lillymae1010 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 This new guy is actually someone I knew back in middle school and we've been messaging on facebook. I actually use to have a huge crush on him but so did alot of other girls and was trying to survive my awkward phase. We moved at the beginning of high school so I haven't seen him for at least 10 years. Now he lives a state away but he plays in the NBA minor league and they are coming to play nearby in November. He asked me if I wanted to go and that he could get two tickets for me. I mean it wouldn't even be a real date but still... I've just got out of a hurtful situation that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. It's not like I'm trying to get him back but I still love and miss him a lot. (You can read my story in my thread history if you're interested). Technically it wouldn't be a date but it's still hard for me because I have yet to mentally move on from the last. I don't know the logical thing to do. Put myself out there? Or wait until I'm not so emotionally vulnerable? Not to mention he's a state away. Even now our messaging back and forth has been fun and we do have a lot of shared interests including basketball but at the same time my confidence is so beaten up right now that I'm insecure about every text I send (was that too much? not enough? should've I waited longer? holy crap shut up brain) It's a unique opportunity but maybe I'm just using the idea of a new person to replace the last. I mean whose to say there even would be chemistry when we see each other again in person? I don't think I'm going to go. It just sucks to pass it up. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 It's not a date, he is just being nice. For all he knows you could be bring a date. I think you are reading waaaaay too much into this, and it's just a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 He asked me if I wanted to go and that he could get two tickets for me. Hmm, that seems like a "do you have a BF" probe. He said he could get 2 tickets for you. He wanted to hear either, "sure I'll see if my BF is free", or "actually just the 1 ticket please, I'm single". Personally I would not go near someone with romantic intentions if you're not over the last one. That's just screaming rebound. If you may be interested in him romantically in the future then I would tell him that you recently got out of a relationship and would like a little time before potentially getting into a new one, so ask for a rain check, tell him to call you again in a month! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 If you're so uncomfortable that you have to question it just cancel and don't go. Wait until you are emotionally ready. Link to post Share on other sites
FreyaT Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 You need time to recover, you will just be bringing all the baggage potentially into a new relationship. Why not stay friends, share the banter if it makes you feel a bit better. Just tell him you are not in the right place for anything serious and friends is just on the table. Go have some fun and leave it at that. One day at a time concentrate on you and your healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lillymae1010 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 Thanks everyone. It turns out he WAS/IS very interested. So BAM! In your faces nay sayers!!!! Just kidding I didn't even think about the two tickets being a reference to a BF, whoops. I'm going to give it another month and keep talking with him the meantime, then reevaluate how I feel. I don't know if there is an exact "time frame" for ending one relationship and starting another but I think 3 months will be a reasonable approach. We'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
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