Originally Posted by castleintheclouds
How is this okay? What do you think? I haven't said anything. Am I overreacting? What do I do? I am a survivor of abuse it's important to me my relationship is honest and monogamous. Is this abusive? Is this cheating? Do you think he will change? Should I leave? Thank you so much to anyone who replies.
Everyone has a slightly different definition of cheating. based on what you have written, then I am guessing that YOU consider it cheating.
That is what matters. If you consider it cheating, then it is cheating. If it takes away from the marital intimacy, then it is cheating. If it adds to it and you are okay with it,then it is not.
It does NOT matter what anyone else thinks.
Would I call it abusive? No, but you may. Would I leave someone for it? Probably not, but then you have dealt with a porn addiction too so this may be the last straw. IMO it is simply a continuation of the same addiction, and I do think he takes it too far.
More detail. Some added to help you understand the attraction.
As for ASMR, I have listened to many of them because supposedly it relaxes, excites, or whatever to some who listen to them.
It did nothing for me. No amount of whispering or scratching or licking made me feel anything except maybe irritated. Even the sexy talk gave me minimal excitement simply because I couldn't get caught up in the fantasy of it.
He must feel something, and being that he is listening to alot of it, then it has become audio porn. Some guys and women say that it sends chills through them, or (guys) turns them on. I have heard of some guys actually getting off by them without touching themselves. Seriously. Simply by listening. My guess is that this applies only to the young fellers who can get off from looking at the right picture.
There are also erotic hypnosis videos. The first couple of times they gave me some thrills, but then they made me fall asleep but nothing more. And also to educate you, there are binaural beats that actually can affect more people. Some do excite or relax or more. I remember my wife asking me about one, but that one did nothing. Later I listened to a different one and it did.