banana1 Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 This morning my boyfriend of a year and a half called me in tears from Madrid where he was studying abroad. He told me he had woken up in a girls bed and doesn't remember a thing from the night before. He was heavily drinking and took some form on Xanax as well so I don't doubt that he blacked out. Also, what is strange is that we were texting when he was with this girl, but doesn't remember the girl or texting me. He figured it out when he looked at his Uber receipts and compared it to the times we were texting. That part of the story is kind of sketchy. We've talked all day and he keeps writing me paragraphs about how much he loves me and how he f-ed up big time. We've FaceTimed a couple times too because he wanted to talk to me face-to-face and every time he is so distraught and is in constant tears because he says I'm the love of his life and can't imagine his life without me. He called both of his parents in tears during the day because he didn't know how to deal with the situation, which I was definitely impressed by because I only involve my parents in things that are really important. I was planning to visit him abroad in February and already booked my flight, so his parents told him to wait until I got there to tell me, but he said couldn't keep a secret from me for that long because he cares about me too much and it wouldn't be fair (he def made the right choice because it would have been even worse to fly all the way there and find out). He keeps telling me he's re-reading a note that I wrote him on our one year and crying because it's the nicest thing anyone had ever wrote him and he reads it whenever he misses me. He also says he went through all of our pictures together and cries because we were so happy in them and he just wants that for the rest of his life. I really do love this kid so much, but I definitely can't take him back right away, or maybe even not at all. I'm really conflicted about what to do because I see my whole life with him but I don't know if I can look at him the same. And should I still go visit him because my flight is already booked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author banana1 Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Also all the other times he's gone out abroad so far, he always tells me that he calls all the girls so ugly and has no desire to get with any of them and always brags to them about how hot I am, so was it just a blackout slip up? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 That part of the story is kind of sketchy.. No sweetie, his ENTIRE story is far beyond sketchy. If you believe any of his memory loss may I show you some nice oceanfront property in Kansas? He knew exactly what he was doing. Continue the relationship at your own peril. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yeah, but why would he tell you if it was a lie? That would be the dumbest lie of all time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author banana1 Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yeah, but why would he tell you if it was a lie? That would be the dumbest lie of all time. If what was a lie? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 He is trying to make you feel sorry for him by playing the "I was a victim of circumstance" and "Oh look at me I'm so heart broken, I cry when I read your note, blah blah blah. Don't fall for it. If you forgive him all you are doing is letting him get away with it. he's away, he's young and horny....it was bound to happen eventually. End it and give yourself some distance/time from him. Maybe down the road you two can reconcile, but don't make that decision now....your feelings are a little raw. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Dump him.. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 He knows exactly what he did...and he thinks you will find out, so he is doing damage control beyond belief. If he can't handle alcohol and xanex, he should not be taking them. He has made his own bed here.. I would dump him. Use the ticket to go on vacation... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 He woke up in a girl's bed but he doesn't remember the girl? How does that work? Where was she when he woke up in her bed? You see where I am going with this? You are being fed some major malarkey, OP. He's doing damage control in case you found out somehow. Tell him to go stuff himself. And to get himself a full STI/HIV test. Link to post Share on other sites
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