even seem interested in inviting them anywhere. so looks as though it was all a storm in a teacup.
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