Originally Posted by ElizabethIII
My friend has caught her husband cheating. He doesn't yet know she knows.
She is contemplating whether to tell the other woman's husband.
I am staying out as nothing to do with me.
Do you generally tell the other innocent party or just leave well alone?
Yes you tell the other person their wife is betraying them. Hell yes.
If the situation was reversed would you want to know or would you prefer to be blissfully ignorant? And people who knew and didn't speak up laughing and making jokes about what a doofus you were? Would you like that?
That's exactly what I experienced because I didn't know. I'd have given anything to have known beforehand...anything. My life today would be totally different.
She needs to tell the guy and she does not need to inform her husband she is doing it. Because any advance warning will give the cheaters a heads up to get their stories straight and for all your friend knows the husband will be warned by his wife that some crazy woman is going to be contacting him with some wild accusations. Then she won't be believed and they will just take the affair underground.
Affairs are like cockroaches. The only way to get them to scatter is to expose them to light.
Withholding such information from another innocent person is being complicit in the affair. This guy deserves to know exactly who he is married to so he can make decisions about the direction of his own life with accurate information instead of living it based on a lie.
Had I had advance knowledge of what was going on behind my back I probably would have done something much less drastic than what I did when I walked in on my fiance and my friend in my bed.
I would have been able to call off the wedding and leave my fiance instead of walking in on her and my best effing friend banging away in my bed in my house.
And friends of mine knew what was going on and never told me. I waited 4 years to confront one of them too. Just when he thought I'd never find out. Sadly for him, he was wrong. He was taking liquid meals out of a straw for an extended period of time.
I'd have been upset, but I would have done things a lot differently had I actually known beforehand. It would have given me time to actually think and not act out.
This guy deserves the same courtesy so he can make decisions about his own life and future