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Smartphone Relationship Etiquette Issue?


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I'll try and make this brief. Today my s/o and I were in bed talking and a mutual friend came up in conversation, my s/o got their phone and went to type in the mutual friend's name on facebook to pull up that person's profile. In the middle of typing in the friend's name while I was laying beside them I noticed that my s/o angled their phone away from me, which bothered me a lot. I asked why they did that and my s/o maintained that it was just something they did without thinking about it much. I asked them if they could type it in the search bar again without angling the phone this time and my s/o did but.. at this point my s/o was definitely annoyed that i'd even ask that.

 

 

 

This issue doesn't happen a lot but in the past when it happened my s/o always maintained that it was just an impulse because they're shy about porn searches (apparently my s/o also uses facebook to just look at porn models sometimes). I maintained that I'd definitely rather see porn stuff than the effort to keep something hidden.

 

Anyway, now my s/o is still really upset with me. My s/o claims that I don't trust them. Should I apologize? Am I wrong for feeling the way I felt? I feel like my version of a healthy relationship is one where neither person should invade the other's privacy but, I also feel like neither person should go out of their way to prevent the other from seeing something.

 

Also, my s/o also maintains that they think they should be able to angle their phone away sometimes, does that sound right?

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I think it falls more under the category of a personal privacy thing regardless of who you are and how much trust you have on the other person. It's bad practice to angle your phone in a relationship. Leads me to believe you are either embarrassed and trying or just simply cheating.

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I can understand if guys are embarrassed about their porn searches. If he gives you no indication of cheating and tells you he angles his phone because of those porn searches, I would not stress over it. But you can tell him not to do it anymore as it does feel weird.

 

 

I sometimes browse my facebook or internet (not porn) and my BF would "naturally" look over and see what I'm watching. I don't like it too much. Some things I don't want him to see or some conversations with my girl friends I don't want him to read. Even though the contents are totally innocent.But I would not tilt my phone because it will look suspicious. I'd just let him read, but I don't like it.

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He did show you right? and there wasn't anything there to be hidden. What did that prove? that he wasn't lying, he did it on impulse and I bet money on it he does it with everyone.....you are making a big deal out of nothing. I don't blame him for getting pissed at you.

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Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. He should know that thus he should understand the need to not hide things from the one you are in a relationship.

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Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. He should know that thus he should understand the need to not hide things from the one you are in a relationship.

The clear fact of that matter is that he WAS NOT hiding anything. He proved it to her.

 

I totally get his point, because I see other people do it. It's distracting having someone watch you type.

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JoeSmith357-1

I was going through something with my SO where she was involved in an emotional affair with an ex.

 

It was actually getting comical, she would disappear to the bathroom 3 times in an hour, for like 15 minutes each, put her phone lying face down on the table, NEVER EVER be separated from it.

 

When I finally called her out on it, she still denied it. After she finally admitted it, I called her out on all those points.

 

So there MAY be something, maybe not. But I am of the school of "I have nothing to hide". I do everything out in the open. If someone claims their absolute right to personal privacy, they are most likely hiding something.

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The clear fact of that matter is that he WAS NOT hiding anything. He proved it to her.

 

I totally get his point, because I see other people do it. It's distracting having someone watch you type.

 

He was hiding it because he would tilt away the screen on purpose.

 

 

Second having somebody look over your shoulder is not the same as the person you are in a relationship with.

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