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emotional connection with another person...???


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How do i start... It seems my gf and her friend - a guy, always seem to be talking with each other. And since we all live on the university campus there are times when she'll be in his room and he'll be in her room "talking". I find myself out of the loop in terms of what's going on in her life. And since I share the same house with this guy, somehow he feels the need to tell me fill me in with what's she is doing. Sometimes he'll overhear my conversation and "report" them back to her.

 

He says they're just friends and I have told her that it bothers me that he not only know more about what's going with her but that they spend as much time as they do talking. Well i wasn't surprised that he seemed to know about this conversation i had with her. She also said that she won't stop being friends with him because he doesn't have anyone else who will really "listen" to him.

 

A little over a week passes and nothing seems to change. I'm with my gf in her room and he comes by to discuss his "problems". He does this all the time, giving her random visits. And when she's not feeling well he's the first to know. Suddenly i feel like the third wheel.

 

tell me i'm paranoid.

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I don't think that paranoia has anything to do with it, but why are you dating someone that doesn't want to confide in you?

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Originally posted by pho88

tell me i'm paranoid.

be worried, very worried PHO88. this dude is trying to fly in under radar and steal your woman.

 

i think you should find a needy female friend who comes and has long talks with you and confides in you and all that sheeyat.

 

i wonder what your g/f would think of that?! she'd prob go ballistic.

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As of lately i have been considering breaking up but i wasn't sure i was being rational since i haven't talked to anyone about it.

 

Also awhile back i found his blog and a link to her blog from his. Though she didn't write anything about him i don't think its fair that i don't get know whats on her mind and he does. This goes back to the whole confiding issue.

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LucreziaBorgia

At this point, I'd be more concerned with the girlfriend than I would the guy who may or may not be trying to 'steal her away'. All you can do is let her know that you don't like it, why you don't like it, suggest a compromise and put the ball in her court. If she decides to continue on despite what you feel about it with no suggestion of compromise then you'll need to decide if you want to stay with her under these conditions.

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MAke yourself unavailable, have a new female "friend" around you, look hot... hum, the "intellectual" type a guy usually loses ground in front of a successful "hottie".

 

Sorry to give this shallow advice, but it is what usually arises young girls' attention.

 

Curly

 

P.S. Why is it always you to visit her? Whey not the other way around? Hum...

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  • 2 weeks later...
WithOrWithoutYou
Originally posted by alphamale

be worried, very worried PHO88. this dude is trying to fly in under radar and steal your woman.

 

i think you should find a needy female friend who comes and has long talks with you and confides in you and all that sheeyat.

 

i wonder what your g/f would think of that?! she'd prob go ballistic.

 

I have to agree with these comments. Nothing sucks more than being in a close, intimate relationship with someone, and that special someone, who you could tell anything, who you feel so close to, finds someone BESIDES YOU of the opposite sex to confide in, tell all their secrets to, and get emotionally close with (whether they are screwing that other person or not). It's still an emotional affair. I've been there a few years ago, and it isn't any fun. I hate to say it, but I would not be at ALL surprised if your GF is applying a double standard, since as alphamale says, she would no doubt (quite justifiably) go very ballistic if you find some needy female friend for long intimate talks and walks.

 

Bottom line, maybe he is a shark just acting like a friend hoping to get in under the radar and is after your GF (in my case, that was the case, and he ended up marrying her), or maybe he just thinks he is being a good friend and doesn't know what it is doing to your relationship with her (unlikely), but either way, it doesn't look too good for your relationship, unless your GF is willing to see what is going on, and do something about it.

 

Sorry to be the co-bearer of bad news man.

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WithOrWithoutYou

You know what, I just put it together that you are the same guy that posted the other thread. This is the same girl who cheated on you, wrote about it in her blog and posted it on the Internet, lied to you about it when you confronted her, then only half-admitted what happened once you proved it. AND this?

 

Dump her man. I'm sorry, but she is not committed to you in any way, and doesn't really care. It's about self-respect at this point.

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