ex digger Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 by accident I was fortunate or not so fortunate to over hear a phone conversation my wife had with my younger brother where she proceedes to hang off his every word and he is making out like he is some kind of sophisticated man of the world. Both are drinking and the call lasts for nearly three hours in which time I discover that this is not the first time tey have called each other to have discussions about my PTSD. What is awkward is the fact that after already catching my wife out talking behind my back in a bad way she continues to do so a little with my brother and during the whole call my brother feels that he has to make mention of his penis to her no less than 6 times. It even sounds at one stage as if he is trying to get her to think about as because she even says to him that no she is not thinking of penis. I find this rather distasteful considering he knows that not so long ago I caught her out on a ONS. When I spoke with him over the ph he got the ****s with me and said I was carrying on about nothing as he didn't think it was inappropriate and hung up on me, when I spoke to my wife she said the same thing. I feel like I am missing something here, although the next time I see my little brother I know I will not miss his chin, but he will be missing some teeth. Can anybody shed some light onto what they think of this bull**** I have to put up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 by accident I was fortunate or not so fortunate to over hear a phone conversation my wife had with my younger brother where she proceedes to hang off his every word and he is making out like he is some kind of sophisticated man of the world. Both are drinking and the call lasts for nearly three hours in which time I discover that this is not the first time tey have called each other to have discussions about my PTSD. What is awkward is the fact that after already catching my wife out talking behind my back in a bad way she continues to do so a little with my brother and during the whole call my brother feels that he has to make mention of his penis to her no less than 6 times. It even sounds at one stage as if he is trying to get her to think about as because she even says to him that no she is not thinking of penis. I find this rather distasteful considering he knows that not so long ago I caught her out on a ONS. When I spoke with him over the ph he got the ****s with me and said I was carrying on about nothing as he didn't think it was inappropriate and hung up on me, when I spoke to my wife she said the same thing. I feel like I am missing something here, although the next time I see my little brother I know I will not miss his chin, but he will be missing some teeth. Can anybody shed some light onto what they think of this bull**** I have to put up with. What you have here is he beginning of an emotional affair between your wife and your brother at the very least.. The possibility of a double betrayal in this instance is pretty high. You said you caught your wife in an ONS. What has she done to rebuild trust with you? What consequences have you shown her for her actions. Obviously her actions are indicative of a spouse who has checked out of the marriage. You must be willing to lose your marriage in order to save it. I would not be surprised if they have been physically intimate. thats beside the point though Check your phone bill at the very least. One way of showing your wife yo mean business is showing her consequences for her actions. I would see a solicitor and find out what your options are. You seem like a nice guy. I was one once too. Then I got sick and tired of being taken advantage of and I wised up. The axiom of "Nice guys finish last" is true. In the meantime read "No More Mr. Nice Guy". It s available in PDF form and you can google it and read it for free. It may do you wonders. Stop being that nice guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 (edited) While your little brother is in the wrong, your WIFE is ten times more in the wrong. How blatantly disrespectful of you. I would focus the confronting on her first, then I would confront him. As a wife, her fidelity, support, and loyalty are pitiful. You two should find a GOOD couples counselor, and see if she can come to her senses. If not, you know what you need to do. Your little opportunistic brother, I'd sideline IMMEDIATELY. Edited November 14, 2016 by morrowrd is Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 You two should find a GOOD couples counselor, and see if she can come to her senses. If not, you know what you need to do. Your little opportunistic brother, I'd sideline IMMEDIATELY. It has descended far past the point of a marriage counselor. His wife has not only checked out of this marriage, but has gone out of her way to add insult to the initial injury of a one night stand. Marriage counseling is only for those who seek to actually improve and work on a marriage. Remorseless and vindictive spouses such as OP's wife will only understand actual and concrete consequences. She already views OP as a bit of a wussy, otherwise she would not be so out in the open with her at best emotional affair. If anything the OP needs to get some counseling himself so he won't have people walking all over him for the rest of his life. At this rate, that is exactly what will happen. OP, go grab your stones out of that Lock box this gash of a wife has them stored in and Act. Marriage or couples counseling would be a waste of time and money in this instance. Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 (edited) <It has descended far past the point of a marriage counselor. His wife has not only checked out of this marriage, but has gone out of her way to add insult to the initial injury of a one night stand.> I do agree, once respect is lost, it's lost. I suggested that mainly because "digger" is a doormat and doesn't appear able to stand up for himself. A mediator sometimes can be a little nudge because marriage counseling isn't always about preserving the relationship. If I were counseling both of them for instance, I would ask him questions such as "why are you tolerating such disrespectful behavior." I would ask his wife why she's still staying in a relationship with someone she has no respect for. I have known people in bad marriages, full of disrespect and resentment, staying in the situation sort of waiting for the other person to make a move. A good counselor can sometimes facilitate that. In like manner, I have seen at least one marriage in my lifetime turned around, when it seemed like it was over. Cheating is usually an end all, but not always. Edited November 15, 2016 by morrowrd Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 They are having an affair....it's right in front of your face. Since you have confronted them both about their behavior and got nowhere....it might be time to look into find yourself a lawyer. By the sounds of it, your wife doesn't want to work with you on your issues with PTSD, and would rather use your brother an an escape. Maybe this is a sign that she has given up and can't cope. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Just a word of warning - you're not at liberty to assault your brother for flirting w your wife. If you try to use that as a defense before a judge, they'll have zero sympathy, being big fans of law and order and all that, and they'll prob send you straight to jail to drive home the point. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 by accident I was fortunate or not so fortunate to over hear a phone conversation my wife had with my younger brother where she proceedes to hang off his every word and he is making out like he is some kind of sophisticated man of the world. Both are drinking and the call lasts for nearly three hours in which time I discover that this is not the first time tey have called each other to have discussions about my PTSD. What is awkward is the fact that after already catching my wife out talking behind my back in a bad way she continues to do so a little with my brother and during the whole call my brother feels that he has to make mention of his penis to her no less than 6 times. It even sounds at one stage as if he is trying to get her to think about as because she even says to him that no she is not thinking of penis. I find this rather distasteful considering he knows that not so long ago I caught her out on a ONS. When I spoke with him over the ph he got the ****s with me and said I was carrying on about nothing as he didn't think it was inappropriate and hung up on me, when I spoke to my wife she said the same thing. I feel like I am missing something here, although the next time I see my little brother I know I will not miss his chin, but he will be missing some teeth. Can anybody shed some light onto what they think of this bull**** I have to put up with. I would kick right out of the house and head for divorce. No effin way would I ever put up with this. What are you doing putting up with this nonsense? Link to post Share on other sites
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