What's she trying to say?

[mrnella]

I made the mistake of having an affair about 8 years ago. I'm not proud of it. I understand what people here mean when they say, "dont do it - you'll regret it." Although it only advanced to kissing it still was wrong and I admit that. I'm human and I learned from my mistake.

 

The woman I messed around with 8 years ago was more of the egressor towards me. She was older and looking back on it there was no doubt what she wanted. I knew it and it was basically her pressuring me until I broke. It takes two people though so Im still am to blame.

Because of this past experience I have become very careful around women. I don't want to be a total prude though. For example, just because a woman says you look nice in a shirt or something doesn't mean she wants to get a hotel room. From what I've read many women flirt with no real sexual intentions behind it.

 

This brings me to a coworker of mine. She and I work on alot of stuff together 3 days a week. We are both married and get along pretty good. I've noticed small things with her though that kind of worry me that she's become attracted to me.

1. When I'm around her alot she starts playing with her necklace and hair

2. She will take all her back to 1 side to show off her neck

3. She mirrors alot of little things I do

4. I've caught her looking at me from the corner of her eye

5. She blushes at times when I joke with her

6. At times shell redo her make up before we eat lunch

 

She's a very introverted woman and I can't tell if some of this is due to her just being nervous around me or if it has to do with some type of attraction. The woman from 8 years ago was so in my face with it there was no doubt but the more reserved type of flirting is so hard to read.

 

I don't want her to make the same mistake I did. However, I also enjoy working with her and if there is no reason to be concerned then I don't want to rock the boat. Basically, I'm just curious if women would consider these types of actions as overly flirtatious.

[Art.at.Heart]

I made the mistake of having an affair about 8 years ago. I'm not proud of it. I understand what people here mean when they say, "dont do it - you'll regret it." Although it only advanced to kissing it still was wrong and I admit that. I'm human and I learned from my mistake.

 

The woman I messed around with 8 years ago was more of the egressor towards me. She was older and looking back on it there was no doubt what she wanted. I knew it and it was basically her pressuring me until I broke. It takes two people though so Im still am to blame.

Because of this past experience I have become very careful around women. I don't want to be a total prude though. For example, just because a woman says you look nice in a shirt or something doesn't mean she wants to get a hotel room. From what I've read many women flirt with no real sexual intentions behind it.

 

This brings me to a coworker of mine. She and I work on alot of stuff together 3 days a week. We are both married and get along pretty good. I've noticed small things with her though that kind of worry me that she's become attracted to me.

1. When I'm around her alot she starts playing with her necklace and hair

2. She will take all her back to 1 side to show off her neck

3. She mirrors alot of little things I do

4. I've caught her looking at me from the corner of her eye

5. She blushes at times when I joke with her

6. At times shell redo her make up before we eat lunch

 

She's a very introverted woman and I can't tell if some of this is due to her just being nervous around me or if it has to do with some type of attraction. The woman from 8 years ago was so in my face with it there was no doubt but the more reserved type of flirting is so hard to read.

 

I don't want her to make the same mistake I did. However, I also enjoy working with her and if there is no reason to be concerned then I don't want to rock the boat. Basically, I'm just curious if women would consider these types of actions as overly flirtatious.

I apologize in advance for how out of line this may be...but this seems like a thread with the poorly disguised intent to see whether or not this woman is interested...because you are interested.

 

My friend, if you have no intention of repeating the mistake you referred to at the beginning of your post, and you are happily married, this woman's intentions do not matter.

[JDPT]

I think if you really don't want to go through what you went through 8 years ago, you would simply ignore all those little hints that women so subtly use and think about your future and your current relationship. I've been in your shoes plenty of times. I had women play footsie with me at meetings to meeting in the parking lot of our job to do the deed.

 

I think you have plenty of experience with this as well hence the reason why you are able to pick up on all of this. I say, play it through and if you can have an affair and be mature about well...(not encouraging anything here) but if you are going to kiss and immediately run to your wife and cry to her about it well get ready for the consequences.

[BaileyB]

 

My friend, if you have no intention of repeating the mistake you referred to at the beginning of your post, and you are happily married, this woman's intentions do not matter.

 

So true. Be polite, but ignore her. She will get the message...

[juniorrocha]

I say, play it through and if you can have an affair and be mature about well...(not encouraging anything here) but if you are going to kiss and immediately run to your wife and cry to her about it well get ready for the consequences.

 

It sure is a big mature move to cheat on your wife, big boy.

 

Ignore the girl. If she ever make a move, tell her you're married and nothing's gonna happen.

[Lois_Griffin]

Golly gosh and gee whiz, I'm SO sorry you were victimized by the big, bad older lady 8 years ago.

 

That must have been horribly traumatic for you, being forced to act against your will by her, methodically brainwashed and having your will manipulated until you couldn't fight anymore and had to give in.

I don't want her to make the same mistake I did.

LOL. Sure you don't.

[BluesPower]

Lois, I get where you are coming from, completely.

 

Dude, you know as well as I do that she is into you.

 

You either want to have an affair or you don't. Stop being such a chump.

 

I am betting the wife did not find out about the other affair, because if she did you would be singing a different tune.

 

I am as big a POS as you are and I have also been on both sides of this street. Just man up, get a divorce or don't fool around.

 

I have these types of issues all the time. I am not as good looking as I use to be and I am 52. It is a big stroke for the ego and all that but you kind of just have to let that go.

 

If you are happy in your marriage then change your mind set about cheating because you are living in la. la land and you really don't realize how much damage you can do.