Originally Posted by Blueplate
All three are about 30 years old. The couple had been together for 8 years, then got married and are almost at the 2 year mark. No kids involved.
My friend and the woman started as friends then gradually became more intimate. Now they are both passionate about each other and have had lots of sex. At one point my friend stopped seeing her and tried a different girl out but said he couldn't do it because it felt like cheating and it also made the married chick sick and she lost weight.
My friend wants the married girl to leave her husband and date him instead. The husband has been described as a "nice guy" who worships the ground she walks on. Shes not attracted to him while my friend is in the picture but she likes her husband's devotion and love and niceness.
So Im trying to figure out what to tell my friend. Should I just stay out of it? I have a text prepared that reads: "I've thought a bit more about your situation. You are participating in an arrangement that is not sustainable. The longer it goes on the more screwed up its going to get. And currently there's only one person out of the three of you getting exactly what they want, and that's her. In my humble opinion 1 year is more than enough time for her to make a decision. I feel like she's playing you."
Any advice would be great.
Then you should let him know that unless he cuts off the relationship in 24 hours that you yourself will be informing this woman's husband yourself.
Because your knowledge of what is going on makes you complicit in it.
Even if it is Second Hand Knowledge, it is still knowledge that someone drastically needs
Ignorance of one or more of the principals involved is not an excuse.
There were a lot of us here who were victims of infidelity that could have really benefited from someone who had knowledge of things we didn't. myself being one of them.
Especially if there are no Children involved.....ESPECIALLY!
How would you feel if this chick ended up getting pregnant out of the blue and this poor bastard had to go through nine months of thinking it was his only to find out it was your friends's
What if the roles were reversed and it was happening to YOU without YOUR knowledge?
Wouldn't you want to know so you could actually make a decision about the direction of your own life?
I am sure there will be others who come along and say to stay out of it. but you are already in it, because you know. You are preparing to draft a message to yoru friend.
If you are only going to address it to him, let him know that he is not unique and this really is all about this woman, as she would have had an affair with anyone. He isn't that special and they are not soulmates. He may also find out that husband is really not as nice as this woman makes him out to be.
I used to be a nice guy. I had it happen to me, I got the added bonus of walking in on the act in my own house.
Wanna know if I was very nice at that point?
You know what to do. Your conscience is bothering you...and that is a good thing. It shows you actually have one.
So follow it and spare some poor sap a lifetime of needless pain.