Kasadity Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 (edited) Hello all, I need some advice or just opinions whatever. So January 2014 I was In a relationship w a guy named Sean, sean and I were cool things were moving along. I ended up realizing that I didn't like him as much as he liked me but I kept him around bc he was such a great person and I didn't want to have sex w someone else. In the meantime, I met another guy named Blake in June of 2014. blake and I hit it off immediately, but I realized that he was the player type. Blake and I started having sex at the end of July. Although I liked blake the most I always knew he was still seeing other women and having sex w them as well. I still wanted him for some reason but I kept Sean around. Eventually I cut Sean all the way off in august of 2014 and focused solely on blake. Blake and I were up and down a lot bc of his promiscuity. Long story short blake and I ended up having a baby in December of 2015. Just recently blake and I had an argument about my past relationship from years ago which then made him google my ex Sean. Blake went out this past weekend and ended up approaching Sean at a club. Sean told him that we last had Sex in September of 2014 and now blake is done w me. I'm not sure what to do bc Sean is lying but blake believes him since I was lying about Sean and I dating while blake and I were dating and being intimate. Someone tell me if I have a chance again? Edited March 21, 2017 by Kasadity Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 So let me see here... You and S were dating/screwing when you met B. So you were cheating on S with B and/or cheating on B with S, it's kind on how you want to look at it. But you really were cheating on both. S may not have been too happy when he got dumped and found out about B. Now, S lied and made it sound worse than it was to B, but you were still cheating on them both, right? Also, B is a player and probably still sleeping around on you. But he can't handle you having a little backup plan boy at the beginning of the relationship. Is all that about the size of it? Well, you could ask S to tell B the truth. Of course, when he does, B will really start to understand the you were screwing around on him. It kind of sounds like you got hit by the Karma Bus on this one. Unless you are honest with B and throw yourself on the mercy of the court, you may be out of luck on this one. Maybe it would be a good deal to be straight with people and avoid these types if situations... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Whether 1st BF remembers September or August that is not lying. Whatever 2nd BF claims now he conveniently forgets that he was banging others while doing you back then. You cheated on 1st BF You and 2nd BF were in an open relationship. Open for him that is. 2nd BF wants out now and is willing to ignore the whole story except the parts that justifies him dumping you. As a house and so with relationships when building on sand do not complain that the building falls down. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Wow what a mess but I agree with the first poster ! This is a mess and yup karma came back alive and kicking ! I hope Larry or moe have deep pockets because kids are expensive Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Hello all, I need some advice or just opinions whatever. So January 2014 I was In a relationship w a guy named Sean, sean and I were cool things were moving along. I ended up realizing that I didn't like him as much as he liked me but I kept him around bc he was such a great person and I didn't want to have sex w someone else. In the meantime, I met another guy named Blake in June of 2014. blake and I hit it off immediately, but I realized that he was the player type. Blake and I started having sex at the end of July. Although I liked blake the most I always knew he was still seeing other women and having sex w them as well. I still wanted him for some reason but I kept Sean around. Eventually I cut Sean all the way off in august of 2014 and focused solely on blake. Blake and I were up and down a lot bc of his promiscuity. Long story short blake and I ended up having a baby in December of 2015. Just recently blake and I had an argument about my past relationship from years ago which then made him google my ex Sean. Blake went out this past weekend and ended up approaching Sean at a club. Sean told him that we last had Sex in September of 2014 and now blake is done w me. I'm not sure what to do bc Sean is lying but blake believes him since I was lying about Sean and I dating while blake and I were dating and being intimate. Someone tell me if I have a chance again? You know, You cheated on the first guy, had a kid with the second, and then because of a fight your bf googles the first guy. I imagine a part of the story you left out is that after Blake googled him would it be fair to say they communicated before seeing each other in the club? And now Sean remembered you being a liar and a cheater in the first place and whether he intended to or not he threw a monkey wrench in your relationship with Blake. When you mess with people's emotions in the first place, it is only a matter of time before you are paid back in the same currency. And that bill is usually paid back to you at the most inopportune time, as you are finding out. You have a child now and your responsibility is to the child and being the best parent you can be first and foremost That being said, making really selfish decisions have a real nasty habit of having unforseen consequences, months even years later. You are getting a taste of that now. I feel sorry for your child... For you, not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kasadity Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 B and I were never in a committed relationship in the beginning of us dating, however I did cheat on S w B. I guess I was hoping for B to be more understanding seeing as how he was doing worse. B and I have a child now and he wants nothing to do w me bc he feels as if I'm trash for having sex w 2 guys at the same time. I guess the ship has sailed. I don't want to believe it bc we have a child and I was just wondering if anyone could see hope of the late or near future for us, but it doesn't seem as if you all do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kasadity Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 S and I were together, but things were dwindling slowly between us. B and I were never committed, he was messing around w a plethora of women. S did lie by I was hoping that B could understand me dating him in general based on the what he was doing but he thinks I'm trash bc S said I was sexing them both in the same month. Idk do you think he could ever get over that? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Hello all, I need some advice or just opinions whatever. So January 2014 I was In a relationship w a guy named Sean, sean and I were cool things were moving along. I ended up realizing that I didn't like him as much as he liked me but I kept him around bc he was such a great person and I didn't want to have sex w someone else. In the meantime, I met another guy named Blake in June of 2014. blake and I hit it off immediately, but I realized that he was the player type. Blake and I started having sex at the end of July. Although I liked blake the most I always knew he was still seeing other women and having sex w them as well. I still wanted him for some reason but I kept Sean around. Eventually I cut Sean all the way off in august of 2014 and focused solely on blake. Blake and I were up and down a lot bc of his promiscuity. Long story short blake and I ended up having a baby in December of 2015. Just recently blake and I had an argument about my past relationship from years ago which then made him google my ex Sean. Blake went out this past weekend and ended up approaching Sean at a club. Sean told him that we last had Sex in September of 2014 and now blake is done w me. I'm not sure what to do bc Sean is lying but blake believes him since I was lying about Sean and I dating while blake and I were dating and being intimate. Someone tell me if I have a chance again? Someone tell me if I have a chance again? - A chance at WHAT???!!!! A relationship with a guy who you knew was a player, had a baby with and he continued to cheat and then turned around and dumped you because he thought you cheated on him?!!!!! Paleeze, girl. Get a grip. Move on from both of them, focus on your baby and make him or her your priority. That is your primary responsibility now. Focus on making yourself a secure, independent woman who is a good mother and provider for her child. And, don't count on Blake to help support that child. You know WHO he is and certainly would not be a good father/role model for your baby. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kasadity Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 Lol yea I know I sound foolish but I honestly don't want to be with another man I wanted to have a family unit w him and our child. I am focused on being a great mother I don't think the 2 situations relate you know? My relationship w my child isn't contingent upon him. I guess I'm just hopeless, I wanted my child to have a 2 parent household I wanted my child to see her mother and father together. Happily Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 You cheated with the bad boy, had his baby but he didn't marry you. This is a case of what goes around comes back around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Lol yea I know I sound foolish but I honestly don't want to be with another man I wanted to have a family unit w him and our child. I am focused on being a great mother I don't think the 2 situations relate you know? My relationship w my child isn't contingent upon him. I guess I'm just hopeless, I wanted my child to have a 2 parent household I wanted my child to see her mother and father together. Happily I wanted my child to have a 2 parent household -- Given this guys attitude and behavior, you child is better off with one parent who can give him or her what he or she needs. And, it is extremely unlikely that if you two stayed together there would be a happy home environment for the child. Accept the reality of the situation. You made a very poor/irresponsible choice for yourself, don't let it be so for the child as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kasadity Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 Thanks folks I was hoping maybe someone would come w some optimism to give me hope... seems like I need to just let it go and move on.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 You know sweet heart... We could lie to you about it, but in the long run, what good would it do for you. Just hang in there and be a good mom. Try to pick a better level of man next time and you may not have these problems. Good luck... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) Thanks folks I was hoping maybe someone would come w some optimism to give me hope... seems like I need to just let it go and move on.... Look, You came here in hopes of someone blowing smoke up your dress telling you everything was going to be all right. If that is what you wanted, then I am sure if you pain shop you post around a few more subforums you'll get what you require. There are always people who will be more than happy to tell you what you WANT to hear. But what is painfully obvious by your post and your replies is that you just don't get it. The fact of the matter is that we are all responsible for the choices we make. Those choices have consequences. Both positive and negative. On the positive side of this is that you have a beautiful baby now that you will have with you for all the days of your life. THAT is all you should be focusing on. That and that alone. All of the the rest of it in truth maters very little. What did you expect exactly from us? What is occurring now is the sum total of the choices YOU made. Do you think that Sean gives one whit about whether or not you have a successful relationship with the guy you cheated on him with? No one worth their salt would tell you that it would just blow over and everything would go back to normal. You basically set yourself up for this to happen by playing games with 2 guys. Now you are reaping the poor rewards of your actions. I'm sorry, but if we were to lie to you and give you some kind of hope that this will all be wrapped up and it will be just a misunderstanding and all will be solved as the credits roll and people leave the theater, we would be doing you a terrible disservice. Look where lies have gotten you? to this point. So no, we won't lie to you. You need to go forward with your child as your number one priority. All the rest of it is a distant second. Edited March 22, 2017 by Space Ritual 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kasadity Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 I've actually only made a post on this site. I wasn't seeking anything less than honest opinions or testimonies of anyone who's taken someone back along w general opinions which is what I've received.. My child is my focus and making a post, or seeking out constructive criticism shouldnt reflect my general "focus" in life. It's very normal to have feelings or regret, remorse and hopefulness. I didn't say "please lie to me guys". So either way I appreciate all of the honest opinions. I know this is all my fault and should've been honest from the beginning. I was looking for opinions from strangers who had no investment in the situation. I think that's what this is utilized for by most.... Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Hey Kasadity, I'm glad your child is your focus, as it should be I think that what happened w/ Blake and Sean that resulted in Blake leaving is a blessing in disguise. He is not relationship or father material. The sooner he is a part of your past, the better. Continue to focus on being a mother and also getting to a place where you wouldn't ever CONSIDER dating a guy like Blake. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Thanks folks I was hoping maybe someone would come w some optimism to give me hope... seems like I need to just let it go and move on.... Yeah, you do. You need to go back and read your thread opener and really be objective. Your logical, objective self would kick you in the butt too, I think. I couldn't, in good conscience, support or encourage a woman to try to make a family with a guy like him. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 dear, Blake was intentionally looking for an "out" and he found it. It's quite possible he made it all up, but this is the direction he wants to go. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 S and I were together, but things were dwindling slowly between us. B and I were never committed, he was messing around w a plethora of women. S did lie by I was hoping that B could understand me dating him in general based on the what he was doing but he thinks I'm trash bc S said I was sexing them both in the same month. Idk do you think he could ever get over that? Can you understand that B is a player. Not was is. B was playing you. B got tired of you and found new playmates. So he tells you that you are a woman of no morals when he is lacking in morals himself, mostly likely lacking worse then you. In short B is a low life. You are pining for a low life cheater that thinks it is ok for him to multi date but not ok for his women to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kasadity Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 Very true. Thanks again everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
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