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My GF has eyes for another man


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 11th January 2017, 3:19 PM   #16
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OP, what are really the odds that you can talk to your family into accepting her?

If they haven't accepted her after 5 years, what makes you believe they will now?

You have a choice to make, and you need to make it damn soon. She's apparently already looking elsewhere.
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Old 11th January 2017, 4:11 PM   #17
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What ever you decide, I advice you to decide today, and let her know your decision.
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Old 11th January 2017, 4:48 PM   #18
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A woman wants a strong partner who not only has her back but is also her protector and able to provide.

My over riding feeling is if you wanted to marry her you would have done it, she knows it, you know it.

Not only is the traumatic event in her life haunting her but its also staining her standing with your folks, even if you did marry it will be difficult to ever bridge that gap.

She seems to be exploring her options because this relationship might be at a dead end.

Only she knows if she cheated but she doesnt see you backing up your love with commitment and you know dudes will be queuing up..
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Old 11th January 2017, 6:56 PM   #19
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Something to think about:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ettienne View Post
So what, I'm supposed to propose and see what she says? You think even if she isn't cheating the relationship is doomed anyway because I waited too long. This morning I was going through her internet history and there were searching for things like "5 years no proposal". To me that says she still wants it, but is concerned it won't happen.

My family doesn't want to accept her, she knows it and I know it. That wasn't an automatic deal breaker. Many people marry someone their parents don't like. It shouldn't be an automatic disqualification, unless the parents have a good reason. Mine don't, at least not to me.

She was a bit unsure about my family disliking her because she wants a close family. They liked her before we got together. They like her as a person, not as my girlfriend or wife.

My family knows she was raped because we were both being treated for PTSD at the same hospital, at the same time. I was older than her and farther along than she was. I frequently talked to her and helped her, my parents met her there when they would go with me. My mom has also seen the brand mark that my GF has burned into her skin.

My family knows that I want to propose and stand by their decision not to support it. My GF is aware of that and she also knows it is holding me back. I don't want to completely walk away from my family and neither of us want the stress of dealing with unsupportive family. I have been trying to get my family on board with the decision.


When a MAN proposes to a woman, "he shall leave the family and cling to his wife". I think if you're really wanting to marry this girl, you should do so and let your family accept it or not. This is what men do.
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Old 11th January 2017, 7:02 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ettienne View Post
My family knows that I want to propose and stand by their decision not to support it. My GF is aware of that and she also knows it is holding me back. I don't want to completely walk away from my family and neither of us want the stress of dealing with unsupportive family. I have been trying to get my family on board with the decision.
So your GF knows that her being raped, and your family's view of her because of this, is holding you back because you do not want to "walk away" from you family for her. That right there tells me that if she was my daughter I would strongly be telling her not to marry you, because at the end of the day you do not have her back.

At the end of the day, you are just not good marriage material. I wish her luck in finding someone else that will always be there for her without question. If this other guy turns out to be that person, good for her. Until then, I would advise her to break up with you ASAP as she needs to begin any new relationship without the baggage of cheating.
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Old 12th January 2017, 5:16 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by ettienne View Post
So what, I'm supposed to propose and see what she says? You think even if she isn't cheating the relationship is doomed anyway because I waited too long.
No, I don't think you should just propose. At this point, you'd be proposing to 'keep her'. This is not a good reason to propose. One of my friends did this and it did not end well. You should propose because you want to marry her and spend your life building a life with her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ettienne View Post
My family knows that I want to propose and stand by their decision not to support it. My GF is aware of that and she also knows it is holding me back. I don't want to completely walk away from my family and neither of us want the stress of dealing with unsupportive family. I have been trying to get my family on board with the decision.
And where has this got you? You aren't going to change their mind. Right or wrong, this is what they have decided. What you have to decide is what you are going to do about it. Are you going to walk away from someone you want to marry because your parents don't approve or are you going to stand by your woman and show them you think she's worth it? It doesn't sound like your parents will disown you (although I don't know) but your time is up. You don't have time to convince them anymore. The longer this goes on, the more you are showing your gf that your parents opinion means more than your life with her. She knows this is why you aren't proposing. Not only did this truly horrible thing happen to her, it's continuing to affect her life. Poor girl.

Time to make up your mind.
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