tito1501 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I am 23 years old and live together with my girlfriend, already for 3 months. I have no reason to be jealous or suspicious on her, it has been lovely to live with her. However, I feel I am often too controlling and suspicious. If she says she will come back to work with a colleague, I get extremely angry inside, at the first moment. I have to keep on saying to myself: "Why are you so mad about it ? She will not do anything wrong"... but still, these thoughts stay in my mind for very long. I just want this to stop. Any situation that is different and involves a guy and she not being reachable, drives me insecure. It has always been like this. Can you please help me to work on it ? I have really good self-steem with other girls and on my personal life, but when it envolves this girl, I feel disappointed with my self. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 This is what happens to people when they are newly in love...can last up to a year and a half. When the infatuation period of your relationship comes to a slow, your feelings of jealousy/insecurity will slow too. I suggest you find things to do that challenge and preoccupy your thoughts, like gaming, or get busy hanging out with your buddies to shoot some hoops or whatever you can do to enjoy your time away from her. Dependency is a relationship killer, so make sure you get your "me" time in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunking101 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 You say that you're disappointed in yourself. If your girlfriend were to dump you over this behaviour, would you wish that you had done something about it earlier? If she really isn't doing anything outrageous or disrespectful then try to change your way of thinking before you push her away. Just be the best guy you can be and if she ends up leaving you at some point in the future then at least you won't kick yourself for being a fool. Develop the mindset that what will be will be and stop fretting about things. Be that confident, funny guy that she won't want to leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Keep doing the positive self talk. Remind yourself that you love her & you trust her & that she's coming home to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ad4m Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 The longer you two are together, the less insecure you will feel. This is completely natural in a new(ish) relationship. If you really love her, then you need to trust her. Does she have a past of cheating? If she doesn't then you've no reason to be worried. If she can confidently ask a male colleague for a lift home from work without it meaning anything, you should take this as a good sign. It means that she feels that she can be around other men without it meaning anything romantic or have anything sexual about it, and that she is completely satisfied with you and your relationship. Just keep telling yourself you can trust her and you will get over your insecurity eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
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