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Crush on married boss and think the feeling is mutual


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 9th September 2017, 11:45 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
Double post, sorry.

Mickey, EVERYTHING about an affair is selfish, from ALL angles. Just because your husband is selfish doesn't mean you can't ALSO be selfish. Two wrongs do not make a right. Your husband may suck, but don't let him turn you into a cheater. Don't let HIS bad behavior convince you to compromise YOUR morals. You can still do the RIGHT thing.

I am seriously contemplating suicide as a result of my affair. That alone should tell you a lot about how horrible they are.
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Old 10th September 2017, 4:18 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by pumpkinpie1 View Post
Double post, sorry.

Mickey, EVERYTHING about an affair is selfish, from ALL angles. Just because your husband is selfish doesn't mean you can't ALSO be selfish. Two wrongs do not make a right. Your husband may suck, but don't let him turn you into a cheater. Don't let HIS bad behavior convince you to compromise YOUR morals. You can still do the RIGHT thing.

I am seriously contemplating suicide as a result of my affair. That alone should tell you a lot about how horrible they are.
Thanks pumpkinpie. I am sorry to hear that. This is not something I would ever have thought of doing. I usually think with my head and do the right thing but this guy is making me crazy.
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Old 10th September 2017, 4:20 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by DKT3 View Post
Like I said before, she isn't hearing anything... nothing we can do here. This woman is so delusional she doesn't see how this will impact her kid..

Good luck with your affair, I'm sure it will end so wonderfully blessed.
There is actually no affair. It is only flirting at this stage. I am confused don't know what I am doing.
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Old 10th September 2017, 7:14 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
Please read

AND

Comprehend our posts for there is no justification
for an affair.

Not even a bad marriage.

Nothing, no way, no how, no where, zero.

You would be better served asking how to make
your marriage better. After a real attempt and
you are not happy then divorce your BH.

As to being a ROLE MODEL. A WW banging her
OM is a great role model?

According to you this is the way to be for a role
model. Great way to teach your kids how to have
healthy relationships.
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Old 10th September 2017, 7:20 AM   #50
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
There is actually no affair. It is only flirting at this stage. I am confused don't know what I am doing.
Just flirting?

Do you not remember telling how the talk is
getting more intimate, how the physical touching
is getting more intimate?

Time to have the talk with your BH.

Tell him how his neglect has made you start to
think about divorce and having an affair. That
you do not want these things. Do you BH?
Then we have to both make changes on how to
recover our marriage.

First step is for you to leave your job.
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Old 10th September 2017, 7:58 AM   #51
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I think you should focus your energy on busting your husband. You described common cheater behaviors in him. Bust him, divorce him and find someone worthy of your affection.
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:16 AM   #52
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mickeyd ....

.... I seriously ... and I mean seriously ... suggest you look up one of the posters on LS called "Overtaxed" and read ALL of his threads and posts ... you will see EXACTLY what is going on here in your (potential) AP's head ...

... I really do hope you come to your senses.

xxx
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:18 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by GoldenR View Post
And the self destruction begins (as well as the destruction of a second family)....

You sound very immature. You shouldn't be married. An if you're hellbent on cheating, why not do it with a single guy? Plenty of them out there that love having a married gf...
GoldenR I don't understand how I am self destructing. And also I am not destroying another family. He needs to take responsibility for his actions he is a grown adult. I am not responsible for his actions. Why make me feel guilty for his family? I know nothing of their situation.
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:32 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
GoldenR I don't understand how I am self destructing. And also I am not destroying another family. He needs to take responsibility for his actions he is a grown adult. I am not responsible for his actions. Why make me feel guilty for his family? I know nothing of their situation.
Does he have kids?
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:50 AM   #55
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GoldenR I don't understand how I am self destructing. And also I am not destroying another family. He needs to take responsibility for his actions he is a grown adult. I am not responsible for his actions. Why make me feel guilty for his family? I know nothing of their situation.

Go thru the stories on here. Find me one story that's filled with rainbows and unicorns. It doesn't exist.

You are responsible for you making the decision to have sex with a married man. You can shut him down. In fact, I'll throw out a challenge....

You think this guy is so special, then why not shut him down completely and firmly. And watch how quickly he'll move on to his next target. You're just another sexual conquest to him. That's it.

And if you actually go thru with it, and this is the time that he gets found out by his W, resulting in a broken family, then yes, you are just as responsible for his family breaking up as he is.
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Old 10th September 2017, 10:39 AM   #56
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GoldenR I don't understand how I am self destructing. And also I am not destroying another family. He needs to take responsibility for his actions he is a grown adult. I am not responsible for his actions. Why make me feel guilty for his family? I know nothing of their situation.
This is cheater speak 101 here and it's exactly what I told myself when my affair was beginning. You are rationalizing this because you're angry at your husband.

Yes, you will be HELPING him to destroy his own family, along with yours, if you engage in an affair with him. You absolutely SHOULD feel guilty for helping to destroy another family. It's basic human decency. Do unto others..

I have not shared my own OW story yet but I can barely live with myself thinking about the fact that I have helped someone destroy another person. I met with his wife face to face. When you watch someone fall apart in front of you as a result of something you participated in, it's really difficult not to feel guilty about it. I am disgusted by myself. I can barely look in the mirror. When I actually can sleep, all I see is the devastated look on her face.

You are clearly very angry at your husband but you don't need to participate in the destruction of another family to get back at him. As another poster said, why not focus on busting him for his own affair if he's having one? Or work on your marriage? Or just file for divorce? Then you can find a nice, SINGLE man who loves you and treats you as you deserve to be treated.

If your best friends husband was cheating on her..would you befriend the OW?
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Old 10th September 2017, 12:26 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
Then you start divorce proceedings, prepare for being a single mother and making sure your children are taken care of and are the priority.

You don't meet selfishness and immaturity with like behavior. All that does is put you in the same "category" as he is in. If it were me, I would want to be on the high-road. He's not thinking about his family, his children. You need to counter that by being a stable influence and source of support for your children.

Let me tell you this, if you engage in a cheating scenario and it comes to divorce, you want to be the one in the partnership who has demonstrated that you are the more focused and stable partner so that the court system will find you to be the more suitable custody parent . . . if you demonstrate the same kind of behavior as your husband, you are both at risk of child protective services ursurping your rights. That is not a risk I would want to take!
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Old 10th September 2017, 2:28 PM   #58
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I suggest you read through some of the stories in the OW/infidelity section. Take a few days to do this. Let it sink in.

Then ask yourself if you really want to put yourself through this, or if you actually value your own happiness. You mentionned you have a good relationship with your kids. Don't screw it up.
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Old 10th September 2017, 3:14 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Does he have kids?
Yes he has - 2.
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Old 10th September 2017, 3:16 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by GoldenR View Post
Go thru the stories on here. Find me one story that's filled with rainbows and unicorns. It doesn't exist.

You are responsible for you making the decision to have sex with a married man. You can shut him down. In fact, I'll throw out a challenge....

You think this guy is so special, then why not shut him down completely and firmly. And watch how quickly he'll move on to his next target. You're just another sexual conquest to him. That's it.

And if you actually go thru with it, and this is the time that he gets found out by his W, resulting in a broken family, then yes, you are just as responsible for his family breaking up as he is.
GoldenR how do I shut him down? He's my boss. Right now he is giving me good feedback on my work - and yes I actually work hard and do a good job. What happens to that if I reject him?
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