Hi everyone, (skip the background part if too long)
BACKGROUND (SKIP IF TOO LONG):
Been seeing someone for a while now... we are exclusive... etc. We have had a few bumps along the road, but things have been relatively smooth especially of late.
However, intimacy has decreased between us as a result of me finding out that he was "checking out" random women on facebook, and was on a sex meetup site (though not exchanging messages with anyone, just using it for more real-life porn -- I saw his account without his knowledge so I know that for a fact).
I was fine with the intimacy being a bit less than before, and thought we could get it rekindled at some point down the line (though I was a bit worried admittedly about my inability to "feel it" anymore in terms of chemistry). I love this man in a deep way, and I can't imagine him out of my life, and now that I think back on my previous relationships, I don't think they have been on this level.. I don't think I've cared this much about anyone.
I am dating someone that I deeply care for and we've had our share of problems.... but things are OK now... but I feel like I cheated on him (emotionally).
The other day, while putting up an advert for my apartment that I am seeking to get rented out, someone took interest in my advert and started sending me messages on facebook inquiring about it. Ultimately, he was not interested but asked for advice on moving to my city and renting here. I told him I could add him on a certain huge but hidden group on FB where there are more adverts. But to do so, I have to add you on FB (can't add non-friends). He said yeah sure you can add me on FB to add me to the group, and if you find out you don't like me, you can just delete me again. A bit flirty/jokingly, but he wasn't coming on to me much. And I honestly just wanted to add him to the group.. but then things took another turn, as I added him and as he started to message me and I responded... we got to the point of asking each other what we did in life, and now, we are at favorite movies... So far, that's all there is to it.
All this snowballed so fast... I just feel out of control right now and that I can't take a step back. I also feel guilty, I feel that I am cheating on my BF. I can only imagine how I would've felt like if he were to do a similar thing (though he has female friends on FB, I don't think he does that ).
Anyway, I just need input from people who might have experienced this themselves, I guess I do need to do some introspection and ask myself why I went there and did what I did. But for those who went through the same thing, how did you cope with feelings of guilt? What did you think was the reason for doing what you did? And did you come clean to your partner and with what consequences?
I am worried that he will be livid if I told him...
For the record, no I do not want to meet this guy in person, or pursue it any further online, he does not interest me at all. But it felt nice to feel the same emotions that I felt (giddiness about a new message, him asking about what I like, etc.) when I first met my BF.