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Crush on married boss and think the feeling is mutual


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 9th September 2017, 8:57 AM   #31
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Ok just to get some things straight. My husband pays me no attention, works late and secretly texts - I wouldn't be surprised if he is having an affair. He is emotionally detached, spends no time with his kids and only thinks about himself. I do everything for my kids and have a very close relationship with them - they are my priority. But yeah you are right - I think I have a right to make myself happy for once. Yeah I get it my boss may just want sex but who says I wanted anything more? And I do feel bad for his wife but that's his decision right? I hear a lot of double standards from your responses on this.
OK so why not have a serious conversation with your husband about the sorry state of your marriage and suggest you both stay together for the kids sake but have an open marriage. I know plenty of people who chose this type of arrangement. This would solve all your problems. Just set some ground rules and have at'er.

Oh and believe me, your kids know something is wrong with your marriage...if you two get divorced it won't be a surprise to them.
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Old 9th September 2017, 9:00 AM   #32
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And the self destruction begins (as well as the destruction of a second family)....

You sound very immature. You shouldn't be married. An if you're hellbent on cheating, why not do it with a single guy? Plenty of them out there that love having a married gf...
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Old 9th September 2017, 9:02 AM   #33
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If your H spends no time with the kids, and you pretty much plan on doing the same, where does that leave the kids?

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Old 9th September 2017, 9:22 AM   #34
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And the self destruction begins (as well as the destruction of a second family)....

You sound very immature. You shouldn't be married. An if you're hellbent on cheating, why not do it with a single guy? Plenty of them out there that love having a married gf...
It's not my fault if my boss is the way he is. He is the one that started this. Like I've said previously I've had coworkers in the past try and hit on me. I just haven't responded to them.... this time is different.
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Old 9th September 2017, 9:23 AM   #35
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If your H spends no time with the kids, and you pretty much plan on doing the same, where does that leave the kids?
I work part time. I spend plenty of time with them and that won't change
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Old 9th September 2017, 9:54 AM   #36
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Like I said before, she isn't hearing anything... nothing we can do here. This woman is so delusional she doesn't see how this will impact her kid..

Good luck with your affair, I'm sure it will end so wonderfully blessed.
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Old 9th September 2017, 11:25 AM   #37
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I work part time. I spend plenty of time with them and that won't change
Unless you're planning on bringing them with you on your meet ups, it'll change.
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Old 9th September 2017, 5:47 PM   #38
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Thanks everyone for your replies. I don't understand why you are all so harsh on me. My situation may not be more than just flirting and that doesn't bother me. I am not desperate for him and even if anything happens I don't know what I would do - just depends on how I am feeling at the time. Anyway, we are having team drinks after work this week so I will try and keep my distance from him.
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Old 9th September 2017, 6:04 PM   #39
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No one is trying to be harsh. But do you know how many times ppl have started threads on here with almost three exact same subject as you. And then they act on their feelings and cheat, and then regret it so much? Many of them wind up losing everything: husband, family,job, house, car. The results of an A are never positive, they're always devastating.
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Old 9th September 2017, 7:27 PM   #40
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Thanks everyone for your replies. I don't understand why you are all so harsh on me. My situation may not be more than just flirting and that doesn't bother me. I am not desperate for him and even if anything happens I don't know what I would do - just depends on how I am feeling at the time. Anyway, we are having team drinks after work this week so I will try and keep my distance from him.
People are being harsh on you because you seem way too open to having an affair with your married boss, which being married yourself..

If you move forward with this you will ruin multiple lives. Including your own. Pull your head out of your butt.

I just got out of an affair and it has ruined my life. Please get yourself out of this mindset ASAP.
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Old 9th September 2017, 7:40 PM   #41
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He's your boss, so that is where any discussion of a relationship, illicit or not, ends. Period. You sound like an otherwise smart woman, so use your brain .
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Old 9th September 2017, 8:32 PM   #42
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I have a crush on my married boss and think the feeling is mutual. I too am married and we both have children. I have only been working with him for 3 months now. I work part time and at least once a fortnight he wants me to work late with him. He winks at me, at first he used to touch my arm now he is touching my shoulder. He is extremely nice to me and never gets upset. Every time we have meetings together he gets really close to me and several times his leg has touched mine - not sure if it is on purpose. Is he flirting with me? What do I make of the situation?
Strange, I didn't see you asking when you should inform your husband you are into another man. Why not? Is the most important thing here whether or not some dingus is flirting with you? Just get a divorce now, your hubby deserves better and you deserve exactly the type of man who would be married and behave this way.

Enjoy each other, no doubt your children also will not care about you two timing daddy, this is about you
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Old 9th September 2017, 10:04 PM   #43
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Strange, I didn't see you asking when you should inform your husband you are into another man. Why not? Is the most important thing here whether or not some dingus is flirting with you? Just get a divorce now, your hubby deserves better and you deserve exactly the type of man who would be married and behave this way.

Enjoy each other, no doubt your children also will not care about you two timing daddy, this is about you
Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
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Old 9th September 2017, 11:10 PM   #44
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Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
So, the logical answer is to involve another man, who is clearly no better than your husband since he is willing to mess around with you, being a MARRIED woman.

Listen, your not some high school girl. You are an adult with adult responsibilities. The mature way to handle this is inform your husband of your issues within the marriage and him. Commit to fixing them, if the two of you are unable or unwilling then you end the Marriage.

Screwing around with a married man only complicates things.

My guess from experience is that you are not the awesome wife and mother you believe yourself to be. If you were, you wouldn't be entertaining this at all.
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Old 9th September 2017, 11:33 PM   #45
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Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
But why take your anger out on someone else's wife? Why not either work on your marriage or divorce your neglectful husband instead of deliberately helping someone to hurt an innocent third party? If your husband is a bad father then why do you continue to expose your children to him?

Misery loves company, yes..but is it truly necessary for you to participate in making his wife miserable just because you are miserable?

I am in no position to judge..I recently exited an affair of my own. And my thought process was very similar to yours. All I can say is..it didn't help me feel better. I feel disgusted by my actions, and I am much more miserable than I was before. I am honestly trying to figure out why I am still alive at this point.

Please use me as a cautionary tale. Please. Don't make my mistakes.

What would you tell your children if they were in an unhappy marriage? Would you encourage them to have a clandestine affair behind their spouses back? Is that something that would make you proud of them?

Would you be proud of yourself for cheating? Is that the example you want to set for your kids?
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Last edited by pumpkinpie1; 9th September 2017 at 11:37 PM..
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