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Differing Reasons that Men and Women Cheat


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I was discussing this with my girlfriend and it really got me thinking.

 

Most people agree that testosterone is the main driver is sexual desire, for both men and women. And men on average have 10x the amount of testosterone as women, and therefore desire sex more than women. Also, evolutionary psychologists have long held that sperm is cheap therefore men should be more promiscuous than women. Which, from a biological perspective, suggest that when it comes to cheating, men should cheat substantially more than women.

 

However, statistics just don't support this conclusion. Men and women cheat at approximately the same levels. So why this disconnect?

 

My theory is that there is collective idea that men are more prone to cheating than women. Most women think they are not susceptible to it. And therefore, men that desire to be monogamous create self imposed boundaries that protect themselves from cheating. Whereas women, do not feel they are naturally prone to cheating, so don't create the same strict boundaries for themselves, which puts them into compromising situations, where they cheat.

 

And that accounts for the equal amounts of cheating between men and women, even though from both a biological and evolutionary view, men should cheat more.

 

Thoughts?

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I was discussing this with my girlfriend and it really got me thinking.

 

Most people agree that testosterone is the main driver is sexual desire, for both men and women. And men on average have 10x the amount of testosterone as women, and therefore desire sex more than women. Also, evolutionary psychologists have long held that sperm is cheap therefore men should be more promiscuous than women. Which, from a biological perspective, suggest that when it comes to cheating, men should cheat substantially more than women.

 

However, statistics just don't support this conclusion. Men and women cheat at approximately the same levels. So why this disconnect?

 

My theory is that there is collective idea that men are more prone to cheating than women. Most women think they are not susceptible to it. And therefore, men that desire to be monogamous create self imposed boundaries that protect themselves from cheating. Whereas women, do not feel they are naturally prone to cheating, so don't create the same strict boundaries for themselves, which puts them into compromising situations, where they cheat.

 

And that accounts for the equal amounts of cheating between men and women, even though from both a biological and evolutionary view, men should cheat more.

 

Thoughts?

 

A more interesting question is which cheats first. If the perception is that men cheat more often, could it be that men cheat first, then, feeling betrayed, emotionally isolated, women do?

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Why do people ask for or pass answers on a test? Why do people memorize the eye chart at the DMV to game the vision test? Why do people flirt with others while in relationships?

 

Because it benefits them.

 

It's the same with cheating on one's spouse or partner. If there was no benefit to the id, nothing would happen. At our core, we're all selfish, self-involved and motivated by our own wants and desires. Fortunately, we're also socialized and contained by the group's pressure and rules of conformity. Some bow to pressure and conform more than others.

 

Think back to when one was a wanton and hormonal teenager with an immature brain. It was a free-for-all :D Why be disciplined and mature when everyone else is having all the fun, right? Lie, cheat, steal, exciting times. Of course few people would ever admit that later on after they developed their 'mature' boundaries for living.

 

IME, men and women pretty much lie, cheat and steal for the same reasons, to benefit themselves. No gender IMO holds high ground. To the extent men believe women to be nicer, gentler, more honest, whatever, we just blow our own brains out, all at the altar of sex. Interesting world.

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I think carhill and smackie9 are both correct. Basically, both men and women cheat because it benefits them. Whether one or the other cheats because of incompatible sex drive, loss of attraction, etc. The person cheats because of a perceived or anticipated benefit.

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