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Is he getting around or just involved in too many coincidences?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 11th January 2005, 8:19 PM   #1
Canada=hell
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Is he getting around or just involved in too many coincidences?

About 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend flew home to see his parents for the holidays.

He was to be there until Jan. 3. We spoke on his cell phone daily from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas. Then things got weird. Suddenly, I didn't hear from him for a couple of days. At first, I really didn't think it was a big deal because he hadn't seen his family for awhile, but then by day three, I started to worry.

My boyfriend has cancer and had just finished a very harsh round of chemotherapy so naturally, I thought the worse. When I tried to call his phone, it went straight to voicemail, and although I left messages expressing my concern, he didn't call me back. By day four, I gave it one last try and left another voicemail. This time I told him I was calling his parents if I didn't hear from him by that evening. Still, no call so I called his parents and left a message on their answering machine.

Finally, the next afternooon (we have never gone more than a day in our one year relationship without speaking) he called from a mall. He said he had broken his phone and had to go there to repair it. He claims to have tried calling my home phone (which is digital and sometimes doesn't receive all calls) but the calls wouldn't go through.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and accepted his story. It was New Year's Eve and I asked him if he would call me at midnight. He said that if he were awake (he was still feeling exhausted from the chemo), he would call. Of course, he didn't.

He did call the next morning and said he turned in early the night before. I called his phone later that night and again the next evening and no return call until noon on Jan. 3 from the airport. He said he was in the airport of his hometown but when I got on the airport AND the airline's websites, there were no flights he could have been on that were flying him from his parent's home to where he currently lives.

Now, a little backstory...my boyfriend has two home lines, one of which is in the basement rec room. One day I accidentally hit the caller ID button and saw that this girl from Canada had called almost every day for the last couple months. I also noticed that the ringer on the phone was off.

Coincidentally, the only flight from the airline he specified he was on that was not in the air when he called me had originated in Canada.

I was at his house the last weekend and decided to prove that either I was crazy or that he was lying. So, I snooped in his files looking for an airline ticket. Instead, I found a file that had all the cards and letters I had given him along with letters from this same Canadian girl. I read one letter and was sickened.

The letter began with "Hi Sweetheart" and ended with "I can't wait until you are in my arms. See you in a couple weeks." The post-mark was for December 2004.

My boyfriend was in the shower at the time so I began packing my bags to leave for my home. I was so devatated because I had given him so much of my heart and life. You see, my home is two hours away and since September, I have been driving to and from his house to work everyday so that I could take care of him and give him emotional support.

I am also a mother, so that meant my daughter had to be at my mom's house the whole time. It was draining to say the least, in every way imaginable. So, as you can imagine, I wouldn't expect someone who I was so close to to do this to me.

You've got to hear his side of the story though...

He says that he was at his parent's house the whole time and I could call right then and ask them. When I said I wouldn't do that, he said to bring it up the next time I saw them. He said this girl was just someone who was a friend from way back and although they talked on the phone, she had a hard time construing the difference. He said she never talked like that on the phone to him, but the letters kinda freaked him out and that he didn't know how to tell her about it.

I know my boyfriend does have a difficult time hurting people's feelings when they have become attached (such has been the case with almost all his ex-girlfriends) but the story doesn't wash for me.

However, he said he is going to make her go away if that makes me feel more secure.

So, although I'm not sure I believe this story, I do want to give him a second chance.

Above all, he is also my best friend and we have been though so much together.
I found this out on Sunday and haven't been able to get it out of my head since. So, how do I forget this and trust him again? How do I stop obsessing about this? A friend of mine and I were even thinking of calling this girl to get some info (in a very anonymous, psychotic kinda way!) Please adise!!!

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 11th January 2005 at 10:18 PM..
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Old 12th January 2005, 10:15 AM   #2
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I would ask him to show you his airline tickets. If he claims he lost the ticket then have his travel agency send you the itinerary or have him look up the itinerary online at the airlines website. I know its hard because if you really love him you will want to believe him no matter how fishy his story is. If he gets mad and defensive just tell him how much you love him and need to see some proof so you can get over this and move on with your relationship.
To me your story seems too fishy that I would just believe it without doing some detective work to make sure it all adds up.
Good luck, let us know what happens!
Hund1976 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th January 2005, 11:05 AM   #3
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soembody gave me thsi advice one..
if he talks like he is cheating and he walks like he is cheating..he probably is cheating..
emotionsmessmeup is offline   Reply With Quote
 

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