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GF cheated on me with a guy friend and still wants to hang out with him


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 16th February 2017, 7:14 AM   #1
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GF cheated on me with a guy friend and still wants to hang out with him

My girlfriend cheated on me with her friend, which I have accepted and am trying to move past because I really love her and want to move on with my life with her. I have been with her for nearly a year and this started a couple months after we got together (just found out after Christmas). Both of them confronted me and he basically forced her to tell me that they were doing it. We ended up making a deal which allows her to still hang out and stuff but only in public places, but I'm kind of regretting that decision because every time I think of her with him I get really paranoid and stressed that they will do it again. But no matter how much I tell her that it bothers me, she still wants to talk/hang out with him because he was there for her at a point in her life when she really needed someone and she feels that she owes him, and she is also afraid to break contact with him because he has threatened to beat me bloody if she stops talking to him. She assures me that the cheating won't happen again because she only wants me now. I want to salvage it if I can, but what do you all think I should do?
Thanks for any input.
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Old 16th February 2017, 7:18 AM   #2
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Let her hang out with him all she wants. Meanwhile you go off an get a different GF who isn't a cheater who has some sense.


She didn't even have the courtesy to tell you. The guy forced the disclosure. Why on earth did you agree to anything after that? This woman has zero integrity.


Stop being a doormat & walk away.
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Old 16th February 2017, 8:43 AM   #3
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Here's a solution in which no one gets beaten, no one will feel guilt for not hanging out with guy she owes for being there for her...

Dump her today!

From now on she can be there for him in return, she can do things because "she owes him", and she can prevent you from being beaten by the man who bought a possession on her whole future life by being there for her.

Of course you dump her not because of all this, but because she cheated and mainly because she considers your as (and maybe right) so extremely stupid to believe the lies and the crap she's feeding you. She's lying to you in the face and making no effort to at least invent a smarter lie for her desire to hanging out with him.

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Old 16th February 2017, 8:52 AM   #4
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Walk away now. Dude - this is an impossible situation to be in.
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Old 16th February 2017, 9:17 AM   #5
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Friend, if they cheat on you before you marry them they will cheat on you after you marry them. Why waste anymore time on a relationship that is already doomed for failure? This is as good as it gets with her, infidelity trumps trust, it's all downhill from here. Set her free to chase all the men she wants, she is just not good enough for you.
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Old 16th February 2017, 11:03 AM   #6
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Really??? Are you that desperate? Sorry but no one like her deserves a second chance...and to let her keep hanging out with the guy?? stop being a doormat, she's just using you for whatever. Have some self worth and dump her.
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Old 16th February 2017, 1:04 PM   #7
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What you should have done was thank the other guy for making her tell the truth and walked away entirely. Life is too short to worry with a woman like that. Never hurt yourself mentally, physically, or emotionally to stay with someone. Just not worth it.
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Old 16th February 2017, 1:27 PM   #8
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Get out now. It's been just a year??? That's all it took, less than a year to cheat on you???? Come on dude, now's the time to get out, you will pay dearly down the road if you don't. There is so much better to be had out there than this.
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Old 16th February 2017, 1:41 PM   #9
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We ended up making a deal which allows her to still hang out and stuff but only in public places
You can't be serious!!! just dump her already she doesn't love or give a damn about you. Fighting losing battle is pointless stop being a white knight and have some self respect.
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Old 16th February 2017, 3:08 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Mugami View Post
My girlfriend cheated on me with her friend, which I have accepted and am trying to move past because I really love her and want to move on with my life with her. I have been with her for nearly a year and this started a couple months after we got together (just found out after Christmas). Both of them confronted me and he basically forced her to tell me that they were doing it. We ended up making a deal which allows her to still hang out and stuff but only in public places, but I'm kind of regretting that decision because every time I think of her with him I get really paranoid and stressed that they will do it again. But no matter how much I tell her that it bothers me, she still wants to talk/hang out with him because he was there for her at a point in her life when she really needed someone and she feels that she owes him, and she is also afraid to break contact with him because he has threatened to beat me bloody if she stops talking to him. She assures me that the cheating won't happen again because she only wants me now. I want to salvage it if I can, but what do you all think I should do?
Thanks for any input.
Get yourself a new girlfriend. She is lying blue streak to you. One thing is a constant in these situations, and that is all cheaters are liars.

They are banging each other right under your nose. Pull your head out of the sand and dump her or you'll regret it.
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Old 16th February 2017, 4:27 PM   #11
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Your relationship is already over.

You can hang on until she dumps you for him, because that's what's going to happen, but I wouldn't recommend it.
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Old 16th February 2017, 6:55 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Mugami View Post
I have been with her for nearly a year and this started a couple months after we got together (just found out after Christmas). Both of them confronted me and he basically forced her to tell me that they were doing it. We ended up making a deal which allows her to still hang out and stuff but only in public places
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mugami View Post
he has threatened to beat me bloody if she stops talking to him.
So the other man (OM) did the following:

1) He forced her to tell you that they "were doing it" for most of your relationship with her, because he wanted you to know. He feels no remorse for it.
2) He got you to agree to allow him to continue seeing her, even though you did not want to. He has no respect for you and does not care what you think about it.
3) He threatened to beat you "bloody if she stops talking to him". In his mind you have no say so in this.

When it comes to your relationship with your girlfriend, he wants both you and your GF to know that he is in charge, and that he sets the rules. The fact that she is seeing someone that has threatened you with physical violence, is unacceptable. You need to have her end all contact with the OM or you will end all contact with her. If you are afraid to do this because of a fear of the OM, then just break if off with her and do not look back. Frankly, based on what you have told us about her, it just may not be worth fighting with the OM over her.
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Old 16th February 2017, 7:16 PM   #13
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So the other man (OM) did the following:

1) He forced her to tell you that they "were doing it" for most of your relationship with her, because he wanted you to know. He feels no remorse for it.
2) He got you to agree to allow him to continue seeing her, even though you did not want to. He has no respect for you and does not care what you think about it.
3) He threatened to beat you "bloody if she stops talking to him". In his mind you have no say so in this.

When it comes to your relationship with your girlfriend, he wants both you and your GF to know that he is in charge, and that he sets the rules. The fact that she is seeing someone that has threatened you with physical violence, is unacceptable. You need to have her end all contact with the OM or you will end all contact with her. If you are afraid to do this because of a fear of the OM, then just break if off with her and do not look back. Frankly, based on what you have told us about her, it just may not be worth fighting with the OM over her.
Am I the only one that thought that was most likely a lie his gf made up?

OP: as for how you can salvage this? I would say at this point you just can't. It was already foolish enough to continue dating her in the first place after you found all of this out. But now? Now you have already agreed to this ridiculous condition and she's just not going to take you seriously if you ever try to put your foot down and demand she stop talking to this other guy. It's over. And if you don't end it then she will once she's gotten whatever it is she's staying with you for.
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Old 16th February 2017, 7:20 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Mugami View Post
My girlfriend cheated on me with her friend, which I have accepted and am trying to move past because I really love her and want to move on with my life with her. I have been with her for nearly a year and this started a couple months after we got together (just found out after Christmas). Both of them confronted me and he basically forced her to tell me that they were doing it. We ended up making a deal which allows her to still hang out and stuff but only in public places, but I'm kind of regretting that decision because every time I think of her with him I get really paranoid and stressed that they will do it again. But no matter how much I tell her that it bothers me, she still wants to talk/hang out with him because he was there for her at a point in her life when she really needed someone and she feels that she owes him, and she is also afraid to break contact with him because he has threatened to beat me bloody if she stops talking to him. She assures me that the cheating won't happen again because she only wants me now. I want to salvage it if I can, but what do you all think I should do?
Thanks for any input.
get the away from her and start focusing on yourself. Heal then after healing get another woman who won't be as disrespectful no one deserves to be cheated on.
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Old 16th February 2017, 7:21 PM   #15
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Really??? Are you that desperate? Sorry but no one like her deserves a second chance...and to let her keep hanging out with the guy?? stop being a doormat, she's just using you for whatever. Have some self worth and dump her.
I agree with this
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