MrBossMan Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 (edited) Hey, guys. I'll try to keep this short and organized. Here are the facts about my girlfriend: Overly close to female friend. I mean it almost seems like they're in love, saying things like, "I love that you love me so much" and "I wish I was laying with you in bed right now" (YES, this is actual stuff they text without knowing I would have seen it... and it's constant and not in a joking manner). She's way more loving with this friend than with me. Her friend lives closer than she used to now, but before, my GF used to travel to this friend's house almost every week who lived at least 2 hours away and spend the night or the weekend. We're not teenagers. This one freaked me out: I once saw some of her messages to the same female friend. She flirts a bit with my GF and apologizes. GF tells her not to because they want to go to heaven. Seems like a serious exchange. I went on a trip with both of them and when me and my GF were kind of getting lovey dovey, her friend became very angry and stormed off and it took us a half hour to find her. Afterwards, she promised her friend that they would take a trip alone next time. GF told me that she has had dreams about lesbian sex and wanted to know how I felt about it. She also told me she has crushes on female celebrities. GF seems very loving and gracious toward women in general, but has often expressed a bit of disdain toward men. So let me know what your thoughts are. Thank you! Edited November 13, 2016 by MrBossMan Link to post Share on other sites
l8estnews Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 If everything you said weren't exaggerated, then unfortunately for you my friend, they are definitely screwing around. Change the female friend with a Guy's name, and read it again yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 I'm not going to say that they are definitely screwing around. But they WANT TO. The whole thing about heaven is classic religious dogma pushing people to reject their instinctive choices because of what God wants. She may well be gay, but without permission, she's not acknowledging it. I don't know what to tell you. Though I'd be telling her to find a progressive church where she can work through her feelings. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrBossMan Posted November 13, 2016 Author Share Posted November 13, 2016 (edited) **UPDATE I'm still reading some of the stuff and they talk about "making changes" and not "slipping up" or "batting for the enemy." Then says, "you know what I mean, right?" Then they say they'll soon have to make some kind of covenant "because their salvation is worth so much more than this." Before the trip, she opens up about her "feelings" and says she feels angry and jealous and doesn't want to take my GF away from me. She says her heart is breaking. She was single and my GF had her texting guys that she found interesting, but in this text exchange she says that she needs to stop doing things to take her mind off of it like texting guys for a while and get right with God. How did I not notice this? Edited November 13, 2016 by MrBossMan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Have you ever heard the say, "Love is blind"? Often times we choose to see what we want to see and our thoughts and emotions color our views regardless of the writing on the wall. With the limited amount of information you have shared, my initial impression is that your gf and her friend love each other and it isn't strictly platonic. An emotional relationship is definite and a physical relationship is likely. Otherwise, there would be no need to make changes, form a covenant to prevent a slip-up, and her comment about batting for the other team is quite obvious and self-explanatory. These women are in love. Because of their religious beliefs, they are wrestling with inner demons. They can publicly deny their attraction, they can put forth a good effort to live traditional lifestyles, but at the end of the day, their feelings for each other aren't going away simply because they will them to not exist. That doesn't mean they'll continue to act on those feelings, but that will not eliminate them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 This is heart breaking all around. What's the male equivalent of a "beard?" A veil? What ever it's is you're it OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Yes you're GF's def bisexual, but many women are so I wouldn't exactly be shocked by that. Two questions - what's up w the religion thing (sounds kinda extreme-ish) and why are you reading your GF's texts on the sly? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 If you all agreed to a monogamous relationship then this is a breach of that boundary. You have enough information to make the call. No need to collect anymore. Execute. Take the lesbian/bi-sexual stuff completely out of the picture. And, yes I do know some women like this who are married and have side relations with women. It's not unheard of. Probably more common than apparent because women are generally allowed more intimate relationships by society than men are. It's normal. Look around and you'll see. However, in your case, all that matters is your relationship. What others do is irrelevant. If this doesn't work for you, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Looks like a love triangle.... and your GF is at the center of it. Even if no sex is involved this is definitely an emotional affair with a lot of confused feelings. I agree with Methodical, religious beliefs are making them struggle with this. I say she is dating you as a front, to veil their sexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeSmith357-1 Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Well, here's the thing... Your GF is definitely bisexual. She's also banging, or getting banged, or whatever lesbians call it, having sex with this girl Some advice... 1. Your relationship is over, you are done 2. If you want, confront her, play it off for a possible 3-some. You might find it hot 3. After all that, no matter which way it plays, break up with her This relationship has no future if you are not OK with your GF being emotionally and sexually involved with someone else The sex of that person do not matter. If it was a guy this would not even be a question. Since it's a girl, you are asking if it matters. To me, it wouldnt... So go have your 3-some, make sure you lay the wood to the other girl in the process, then break up with her and find someone else Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 I don't know Joe... I mean if it bothers him, ok he should break up, I get that. But if she wants a GF and it makes her happy, frankly I am cool with that. As long as I get the same privilege but since I am not Bi I would have to be allowed to have a girl friend as well. The religious stuff needs to go IMHO. She needs to be who she is. But, if it bothers him, then yeah he should break up... Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 It doesn't really matter if she is bisexual or not. You just need to deal with this situation the same way you would deal with it if this was a guy friend. You definitely should have a talk with her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JoeSmith357-1 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 I don't know Joe... I mean if it bothers him, ok he should break up, I get that. Obviously it bothers him or he would not have taken the time/effort to post here But if she wants a GF and it makes her happy, frankly I am cool with that. But she's being deceitful. And straight/bi/gay whatever, it's wrong, cheating, bad As long as I get the same privilege but since I am not Bi I would have to be allowed to have a girl friend as well. That probably would not fly. Rarely does. They don't have an open relationship. It's a cheating situation where his GF is not just in the closet, but having an affair/relationship behind her boyfriends back The religious stuff needs to go IMHO. She needs to be who she is. Not sure who this is directed at, I could care less about religion and do not see how it comes into play here But, if it bothers him, then yeah he should break up... Probably for the best... BUT... he needs to at least try to get that lesbian 3-some action first! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 But, if it bothers him, then yeah he should break up... And if he goes that route, break up specifically, don't try to order her not to have a GF. You can't stop that train once it starts anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Herbalist Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 Are you more freaked out by her being bisexual than you are about the fact that she is either cheating on you or right on the verge of doing so? Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 It doesn't sound like she's bi, it sounds like her and her gf are completely lesbians and only fight it because they believe it's wrong in a biblical sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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