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Girlfriend on girl trip ,while im at home


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Hi!

I have been with my girlfriend for 9 months now. She and her friends annualy goes on a "girltrip" to turkey. This was therefore planned before i met her, but she had the oppurtunity to bring me(i was keen, she not so much)

I am now at home having this gut wrenching feeling that she might be dancing, flirting, making out with turkish boys while being drunk in a nightclub.

Her friends and my girl are telling me there is nothing to worty about etc. I do trust her, but here comes the problem, wich leaves me unsecure. She is constantly adding turkish men on instagram and facebook. The girls are posting pictures of themselves and on one of the latest i could se my girl sitting squeesed between two guys and having her arm around one of them...

Does anyone have any experience with this? And should i react to such pictures? Even though i trust her, i know things can happen while drunk partying with these very persistent turkish men.She is altough a very innovebt girl, im the first guy shes ever been intimate with.

Any advice, experienses would realy help!:)

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Space Ritual
Even though i trust her, i know things can happen while drunk partying with these very persistent turkish men.

 

 

Anything can happen with Any group of men. Turkish, German, Eskimo, you name it. We have one thing in common: An urge to get laid

 

Look, obviously trust is an issue. I get that. A Girls only trip are usually a first real test for a fairly new couple.

 

You can let it consume you or you can understand that YOU have ZERO control how your girlfriend acts. The only person's behavior that you can control is your own.

 

Anyway, if anything nefarious happens, youngtsers these days are pretty bad at keeping their traps shut about it. Social Media has put the kibosh on that. If she cheated on you while she was gone, you'll eventually find out. Just watch her actions when she returns and keep your mouth shut and observe the actions. If she acts weird when she returns then you may have something to worry about. But you can't possibly know until she returns or one of her friends lets the proverbial cat out of the bag. Which I might add, will probably happen if something did occur.

 

A the very least do not wear your heart on your sleeve or you'll never find out.

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You quite clearly DO NOT trust her, otherwise you would not be here.

 

Which begs the question, why do you have a GF you don't trust in the first place? Never mind the Turkish guys and her girl-trip.

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Yes. I know that if something happens i will eventually know. But is there anyway i can say that i think it is inappropriate that shes acting so intimate with these guys on pictures?

Thanks for responding! :D

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dONT KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE.

 

But yes you can tell her. But in pm!!!!

Not by childish open comments on her page.

 

Just whats-app or text her on fb that you seen her pics and you dont like the way she

is adding guys , it feels disrespectful to you.

And what about you plan a trip or go do fun stuff with your friends also?

Instead of sit all day long looking at what she gonna upload and think and fantasize about it...

 

Go have fun with your friends and post pics you too. :p

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Cherryz. Im 18, shes 18:)

Thanks. Yes i could do that , altough she could be veeery angry and accusing me for being to controlling haha

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9 months is a committed relation ship.

 

 

Frankly, I would just dump her in person as soon as she gets back.

 

 

Then never talk to her again. Trust me it is better this way.

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Darren Steez
Yes. I know that if something happens i will eventually know. But is there anyway i can say that i think it is inappropriate that shes acting so intimate with these guys on pictures?

Thanks for responding! :D

 

What!??? And you can see those pictures? Yeah there is a way. Unfriend her and move on.

 

You know she be getting that bang!

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ExpatInItaly

On one hand, she is adding these guys and posting pictures with the knowledge that you can see all of this. I would hope she's not dense enough to actually be cheating with them when she is posting about it all over social media.

 

On the other hand, this points to serious boundary issues. What you consider inappropriate behaviour in a relationship, she obviously doesn't.

 

You should have this conversation with her in person, I think. Fighting about it over text or FB while she is away is likely to turn ugly quickly.

 

If you feel you can't trust her - which you don't or you wouldn't be here - you very seriously need to reconsider this relationship.

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Your only 18. So young to have this stress.

 

I'm ok with the holiday, but adding the guys and sitting all cosy isn't great.

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It's one thing to go on a trip and go out dancing, but it's another to be squeezing in between two guys she has just met for a photo. It's called boundaries. When she gets back, it should be something to be discussed. Go ahead tell her how it makes you feel...ask her to put herself in your shoes. Communication is key to a healthy relationship.

 

Just because you love someone, isn't an excuse to let them do whatever they want. If it upsets her and she wants out then that should tell you, she really doesn't give a rat's butt about you or your feelings. If you don't say anything you are just prolonging the inevitable.

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She is constantly adding turkish men on instagram and facebook. The girls are posting pictures of themselves and on one of the latest i could se my girl sitting squeesed between two guys and having her arm around one of them.
You do not have trust issues. She has trustworthiness issues.
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Considering what is going on in Turkey since the failed July 15, 2016, coup attempt, it seems strange that an 18 year old girl and her friends would travel there. The U.S. Department of State issued the following travel warning"

 

"The U.S. Department of State warns U.S. citizens of increased threats from terrorist groups throughout Turkey and to avoid travel to southeastern Turkey. In light of the July 15 coup attempt and the resulting potential for interruptions to travel and daily life, we suggest U.S. citizens reconsider travel to Turkey at this time."

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Lets separate between the chance of cheating, and her behavior that you know about.

 

You say it's not her first trip there, but you're her first. though there is a chance for cheating yet I see a very minor chance of it.

 

Now lets talk about what bothers you. You are Bf & Gf, and suddenly she has the chance for a little break, and go partying like a single girl, under the cover of "already planned annual trip". You understand that it's just an excuse, right? She could have asked you to join, but she hasn't, BECAUSE again, she wanted to be single for few days.

 

She isn't hiding it, in fact she is posting pics and add guy friends on FB. She is giving you a message -

"I want to be your gf but i have the right to hang out without you sometimes, with other girls and guys (turkish or whatever), dancing with other guys and any other sort of having fun".

 

I've been to your shoes more than once. I regret the times i confronted about it, and I'm glad the times I just left, or let it go. There is no point of confronting her about it. She has shown her boundaries very clearly. This is her perception of gf & bf. If you have a different perception, than say goodbye and leave. Don't try to change her or to give her lectures.

 

For me, I would find it humiliating if my gf wouldn't want me to come in the first place, just so she could hang out and party with other guys, without my presence. I wouldn't want to be in that kind of (Legitimate) relationship. I would wait for her to come back and break up with her. You have the right to be happy and not insecure in a relationship , so is she.

Edited by lolablue17
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My husband is currently away skiing with his mates. However, his pics are of him and his mates and beer and snow. I'm not at all concerned.

 

However, if he was adding multiple girls to social media and having many photos taken with random women, that would be a completely different story.

 

Your girlfriend has poor boundaries. Think twice about continuing with her.

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Nothing much to add... it is an utter lack of respect to add pictures with two Turkish guys in her social media when she knows you are seeing it...

I don't know if she is cheating or not but I know she is not avoiding the situations where that may happen... that by itself is quite dangerous...

It would seem your girlfriend is not with relationship mindset yet.

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PegNosePete
Thats what i want to avoid, i really love her.

Do you think she would be doing what she is doing, if she loved you?

 

How do you think she would react if you did what she did - went on holiday and posted pics of you between 2 girls with your arm round them? Do you think she would be on here saying "but I love him"? No, she would dump you so hard your head would spin.

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Lois_Griffin
The girls are posting pictures of themselves and on one of the latest i could se my girl sitting squeesed between two guys and having her arm around one of them...

She is altough a very innovebt girl, im the first guy shes ever been intimate with.

Sorry kiddo. I don't believe either of those last 2 statements. I'm assuming that horribly misspelled word is "introverted."

 

Yeah. No.

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OP, what you need to do is create a new face book album on your own facebook page. Call it "Having fun while girlfriend is away!" get some outrageous pictures of you and other women having fun. Take some selfie shots of yourself at the pool talking to some bikini clad girls. If possible, get some pics of you massaging suntan lotion on their almost nude bodies. Make sure your ear to ear grin is very visible in the pictures while you are doing it. Post them all to face book and then sit back and watch the nuclear bomb go off when you girlfriend in turkey sees them... yes sir, good times indeed! :cool:

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You're saying you were keen to go on holiday with her, she not so much.

 

You then see pictures of her squeezed between a couple of men while on holiday.

 

Do you want a gf who chooses to spend time with you on holiday, or are you happy with this situation?

 

9 months is still pretty new in a relationship, and what you've experienced here is a taste of things to come.

 

I'll be honest with what most men are thinking when they read this post, we've all met girls on holiday with boyfriends back home. We know what happens. Maybe she's different, I don't know her.

 

For me, the fact she's doing something that you wanted to share with her, and its now involving other men in whatever context, would be time to move on.

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