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I think my sister is sleeping with my ex


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 9th February 2017, 7:20 PM   #31
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It's really laughable that you call this a 'hissy fit over anyone my ex dates'... I have more than one ex, and their dating lives mean nothing to me.

If you don't live under a rock, dating your family's ex is a no no.

I'm definitely not advocating for your sister. I agree that it's not the right thing for her to be doing. But the point is that you don't have any good options if she's determined to hook up with him behind your back. You could raise a stink but it wouldn't give you a good outcome. I don't have the answer. I'm sorry, I know it's genuinely upsetting and I agree that she's in the wrong.
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Old 9th February 2017, 9:39 PM   #32
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You absolutely have a right to feel that way. If your sister has taken up with your ex, she is really betraying you. Plus she's stupid because she knows he wasn't great. And now they're probably talking about you, which is a big betrayal on her part.

If it were me, I'd start going out a lot and looking like I was having the time of my life. And I'd do it not only to make myself look like the total winner of the situation but also because having fun is the best way to get through hard times.

If she's done this, or even talking to him really, she has crossed the line. But trouble is you lose if you raise heck about it because then he thinks you're jealous, which is no doubt what he was hoping, to get under your skin. So the only way to win here is to act like you don't care, but not confide anything to her anymore, and then start living an enviable life and not be seen stewing about this. It's a bad situation with no great solution, but living well and keeping up appearances like that is best all around. Good luck.
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Old 10th February 2017, 12:43 PM   #33
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You absolutely have a right to feel that way. If your sister has taken up with your ex, she is really betraying you. Plus she's stupid because she knows he wasn't great. And now they're probably talking about you, which is a big betrayal on her part.

If it were me, I'd start going out a lot and looking like I was having the time of my life. And I'd do it not only to make myself look like the total winner of the situation but also because having fun is the best way to get through hard times.

If she's done this, or even talking to him really, she has crossed the line. But trouble is you lose if you raise heck about it because then he thinks you're jealous, which is no doubt what he was hoping, to get under your skin. So the only way to win here is to act like you don't care, but not confide anything to her anymore, and then start living an enviable life and not be seen stewing about this. It's a bad situation with no great solution, but living well and keeping up appearances like that is best all around. Good luck.
I agree with this, thank you.

The other night I caught her taking videos of me on her phone and what looked like sending them to someone via text... it's incredibly toxic.
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Old 10th February 2017, 2:14 PM   #34
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Every time you stress and stand there doing nothing while she continues with this, you are letting her win. Stop being a damn doormat, letting her wipe her feet on you. Confront her, stand you ground, and then cut her off. She doesn't deserve to be in the same room as you....and let her know that.
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Old 10th February 2017, 2:35 PM   #35
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Every time you stress and stand there doing nothing while she continues with this, you are letting her win. Stop being a damn doormat, letting her wipe her feet on you. Confront her, stand you ground, and then cut her off. She doesn't deserve to be in the same room as you....and let her know that.
As much as I agree with you, there's nothing I can do about it. I confronted her, to the point of exhaustion, and her and I never speak to each other.. she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about having a relationship with me, this stems from years of her trying to one up me. I believe she may have a mental disorder in all seriousness, perhaps even a psychopath.

You don't know what's happening, so don't jump to an idea that I'm acting like a doormat. The problem is, she doesn't care. She craves the anger from me, she wants the hatred and jealousy.

I agree with one of the previous posters, I need to just enjoy my life and keep her away from me. That's the only way I will win, and she'll get exhausted.
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Old 10th February 2017, 2:58 PM   #36
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Your sister might be a psychopath. Move out.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:13 PM   #37
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Your sister might be a psychopath. Move out.
My father just passed away which is why we're all in the same house now, to try and sell it. By summer we will all be going our seperate ways (yay)
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:42 PM   #38
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I'm sorry for your loss. I hope it sells quickly and until then, as you said, keep as much distance as possible.
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Old 10th February 2017, 5:01 PM   #39
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I agree with this, thank you.

The other night I caught her taking videos of me on her phone and what looked like sending them to someone via text... it's incredibly toxic.
Well, she is really asking for it. Now you'll have to often look like you're dressed up to go out on a date. But for sure, you should always have a smile on your face so she can't use them and say how mad you are. Once he's not getting anything out of this, no satisfaction of making you miserable and she realizes that's what he wants, then he'll be out of her life too, with any luck.

Don't bring guys home. If your parents ask why, tell them. But go out a lot and don't share anything with her about what you're doing. But be seen dressing up and going out. And block her from your social media, him too. And get off both of theirs.

I'm sorry. I know this is a bad situation. But don't feed into it by being miserable about it because she enjoys that and so does he. So the quicker they are convinced you don't give a rat's rear end, the faster they'll move on.
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Old 12th February 2017, 12:21 PM   #40
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If he's as ****ty as you say he is and you have no feelings towards him and your sister is as jealous, manipulative, and judgmental as you claim then why not let them have each other? Why even care?

Hell I don't even talk to my sister and I blocked her on facebook for good measure. Let her do her and let you do you. And just try to keep your lives as separate as possible. Maybe it's harder for some people but I've never had a problem keeping people out of my business and love life when I want to.
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Old 12th February 2017, 1:05 PM   #41
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As much as I agree with you, there's nothing I can do about it. I confronted her, to the point of exhaustion, and her and I never speak to each other.. she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about having a relationship with me, this stems from years of her trying to one up me. I believe she may have a mental disorder in all seriousness, perhaps even a psychopath.

You don't know what's happening, so don't jump to an idea that I'm acting like a doormat. The problem is, she doesn't care. She craves the anger from me, she wants the hatred and jealousy.

I agree with one of the previous posters, I need to just enjoy my life and keep her away from me. That's the only way I will win, and she'll get exhausted.
I was raised by a mother that suffered from mental illness so I know what it's like. It was abusive, confusing, and frustrating. Back then no one knew what depression or bi-polar was. What I have learned is you have to cut them out of your life. It might take years before you will able have a somewhat normal relationship with her. My mom didn't get a grip on her illness until I was in my mid 30's. She still has spells, and she will go back into that blaming, manipulation behavior. When that happens I let her have it, stomp it out.
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Old 12th February 2017, 1:06 PM   #42
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I was raised by a mother that suffered from mental illness so I know what it's like. It was abusive, confusing, and frustrating. Back then no one knew what depression or bi-polar was. What I have learned is you have to cut them out of your life. It might take years before you will able have a somewhat normal relationship with her. My mom didn't get a grip on her illness until I was in my mid 30's. She still has spells, and she will go back into that blaming, manipulation behavior. When that happens I let her have it, stomp it out.
Not to threadjack but same **** with my sister...

Especially the blameshifting and manipulation.
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Old 12th February 2017, 1:35 PM   #43
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Your sister may be mentally ill, but even then, people can have ethics, unless they're narcissistic. I have a friend who is diagnosed narcissistic. She has to win everyone and be the center of attention, even if it means trying it with her friends' dates. But I have had a bipolar friend who would never have done what your sister did.

The person who did it to me wasn't mentally ill at all. She was just jealous and covetous, which I didn't realize until it was too late. I had come home one day and she was trying on my shoes and clothes, but I'd known her too long for that to send up a red flag. Later, after I kicked her out, I discovered one of my vintage suits went missing. When I had finally confronted her to talk about it and kick her out, she admitted she was envious of me. She was literally trying to wear my shoes.
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