Confusedjames Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 OK so me and my excuse girlfriend we dating for almost 2 in a half years and things were OK at the beginning she had lots of issues in herself no dad around sexual abuse her mom being a narcissist and never feeling good enough I helped her through all of it and even with her eating disorder made sure she knew she was beautiful everyday and was there for her through every problem we both had it was very hard but we got through it But at the end of April of this year I found out she cheated twice and had sex with one of the guys and got pregnant I didn't find out till after she broke up with me to focus on her and then I found out a week later that all that happened when I confronted her she started saying blaming me for things that Been happend in the past she said she thought I was cheating and everything else she said she didn't care if I killed myself and blocked me at the time I had school and work I couldnt eat for weeks couldn't sleep cried everyday tried to get her back did everything I could at the time she visited him they met of a video game so I know they met up to have sex I knew about him but I trusted her he even told me he had a girlfriend and he has a child already but any during the end of april till this day I was going through hell plus trying to win her back I was still inlove with her so I tried to get her back back and forth everyday with shame feeling ugly used and lied to feeling he was better feeling I couldn't give her the child she always wanted and he did I felt embarrassed I had so much anxiety me and my mom would argue everyday scream at each other I would go through hell and still make sure my ex was ok even though the other guy wanted to be in the child's life he wanted my ex too so it was a love triangle eventually she lost the baby he was there when she had to get the dead baby sucked out but I was there for her through all of that but she never was there she would block NE for days be hot and cold towards me everyday she would say she hated loving me and she soo inlove with him I'm disposable and that im not important would keeping cutting me off for weeks saying she needs to be with him and he is the right move for her and she is just scared of dating me again back and forth everyday during that time I was trying to get help and pray to get better and that last time she bring up the same bs lines she blocked me that was last month on 13th that day I got fed up I didn't care I didn't talk to her for almost 2 months I was getting help I worked on myself I was proud of myself of not letting someone toxic ruin me make fun of me and not care unless they need me she then wished me happy bday on August 1st I never replied until weeks later then she keeped asking did I get her bday message I just kept it short and said thanks then days later she asked if we could talk then she told me the guy she got pregnant by and left me for never left his babymom when he said he would he cheated on her twice he picks on her insecurities and etc then I asked why she kept telling me that she said she finally knew how I felt after what she did to me and after how back she treated me I wouldn't let go she basically was doing the same thing for him I did for her she said I don't like him but I love him then she said sorry about everything she said if she would kept the love she had for me she has for him we would have been together longer etc she cried I was there for her and that was that but now everytime we get otp she keeps asking if im dating over and over I ask why she says u know im nosy and I want to see if someone makes u happy but she keeps saying she is scared to get back with me everytime she brings us up idk why she keeps asking me and why did she put me through so much hell? BTW I've been doing better being in contact with her doesn't hurt anymore thinking of my newborn baby sister helps alot:p Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I'm going to be blunt. You all are too chaotic, all three of you, to be having a child! She's all over the place, he's a cheater, and you think in terms of "can't give her a baby." She's too crazy to be a mother! No boundaries anywhere in sight. You need to cut her off, block her, never speak to her again so you can move on, and then you need to do something to move forward with life, work hard, sock money away, be responsible, and stop thinking about bringing a baby into a big mess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 3, 2017 Author Share Posted September 3, 2017 I'm going to be blunt. You all are too chaotic, all three of you, to be having a child! She's all over the place, he's a cheater, and you think in terms of "can't give her a baby." She's too crazy to be a mother! No boundaries anywhere in sight. You need to cut her off, block her, never speak to her again so you can move on, and then you need to do something to move forward with life, work hard, sock money away, be responsible, and stop thinking about bringing a baby into a big mess. At a point I did want a child with her but how she is I can't have as a mother I haven't thought about a child with her I just don't understand her hating she loves me and wanting to know who I'm dating so much Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 There's lots of people who break up with you or tell you to move on because they're not interested but get an ego boost out of it if you don't move on and like to think you're still worshipping at their feet -- which you are. I've had guys get jealous who wouldn't date me when they saw me with another guy. They don't want me and don't want anyone else to have me. It's got to be an ego thing. Your goal is stop giving a crap what she's thinking and why she's thinking that, and to do that, you need to block her and not look at her social media or let her contact you. Leave with some dignity. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 There's lots of people who break up with you or tell you to move on because they're not interested but get an ego boost out of it if you don't move on and like to think you're still worshipping at their feet -- which you are. I've had guys get jealous who wouldn't date me when they saw me with another guy. They don't want me and don't want anyone else to have me. It's got to be an ego thing. Your goal is stop giving a crap what she's thinking and why she's thinking that, and to do that, you need to block her and not look at her social media or let her contact you. Leave with some dignity. Good luck. That is great advice I have been getting Better I haven't needed her much often I've been I'm happier I still miss her a ton but I would like a girls perspective on why a women who cheated hates that she loves the guy she cheated on and left she still says she is scared to date me she still choose him Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 I found out she cheated twice and had sex with one of the guys and got pregnant I didn't find out till after she broke up with me to focus on her and then I found out a week later that all that happened when I confronted her she started saying blaming me for things And at this point you should have realized what a piece of crap girlfriend you really had and made every attempt possible to cut her out of your life without a second thought. But now you are asking why she would want to keep asking bout your happiness? Young man, you are asking the wrong question WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT SHE ASKS..WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN CONTACT WITH THIS TROLLOP? THAT is the ONLY Question you should be asking aloud. You dodged a huge bullet. Thank your lucky stars and never have any contact with her again. Let her be some other moron's problem. End of story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 You are a rescuer/ white knight. You mistake dependency for love. This is why this has turned toxic and has left you in a mess. Your answer? Go no contact. And when you finally cut her out of your life, everything around you and how you feel will go back to normal/peaceful. Your anxiety will disappear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Your question should be: "Why am I still talking to my cheating ex?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 That is great advice I have been getting Better I haven't needed her much often I've been I'm happier I still miss her a ton but I would like a girls perspective on why a women who cheated hates that she loves the guy she cheated on and left she still says she is scared to date me she still choose him My first impression is she's just chaotic and not together. You can't make sense of nonsense. It would seem consistent if she's still tweaking you for an ego boost that she also pursues others and cheats for the ego boost. Ego validation is a big reason why a lot of men and women cheat. Underlying is probably bad self-esteem. This shouldn't be your problem anymore. Move on because she is never going to be right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 My first impression is she's just chaotic and not together. You can't make sense of nonsense. It would seem consistent if she's still tweaking you for an ego boost that she also pursues others and cheats for the ego boost. Ego validation is a big reason why a lot of men and women cheat. Underlying is probably bad self-esteem. This shouldn't be your problem anymore. Move on because she is never going to be right. U guys are right she does suffer from slot of things I tried everything I could I just don't understand why I don't know why I stayed for so long 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 My first impression is she's just chaotic and not together. You can't make sense of nonsense. It would seem consistent if she's still tweaking you for an ego boost that she also pursues others and cheats for the ego boost. Ego validation is a big reason why a lot of men and women cheat. Underlying is probably bad self-esteem. This shouldn't be your problem anymore. Move on because she is never going to be right. She always said she hated that she loved me so much and how I was so good to her then turn around and say the opposite no matter how many guys use her she never learns that I cared and didn't deserve to be taken for granted and throw away everytime her life is good or sumthing Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 It's not normal to her, which is sad. But if it's some problems from childhood and upbringing, you can't change those and they're hard to change even for a professional. there are many people we can love but not live or stay with in our lifetimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 It's not normal to her, which is sad. But if it's some problems from childhood and upbringing, you can't change those and they're hard to change even for a professional. there are many people we can love but not live or stay with in our lifetimes. U are right it was very hard to deal with great scars from her childhood as I to dealt with them I know she has alot that's wrong I pray for her I just have so many emotions running sad embarrassed lied too just alot I just wanna vent on Here to help me cope Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Okay, here's the deal and I'm going to make this as simple as possible. First, she was your girlfriend and she cheated on you. Second, she got pregnant by this other guy. Third, this stranger is going to be in her life for the rest of her life because they share a kid together. Fourth, she said so many vile things to you when you were at your most vulnerable. Rule of thumb? If a person shows you who they really are, believe them. So, why is she sniffing around and saying things like, she hates herself for "loving you" so much....this is BS. She's sniffing around because the other guy pretty much kicked her to the curb. He won't leave the OTHER woman he has kids with....So, she's trying to run back to what is safe (you). But, make no mistake, the first time he starts showing an interest in her again, your ass is kicked to the curb AGAIN! Or she'll hang around until another guy comes along that suits her fancy then you're gone. Look dude. You need to move on from her and this so called relationship. She made a choice to cheat on you, you didn't. She made a choice not to use protection with this guy, you didn't and she dropped you for someone else. Why try to stick around for someone that clearly doesn't want you. If she thinks that she made a mistake, well...that's a mistake she will have to live with because you don't have to. Time to move on dude. There are plenty of girls out there that know how to be true to their man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Okay, here's the deal and I'm going to make this as simple as possible. First, she was your girlfriend and she cheated on you. Second, she got pregnant by this other guy. Third, this stranger is going to be in her life for the rest of her life because they share a kid together. Fourth, she said so many vile things to you when you were at your most vulnerable. Rule of thumb? If a person shows you who they really are, believe them. So, why is she sniffing around and saying things like, she hates herself for "loving you" so much....this is BS. She's sniffing around because the other guy pretty much kicked her to the curb. He won't leave the OTHER woman he has kids with....So, she's trying to run back to what is safe (you). But, make no mistake, the first time he starts showing an interest in her again, your ass is kicked to the curb AGAIN! Or she'll hang around until another guy comes along that suits her fancy then you're gone. Look dude. You need to move on from her and this so called relationship. She made a choice to cheat on you, you didn't. She made a choice not to use protection with this guy, you didn't and she dropped you for someone else. Why try to stick around for someone that clearly doesn't want you. If she thinks that she made a mistake, well...that's a mistake she will have to live with because you don't have to. Time to move on dude. There are plenty of girls out there that know how to be true to their man. Well she had a miscarriage months ago but your right I need to move on completely she still wants me but at her own time and pace telling me wrong can't ever get together again because she is scared but wants to hang put aka kiss cuddle etc it trips me out that she would choose a cheater with a child over me makes me feel not good enough sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 Well she had a miscarriage months ago but your right I need to move on completely she still wants me but at her own time and pace telling me wrong can't ever get together again because she is scared but wants to hang put aka kiss cuddle etc it trips me out that she would choose a cheater with a child over me makes me feel not good enough sometimes Sorry dude. But, it still doesn't change the fact that she betrayed you and the relationship. She made a choice to intimate with someone that wasn't her boyfriend. That was her choice and that was her mistake. But, you don't have to live with her mistakes. Dude, there are plenty of girls out there that know how to stay true to the one they dedicate themselves to. A girl that wants to be with you because there's no other place in the world they would rather be. Right now, she only wants you there to talk to and cuddle with. Basically, you are that shoulder to lean on. Giving her emotional support and you get nothing in return. Hardly seems fair. Look dude, you deserve better and you know it. I know it hurts, I've been there. But, it's time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedjames Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 Sorry dude. But, it still doesn't change the fact that she betrayed you and the relationship. She made a choice to intimate with someone that wasn't her boyfriend. That was her choice and that was her mistake. But, you don't have to live with her mistakes. Dude, there are plenty of girls out there that know how to stay true to the one they dedicate themselves to. A girl that wants to be with you because there's no other place in the world they would rather be. Right now, she only wants you there to talk to and cuddle with. Basically, you are that shoulder to lean on. Giving her emotional support and you get nothing in return. Hardly seems fair. Look dude, you deserve better and you know it. I know it hurts, I've been there. But, it's time to move on. Your right I'm planning on Leaving her for good just I need To be mentally prepared to never go back no second thoughts till then I just rant here when I need help instead using anger I truly do deserve better being treated horrible on the basis makes me not believe it sometimes u knpw Link to post Share on other sites
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