LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating > Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

Does my partner have a crush on my best friend?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Like Tree14Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 7th February 2017, 11:27 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 500
I don't have any issue with him finding other people attractive and having a momentary lusting after them. He used to be the kind of guy though who just went with however he felt and was a remorseless cheater. It all back fired on him and he lost everything; that coupled with getting older, it took the edge off his hedonism and the most reassuring aspect of his behaviour is that he no longer goes out clubbing, or works in bars. He puts us first in his plans.

About my friend, I feel that even if I did say something about it he'd only lie to protect my feelings. One of my best and worst features is I do speak up if not happy and I did with this situation but fear I may have shown my hand. I need to let what will be will be and let the situation pan out itself. However I'm to scared of rocking this life I've worked so hard to build that I put off having them in the same room.

We are a lot closer now because we understand each other. If I mention her now he doesn't get all misty eyed but it's been over two years since he saw her. My instincts are often spot on. I need my life to be natural...but I feel sick at what I may see.
siankat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th February 2017, 9:34 AM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,394
If this girl is such an important friend why has it been 2 years since you've seen her? The only way you will get your answer as to whether he truly wants her is to let them be around each other. Are you planning to not see your friend again because of fear?
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th February 2017, 12:28 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Lunay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Tazmania
Posts: 122
There should never be a point in time in your relationship that you have to question whether or not your partner has a crush on your best friend. It's nothing you've done, or that your friend has done. It's ALL him and the things he says and his reactions toward her that is making you think this way.

Do you still trust him?
__________________
Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman
Lunay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 4:54 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 500
I have seen my best friend in the meantime but at her place or when he's away overnight working.
siankat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 5:02 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 500
I totally agree. It's all him. He's not to blame for how he feels but for me if I felt that way about someone I'd ask myself how serious it was. If it was a physical and mental attraction to a strong degree that didn't come and go then that would be near impossible to beat.

My other friend is coming to visit so I'm asking my best friend along too as they know each other. He hasn't seen the friend he gushed about in over two years. I mentioned they'd both be coming. For the friend he didn't like he said he'd try and take another shift when she came. Then I asked if he'd feel more comfortable if the friend he likes comes too. He laughed, biggest smile of the whole chat (many topics) and said he'd assumed I'd be asking her anyway as we know each other.
siankat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 5:06 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 500
Do I trust him? If he had the opportunity to cheat with a woman he fancied and not have any real fear of being caught I think he'd take it. Wouldn't most men? This daily living with him for years may have converted my idealism into realism or optimism into pessimism. I can't tell anymore. People are so complicated and 2+2 doesn't always equal 4 when you don't intimately know the personalities involved. Or it could be very simple. If he cheats - he's a betrayer and an ******* boyfriend
siankat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 5:29 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,122
Seems like he's certainly attracted to her.

What you need to figure out is if you trust him as your man. Do you?
DrReplyInRhymes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 9:04 PM   #23
Try
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,196
Quote:
Originally Posted by siankat View Post
Do I trust him? If he had the opportunity to cheat with a woman he fancied and not have any real fear of being caught I think he'd take it. Wouldn't most men?
No, most men would not cheat if they did "not have any real fear of being caught". The truth is most men can cheat without being caught, but do not cheat anyway. A major study showed that most cheating goes completely undetected by the cheated on spouse. For example, a guy just has to go on an out of town business trip, stay at a nice hotel, and dress nice, and if they want to cheat without being caught, the opportunity will present itself.
Try is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 10:17 PM   #24
Established Member
 
darkmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,593
you should drop the friend, you are putting her under his nose and asking us if this is going to be ok, the "biggest smile of the chat" tells me that you need to either stop them meeting or live on your nerves
darkmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th April 2017, 10:53 PM   #25
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,501
I hope everyone's experience hasn't been mine, but I've found that men usually either dislike your girlfriends and wish you'd lose them or they are attracted to them. It's not great.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Crush on best friend Johnny Neutrino Friends and Lovers 9 15th September 2009 12:14 AM
Men, when you find out your casual partner has a crush on you. bac Dating 2 10th July 2009 7:14 PM
Partner has a crush ConfusedAtHome Infidelity 77 31st October 2008 1:14 PM
I think my partner has a crush on a co-worker Sheba Infidelity 27 31st August 2004 3:49 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:48 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.