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is he a player


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 19th September 2017, 11:46 AM   #1
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is he a player

i met a guy last year this is my story,

hes charming
always knows what to say,

i met him off a dating site in January 2016 it was amazing fell for him instantly, he was amazing with my children all teenagers
im 43 hes 46 i met one of his children too

the meeting up twice a week changed he had his own shared accommodation so came to pick me up regularly took me to his watched movies cooked a meal for meal very romantic

we get to the summer things start to change, became a bit distant i find out hes a fiance who only 22 same age as my daughter i was fuming spoke to his fiance few times shes a lovely girl and explains hes cheated on her before with 2 other girls one is was living with

fast forward to march 2017, hes contacted me again and we have started our love affair again, hes told me ignore the stuff last year it was all lies, so he starts texting me every day again, but this time hes homeless living with his friend and has a new job as he got sacked on his last job

he went distant again in july/august so i put it straight you either want me around or you dont and that i deserve respect here and i will walk away, so he text saying sorry of course i want you and has become homeless and hes sorry

anyway my son texts him a lot as hes very angry at moment asking for his help with something and warned him i will walk away and he goes me and your mother are fine we been texting iv not received one text in 4 days off him
anyway with his new job hes now saying hes works nights even though he promised see me once a week and cant this week due to working nights last week it was weekends 12 hour shifts but than gets called in week days

everytime i get in my head im going to walk away he contacts me with charming self he knows im in love with him
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Old 19th September 2017, 12:28 PM   #2
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So he was cheating on his fiance with you, and his fiance told you that he cheated on her with two other women.

And you are asking if he is a player? C'mon OP. Really? You're 43. You can't claim to be this naive.
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Old 19th September 2017, 12:56 PM   #3
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its just in a mess really, he told me last year he was trying to have a double life and that its not the sex
but he loves romance and wants stability but wants something else too and always says i'm not getting older like he don't accept it
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Old 19th September 2017, 1:13 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by jessie9090 View Post
its just in a mess really, he told me last year he was trying to have a double life and that its not the sex
but he loves romance and wants stability but wants something else too and always says i'm not getting older like he don't accept it
He's a known liar and yet you fall for his words. Just because he said so? When do you sit back and start thinking with your brain rather than your heart and start coming to some level of self-awareness?

It does say something about your own emotional and mental dysfunction that you would still choose to be around someone like him. Any woman with a healthy level of self-esteem would have left the situation the moment she found out he was a serial cheater. Instead, when the red flag was slapping you in the face you again let him into your life. What could be so great about this man that you would ignore the signs?

Cooked you meals, picked you up, etc. are all superficial values. Those are piddly basics. Where is your want for loyalty, trust, empathy, kindness, etc? Where are your core values and why isn't that what you seek in a partner? Why isn't that important for you? Do you love yourself enough to believe that you deserve more?

Last edited by Zahara; 19th September 2017 at 1:20 PM..
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Old 19th September 2017, 1:58 PM   #5
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He's not working long shifts, he is dating another woman while he keeps you around using lies. That's his game. He keeps coming back because he know you are weak for him. So when there isn't anyone he is dating, he calls you up. When he meets someone, he makes up excuses to cover his tracks, and dates other woman. Don't get mad at him, you are the one that keeps seeing him, when you know he is as slimy as they come.
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Old 19th September 2017, 2:08 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessie9090 View Post
i met a guy last year this is my story,

hes charming
always knows what to say,

i met him off a dating site in January 2016 it was amazing fell for him instantly, he was amazing with my children all teenagers
im 43 hes 46 i met one of his children too

the meeting up twice a week changed he had his own shared accommodation so came to pick me up regularly took me to his watched movies cooked a meal for meal very romantic

we get to the summer things start to change, became a bit distant i find out hes a fiance who only 22 same age as my daughter i was fuming spoke to his fiance few times shes a lovely girl and explains hes cheated on her before with 2 other girls one is was living with

fast forward to march 2017, hes contacted me again and we have started our love affair again, hes told me ignore the stuff last year it was all lies, so he starts texting me every day again, but this time hes homeless living with his friend and has a new job as he got sacked on his last job

he went distant again in july/august so i put it straight you either want me around or you dont and that i deserve respect here and i will walk away, so he text saying sorry of course i want you and has become homeless and hes sorry

anyway my son texts him a lot as hes very angry at moment asking for his help with something and warned him i will walk away and he goes me and your mother are fine we been texting iv not received one text in 4 days off him
anyway with his new job hes now saying hes works nights even though he promised see me once a week and cant this week due to working nights last week it was weekends 12 hour shifts but than gets called in week days

everytime i get in my head im going to walk away he contacts me with charming self he knows im in love with him
everytime i get in my head im going to walk away -- There shouldn't be an "everytime". The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

The guy is blowing smoke up your as*. Stop inhaling.
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Old 19th September 2017, 11:38 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessie9090 View Post
i met a guy last year this is my story,

hes charming
always knows what to say,

i met him off a dating site in January 2016 it was amazing fell for him instantly, he was amazing with my children all teenagers
im 43 hes 46 i met one of his children too

the meeting up twice a week changed he had his own shared accommodation so came to pick me up regularly took me to his watched movies cooked a meal for meal very romantic

we get to the summer things start to change, became a bit distant i find out hes a fiance who only 22 same age as my daughter i was fuming spoke to his fiance few times shes a lovely girl and explains hes cheated on her before with 2 other girls one is was living with

fast forward to march 2017, hes contacted me again and we have started our love affair again, hes told me ignore the stuff last year it was all lies, so he starts texting me every day again, but this time hes homeless living with his friend and has a new job as he got sacked on his last job

he went distant again in july/august so i put it straight you either want me around or you dont and that i deserve respect here and i will walk away, so he text saying sorry of course i want you and has become homeless and hes sorry

anyway my son texts him a lot as hes very angry at moment asking for his help with something and warned him i will walk away and he goes me and your mother are fine we been texting iv not received one text in 4 days off him
anyway with his new job hes now saying hes works nights even though he promised see me once a week and cant this week due to working nights last week it was weekends 12 hour shifts but than gets called in week days

everytime i get in my head im going to walk away he contacts me with charming self he knows im in love with him
Yeah, well you need to ask yourself how many times does this guy have to send a telegraph that he cares about you a hell of a lot less than you care about him.

He is showing you who he is. Believe him.

Look, I am a guy in my 50's. I date women in their 20's still. But I also know enough that I have little in common with a female that age outside of a physical attraction TEMPORARILY.

I certainly would never be so flagrantly reckless by being engaged to someone that young. That is a no win situation. As guys like I get older, our chances of actually pulling these May-December romances off are drastically reduced each day.

What this shows me is that he will always be insecure and feel a need to search out comfort of other women.

Plus he cheated on his FIANCE with YOU.

I know the heart is strong, but please reconsider having any more contact with him. What actual good has come out of being with this guy thus far?

Run screaming in to the night with your hair on fire away from this guy or I guarantee you that your conundrum is a walk in the park compared to your Chagrin if you stay pining away for this Guy





So think about that
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:56 AM   #8
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He's definitely not a keeper. Always use condoms. Get tested regularly, every 6 months. Do not give this man your heart. He will only break it. He's not to be trusted.
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