soulseek Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Thoughts on one on one hangout sessions with the opposite gender. Activities could include skiing together or hiking. Also,Is it appropriate for an out of town friend of opposite gender to visit and stay in one bedroom apartment with significant other? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hell no!!!!!!!!!!! Boundaries need to be applied. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 It all very much "depends" on many factors. Did they know the OSF before your relationship, or meet after/during?Is this OSF an ex, ex-LTR, ex-FWB, or ex-datee? Anything romantic ever happened between them?Were you invited to the skiing/hiking/event as well? Or were you deliberately excluded?How is the OSF's relationship with you, are they a "friend of the relationship" or just a friend of your SO? Have they been introduced to you? How did they react and treat you? Staying in a one bedroom apartment may be appropriate assuming they sleep on the couch and favourable answers to all the above. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 OP, my response tends to align with that of PegNosePete and I thank you for keeping the inquiry gender-neutral. Cross gender interactions surrounding activities are normal and healthy, as are same gender interactions for those who are homo- or bi-sexual. Individuals set their own boundaries of personal/sexual involvement and, sure, in some cases, those boundaries may be inappropriate. However, that's individual to those particular people rather than a general guideline. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulseek Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 It all very much "depends" on many factors. Did they know the OSF before your relationship, or meet after/during?Is this OSF an ex, ex-LTR, ex-FWB, or ex-datee? Anything romantic ever happened between them?Were you invited to the skiing/hiking/event as well? Or were you deliberately excluded?How is the OSF's relationship with you, are they a "friend of the relationship" or just a friend of your SO? Have they been introduced to you? How did they react and treat you? Staying in a one bedroom apartment may be appropriate assuming they sleep on the couch and favourable answers to all the above. Friendship was there before, however socializing always happened in groups. Things have changed now since we are currently in a different city and the opposite gendered friend is here too. An invite was not provided, as the skiing/hiking would take place while I was at school/ on their day off. I have also not met this individual. The way it was described to me is that their relationship is based off of doing things that are of common interest to the two of them. Thoughts while in a relationship..? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Just because somebody has a new romantic relationship does not mean that all of their interactions with an OSF are obligated to change. If the two people did these activities before, they can continue to do them. A new SO who balks too loudly about what I call pre-existing friends is like to discovery they are suddenly & EX while the friendship continues to flourish. Pick your battles & trust your SO. If you can trust, don't be in the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
m007 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 My best friend is of opposite sex. We have been friends for 15 years, since early 20ties. We slept in the same bed so many times (circumstances) and never ever anything happened even when both single (or drunk, lol). We are Both married now and we took trips alone even after marriages. Sleeping with him would make me puke, like incest. Never had chemistry. My closest friends growing up were 3 boys, shared a kiss with 2 of them. Teenage curiosity, we are still friends but more all together, with families, not 1 on 1. No rules. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Friends should stay just that --- friends and not bedroom buddies. I wonder how many people behind the screen are so acceptable and when confronted in real life with same situation , will not find it acceptable. You cant have your cake and eat it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 ------ negative ------ Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Hell no!!!!!!!!!!! Boundaries need to be applied. Why are you beating around the bush? You are amongst friends here you can be fully open and honest here. Speaking of boundaries, opposite sex friends are not needed when in a relationship. OSF's are the first step onto the slippery slope to an affair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 IME, the people who are pro opposite sex friends are usually the ones crossing the boundaries and don't want to be called out for it. They usually are good at covering up their actions/deeds/words and putting the ball in the court of their partner to deal with it. This is the sad reality, irrespective of how it is put. They blatantly flirt, in front and behind their partners and expect them to accept the friendship or get therapy for their mental health issues ,like jealousy,trust , self esteem etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts