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Should I expose my cheating ex-boyfriend?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 22nd September 2017, 4:20 PM   #1
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Should I expose my cheating ex-boyfriend?

I'll try to make this short: I dated this guy Jan through May 2017, 3 months together, spending 3 days a week together, and the last 2 months long distance. He was quite the gentleman, we got along great but there some red flags that I naively ignored. After 6 weeks of dating, we talked and agreed to be exclusive. He said he hadn't slept with anybody else but me since we met. We had unprotected sex and he got tested for STDs and showed me the letter. In May, things were more difficult with the distance and time difference and I noticed that one of his instagram friends had blocked me. I never met her or interacted with her but knew of her, she had visited him in February for 6 days, his "best friend" he claims.
He had introduced me to his best friends and parents as his girlfriend so I had no reason to doubt him but started asking questions... that's when he got defensive and eventually ignored me, was too busy to talk after admitting he "USED to hook up with her". A lot of other shady stuff came out and things just ended like this.

I learned that he had traveled to visit her, and messaged the girl on facebook while he was there saying that thanks to her blocking me I uncovered the truth about him and his lies about his "best friends", no reply and she blocked me. He immediately texted me asking if I has messaged her, and given my lack of response, blocked me everywhere.

Fast forward 3 months later, this girl messages me on facebook and says it's weird because she's been his exclusive girlfriend for 1.5 year (long distance). She asked for proof, and we exchange for a bit and realize how he played both of us (he told her I was a crazy stalker and she should block me) and cheated on her continuously, having unprotected sex with us and most likely others...

Now my question is: is it too petty or low class to get revenge by posting on social media a happy selfie of me and the other girl and exposing the cheating POS he is? We'd do it with a touch of humor of course, but it is very tempting and that would expose all his lies. Thanks for reading!

P.S: we're all adults, around 35yo fyi
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Old 22nd September 2017, 4:31 PM   #2
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It's tempting, but I wouldn't do it.

You never know who is going to see it on social media.

Sorry you were played. Hopefully, you can move on soon.
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Old 22nd September 2017, 6:48 PM   #3
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No, It is not too petty or low class to get revenge by exposing him, it's even a service for the community. But I think in these cases you might get hurt, because once you start a fight, you have no control on how is it going to develope. It could harm you in a way you can't imagine.

My own statistic says that I almost never regreted for holding back, but regreted many times for not holding back. I would advice you to enjoy having the power in your hands, but not to use it.
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Old 22nd September 2017, 7:52 PM   #4
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No. Feel free to vent here, but no good can come of it. If she finds out and she comes to you, it might be worth being an honest caring voice. Otherwise, you have nothing to gain except a moment of joy followed by a super icky feeling that will last a really long time.

I've been cheated on and I've been 'the other girl'. I feel your pain and I know where she's probably headed. She probably has to learn that lesson on her own, sadly. I know if someone had told me those guys were cheaters, it would only have made me think 1. what a petty jealous classless bitch, and 2. now I gotta walk on eggshells until this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy/i'm going to prove her wrong (depending on my stage in development).
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Old 23rd September 2017, 4:53 PM   #5
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All his friends knew he was playing the both of you...all you are going to get is, yup he sure played those two haha.
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Old 23rd September 2017, 5:10 PM   #6
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Go ahead and post it. He will just look like a player which will get him more women. It isn't going to mess up anything for him. Guys will high five him.
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Old 23rd September 2017, 5:35 PM   #7
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I get it. You're pissed that he played you, used you on the side, and has now moved on to other options. Not to mention, his blocking you rather than responding after you realized you were just extra side action and he had a long-term GF.

But as you yourself admit, there were plenty of red flags that you chose to ignore when you were enthralled with him. Reflect on what you would do differently, learn from your mistakes, and move on.

You already wasted enough time on him. Why invest another iota of your time, energy, or mental space focused on his POS (your words) ass? Why continue to engage in drama with someone who was never worth your time in the first place? At best, it shows is how invested you continue to be long after he is done with you. At worst you come across as the cray-cray, bitter stalker he's depicting.

Stop holding yourself back by dwelling on the past. It was a mistake. Let it go. The best revenge is living well. Please move on and start doing that.
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Old 23rd September 2017, 5:48 PM   #8
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You never can predict whether she'll stick to her guns either. She might decide to stay with him if he promises her the moon, you know. I mean, I don't think it's a big deal whether you do or don't, but it's putting your private business all the way out there.
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Old 24th September 2017, 12:40 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabella486 View Post
I'll try to make this short: I dated this guy Jan through May 2017, 3 months together, spending 3 days a week together, and the last 2 months long distance. He was quite the gentleman, we got along great but there some red flags that I naively ignored. After 6 weeks of dating, we talked and agreed to be exclusive. He said he hadn't slept with anybody else but me since we met. We had unprotected sex and he got tested for STDs and showed me the letter. In May, things were more difficult with the distance and time difference and I noticed that one of his instagram friends had blocked me. I never met her or interacted with her but knew of her, she had visited him in February for 6 days, his "best friend" he claims.
He had introduced me to his best friends and parents as his girlfriend so I had no reason to doubt him but started asking questions... that's when he got defensive and eventually ignored me, was too busy to talk after admitting he "USED to hook up with her". A lot of other shady stuff came out and things just ended like this.

I learned that he had traveled to visit her, and messaged the girl on facebook while he was there saying that thanks to her blocking me I uncovered the truth about him and his lies about his "best friends", no reply and she blocked me. He immediately texted me asking if I has messaged her, and given my lack of response, blocked me everywhere.

Fast forward 3 months later, this girl messages me on facebook and says it's weird because she's been his exclusive girlfriend for 1.5 year (long distance). She asked for proof, and we exchange for a bit and realize how he played both of us (he told her I was a crazy stalker and she should block me) and cheated on her continuously, having unprotected sex with us and most likely others...

Now my question is: is it too petty or low class to get revenge by posting on social media a happy selfie of me and the other girl and exposing the cheating POS he is? We'd do it with a touch of humor of course, but it is very tempting and that would expose all his lies. Thanks for reading!

P.S: we're all adults, around 35yo fyi
I think it would be a great idea. Go for it.

Just say something to the effect.

Come to find out my new best friend and I was in an exclusive relationship with the same guy at the same time. Hum.

Don't be mean or petty with how you word it.
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Old 24th September 2017, 1:01 PM   #10
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Just move on. His way of life is none of your business.

Yeah, I sound like a twat, but why even waste time and energy in such person?
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Old 24th September 2017, 3:30 PM   #11
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If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't you want to know who you were seeing?

Sure it may hurt, but at least you'd have the truth.

Nothing sanitizes like Light. People need to be held accountable for their actions and when they enter int nefarious behaviors then they should do so knowing the consequences that potentially exists.

I would not waste time putting it on blast though. I'd contact the party involved and would be prepared to provide proof.

All that "best way to get revenge is by living well" is all bullcrap. It sounds good but people do not change behaviors unless forced to as a result of concrete consequences incurred. Usually that is embarrassment and disapproval by those closest to the perpetrator.

Don't do it as an act of revenge. I'm a poster boy for revenge so I can safely say acting in that spirit is counterproductive. Do it as a teachable moment to somebody who could really use it, and this guy could use it.
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Old 26th September 2017, 12:30 PM   #12
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The way I read your story OP you and the other woman have already been in contact and you know he two timed you. I don't see any reason not to post a pic if you both are OK with it. But I have a feeling most of his friends probably already know or he spun some sort of lie to cover it. I wouldn't necessarily get revengeful in the caption. I think you two could figure out something cleaver that gets the point across but is still light. I would personally want to know things like that (history of lies and two-timing) if I started dating someone.

It's happened to me too except I didn't know in the moment. I met the other woman a few years later by chance and we became friends and one night when we were talking about exes we both realized we dated the same guy at the same time. We've told the story several times and at this point we just laugh over it since it's been so long. She'll say things to me like "I rather have your delicious cookies in my life than him". I almost happened again too since she had contacted him online when I first started dating my BF (she had no idea who he was so it was a complete accident). BF told me when he realized it. We've all laughed that her and I seem to have the same taste in men.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 12:11 AM   #13
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OP, yes you should do it, not as a revenge but to warn other women that he is a liar and cheater.
Maybe not on facebook but how about some review website?
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Old 12th October 2017, 10:31 AM   #14
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Yes Definately, Expose Him!

I have recently had a very similar experience and although mine continued to LIE to get his own way and still is, even posting on this forum with two different personna's.

I have contact details of both the women he cheated on me with and we have discussed things in detail. I just wish I could Pre-warn his future targets!!

I would always want to know the TRUTH if ever in a similar situation.
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Old 5th November 2017, 9:18 AM   #15
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I would tell her the details, but not do a crazed expose on him.

If she were unaware, I'd not even tell her.

My view is the information only causes pain, and I am not here to cause pain.
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