Miracle90 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) I get the point I reacted badly but never been cheated on in my life before; never been treated this poorly nor deceived in that manner (I'll never get back the time I've wasted with this loser). This was really someone who actually had made me changed my mind about possibly settling down and having a child. I was about to try moving in with him but wasn't sure since I've never done that before. Even thought I wasn't interest in having kids before, I've been thinking about it ever since this year at the age of 29. Anyway last week, through a friend and one of his new messages he left open by accident on his hotmail account, I found out my bf (now ex bf) of a year has been having an ongoing affair for months. My reaction was that I walked up to him, threw my drink of Coca-Cola in his face and started calling him all the bad words I can think about. Right afterwards, he had the nerves to even say he can report that. Oh really? I think getting treated like garbage is nothing in comparing to the drink throwing. I was shocked, angry, devastated. I'm getting to an age where I was thinking of a possible future. This is the first time I've ever gotten this upset with a man. Edited November 25, 2015 by Miracle90 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Technically he can report it, but it wouldn't really go all that far. Legally it is assault, but I doubt very much that he'll actually report you for that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Just move on...reacting gives them pleasure...you need to stop acting like you care....they sure as hell do not! G 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 He also commented out of his nerves and anger. He will calm down. Relax about the reporting thing. He can go to the police and report but the policemen will tell him to go home and relax. If he is stupid enough and insists to file a report, they will call you to give your testimony but it will end there. You have nothing to worry about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Sorry it's happened to you, OP. Dealing with the massive breach of trust and with the end of your relationship is probs more important than worrying about what he will do next. It's only been a week -surround yourself with ppl who care and don't spare him a second of your thoughts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Technically he can report it, but it wouldn't really go all that far. Legally it is assault, but I doubt very much that he'll actually report you for that. Legally it's battery. Even if he reported it, unless he was injured by the drink, or your action was part of an ongoing pattern of physical abuse, the police are unlikely to do anything. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 It's a simple assault. But, given the nature of the assault and no actual bodily harm was done, the police would take his statement and that would probably be the end of it. It would up to the District Attorney to decide to take up the case. And considering that their offices are probably chucked full of cases with armed robbery, murders, car theft, gang bangers and rapes, I'm pretty sure you're safe. Don't think the state would want to spend money on a case where the only thing that happened is someone got a little wet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 If the police see no injury, and his life wasn't threatened, they will do diddly squat. They need physical evidence. He said he reported it to get back at you because he is a narcissistic bastard that just won't own it and take responsibility for his actions. It was a way for him divert blame....what a douche.....thank your lucky stars, you dodged a bullet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 It's a simple assault. But, given the nature of the assault and no actual bodily harm was done, the police would take his statement and that would probably be the end of it. It would up to the District Attorney to decide to take up the case. And considering that their offices are probably chucked full of cases with armed robbery, murders, car theft, gang bangers and rapes, I'm pretty sure you're safe. Don't think the state would want to spend money on a case where the only thing that happened is someone got a little wet. Exactly. This guy will be lucky if the cops don't wind up pointing and laughing at him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 My reaction was that I walked up to him, threw my drink of Coca-Cola in his face and started calling him all the bad words I can think about. Right afterwards, he had the nerves to even say he can report that. Oh really? I think getting treated like garbage is nothing in comparing to the drink throwing. I was shocked, angry, devastated. I'm getting to an age where I was thinking of a possible future. This is the first time I've ever gotten this upset with a man. Others answered the 'assault'* question but a lot of ppl make the error you made above about mutual poor treatment. The law doesn't care about that in the slightest in terms of someone 'deserving' it. That never justifies an assault. If you had punched him in the face and then told the cops that he'd "treated you like garbage," they wouldn't care one bit about that and you'd go to jail. * in quotes bc being attacked w/Coca-Cola is about as benign an assault as there is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Others answered the 'assault'* question but a lot of ppl make the error you made above about mutual poor treatment. The law doesn't care about that in the slightest in terms of someone 'deserving' it. That never justifies an assault. If you had punched him in the face and then told the cops that he'd "treated you like garbage," they wouldn't care one bit about that and you'd go to jail. * in quotes bc being attacked w/Coca-Cola is about as benign an assault as there is. Yeah, I think you need to control your temper regardless of gender. He was a jerk, yes, but would everyone be so okay with this if the roles were reversed and the cheated-on boyfriend strolled up to his cheating-girlfriend and poured a pitcher of Coke/beer all over her in a public place? Would people call him a bully or would they be like, "You go, boy!" and give him high fives? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 The cops would just send him away. Seriously. No one has time for this guy. He's a whiny cheater that thinks he's above reproach. I mean what trauma did he suffer because of this? Does he get triggered when he sees the Coca-Cola logo now? He needs to switch to Pepsi? Please..... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 If he does, he's a tw*t. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Can you imagine what a guy would look/sound like if he walked into a police station and said "my ex girlfriend threw a glass of pop in my face, I wanna press charges" .. The majority of people wouldn't even want to look so silly. I doubt you have anything to worry about. There was no injury, so the cops more than likely would laugh him out of the station in a nice way. I've been slapped in the face by a woman before, and the only thing I thought was "Well I absolutely deserved that". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Others answered the 'assault'* question but a lot of ppl make the error you made above about mutual poor treatment. The law doesn't care about that in the slightest in terms of someone 'deserving' it. That never justifies an assault. If you had punched him in the face and then told the cops that he'd "treated you like garbage," they wouldn't care one bit about that and you'd go to jail. * in quotes bc being attacked w/Coca-Cola is about as benign an assault as there is. Thankyou! Its always strange when people do something that is indeed wrong, but then try to justify it by imposing arbitrary values. Both of you should keep your distance, the drink in the face will likely not go anywhere. Not because you had some moral high ground, but because it was silly and the police have bigger fish to fry than a poorly done water fight. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Thankyou! Its always strange when people do something that is indeed wrong, but then try to justify it by imposing arbitrary values. Both of you should keep your distance, the drink in the face will likely not go anywhere. Not because you had some moral high ground, but because it was silly and the police have bigger fish to fry than a poorly done water fight. There's no 'arbitrary values' between having just learned that you had been cheated on for months and throwing a drink into someone's face. OP posted on here, presumably out of guilt, so even if she did try to justify it a bit (only the godly creatures among us are able to always act in an impeccable way at all times), she clearly already knew what she did was wrong or you know, she wouldn't have posted at all... Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Unless it was actual self defense, this sounds like assault to me. Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 My reaction was that I walked up to him, threw my drink of Coca-Cola in his face and started calling him all the bad words I can think about. Right afterwards, he had the nerves to even say he can report that. Oh really? I think getting treated like garbage is nothing in comparing to the drink throwing. I was shocked, angry, devastated. I'm getting to an age where I was thinking of a possible future. This is the first time I've ever gotten this upset with a man. Well, let's walk through this all legal-like... My reaction was that I walked up to him, threw my drink of Coca-Cola in his face Technically speaking, this would probably be either assault or battery in most (American) jurisdictions depending on whether the law would view the drink incident as touching. If charges would be pursued, assault is more likely, in my view, because it's focused on the intent to cause distress to the victim. and started calling him all the bad words I can think about. I'm assuming this took place in public? Depending on your volume, words used, etc., this could rise to something like terroristic threatening ("I'll get you!"), or something like public nuisance or disturbing the peace. Now, if your "bad words" were said in a calm manner and didn't disturb those around you and they weren't framed as a threat against your ex-BF, then I wouldn't see how anything could be charged. And you apparently know this, but you being upset would not rise to a criminal defense, so you were not legally justified in your actions. Technically yes he could report the incident but as others have said, the police have bigger fish to fry. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) Yet somehow I think if it was a man that threw the drink in the woman's face people would flip out. Also if it is technically assault and people say the cops wouldn't do anything, how messed up is that? Since if a MAN did something to a woman that was technically assault..you can bet your ass the cops would care. If you want equality then you get it in all aspects of life, not just job wages. Edited November 25, 2015 by Spectre 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yet somehow I think if it was a man that threw the drink in the woman's face people would flip out. Also if it is technically assault and people say the cops wouldn't do anything, how messed up is that? Since if a MAN did something to a woman that was technically assault..you can bet your ass the cops would care. Yeah I had mentioned that earlier. For sake of argument, take out the slapping issue because that didn't happen here. But with the Coke issue, can you imagine the scene if a guy did that to a (cheating) girl?? And since there's no change of physical injury in the Coke situation, no one can argue the whole "well she can't really hurt him anyway" angle as they usually do. The Coke incident is meant only to embarrass/humiliate the other person and gender shouldn't play a part at all there (but for some reason, it does). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yep or even a situation where a girl slaps a guy for cheating. People who see this, some would have no issues, some would be asinine and say stuff like "you go girl". Nobody would be saying "how dare you put your hands on that man". Nobody would be calling the cops, nada. In fact if the guy called the cops people would probably say he is a coward. It's bad for the guy to do it but somehow empowering for the woman. So to be honest I might report a woman for doing this merely because the double standard needs to be nipped in the butt. Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yep or even a situation where a girl slaps a guy for cheating. People who see this, some would have no issues, some would be asinine and say stuff like "you go girl". Nobody would be saying "how dare you put your hands on that man". Nobody would be calling the cops, nada. In fact if the guy called the cops people would probably say he is a coward. It's bad for the guy to do it but somehow empowering for the woman. So to be honest I might report a woman for doing this merely because the double standard needs to be nipped in the butt. And it's actually very sexist against the woman because the whole double standard spawned from the whole "women can't control their emotions" mindset from long ago. "She can't control her emotions so let her get away with slapping men or pouring drinks on them." I'll add that I recognize that woman CAN control their emotions, and therefore I hold them to the same standard as I do men. It seems to be the more enlightened view. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yep or even a situation where a girl slaps a guy for cheating. People who see this, some would have no issues, some would be asinine and say stuff like "you go girl". Nobody would be saying "how dare you put your hands on that man". Nobody would be calling the cops, nada. In fact if the guy called the cops people would probably say he is a coward. It's bad for the guy to do it but somehow empowering for the woman. So to be honest I might report a woman for doing this merely because the double standard needs to be nipped in the butt. Bud. Nipped in the Bud. Although in this context butt is fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 There's no 'arbitrary values' between having just learned that you had been cheated on for months and throwing a drink into someone's face. Its the definition of arbitrary. Did NIST come out with a standard that said 'cheating boyfriend = 8.321 ounces of cola to the face' ? She became judge, jury and executioner and threw a drink. It was silly and now an even more ridiculous threat has her on the internet hoping that she's not going to be getting finger prints over it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Lol, I'm going to report you? Who says that? Is he writing a formal memo to the improper usage of beverage board (IUBB)? If he means the police, yeah they'll laugh. Assault with a deadly soft drink isn't a felony last I checked. And how is he going to prove that anyway? Go into the police station and have them take crime scene photos of his sticky face? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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