AmyKaur Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 We were together for nearly 3 years (2 years and 9 months to be specific). I haven't seen my ex boyfriend since December 2013 and spoken to him since February 2014. He dumped me and soon as he broke up with me, he was in another relationship. I broke of all contact with him and decided to heal for myself. He's 22, girlfriend is 20 and I'm 20 as well. 5/6 months went by and he got his close friend (female) to check up on me. She asked me "how's you and ....... (ex boyfriend)" even though him and his new girlfriend was public and everyone knew. I responded harshly saying "I'm glad its over etc" and he must have read what I said about him. 17 months have passed since me and him broke up. I have a Tinder account and I matched with him (ex boyfriend). He has a Tinder account despite having a girlfriend. He was active on a regular basis and updated his profile e.g. photo's. So we matched and he spoke to me. He asked me "do you hate me 8-) lmaooo" and I responded with "LOL I think it's best if I don't answer that 8-)" and he's like "LOL why" etc. He asked how's my sister, what I've been doing lately and if I'm at University. I asked him "one question, why did you speak to me?" he replied with "just seeing how you are and if you hate me". He dumped me and has a girlfriend yet he's on Tinder and asking me questions like this. Fair enough, if I dumped him but HE ended the relationship with me. His family don't approve of me because we're different castes (Asian drama). They would approve of his current girlfriend as they're the same caste. I told her he has Tinder and he got angry. He started saying to me he's upgraded and he doesn't like me. Oh, also on Tinder it was his friends talking to me and I was a part of a game as they swapped phones. I think they've broken up now. I can't help but feel guilty. He's unmatched me on Tinder and blocked me of WhatsApp. Do you think he's still in love with me considering the questions he was asking me? Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Looks like a classic case of discovering grass is not greener. I doubt this kind of moron even understands whats going on, because he is an idiot, what he sees is how green the grass is somewhere else, even where he has already been in the past, simply because it is over there, not where he is at right now. you don't want this kind of person in your life Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 He asked me "do you hate me 8-) lmaooo" and I responded There's your mistake, right there. Why on earth did you respond? Just tell him yes you hate him and do not respond to him any more. Problem solved. Do you think he's still in love with me considering the questions he was asking me? Why do you give 2 short ships whether HE is still in love with YOU? Do you want him back or something? If not then simply MOVE ON and stop analysing his actions. He is your past. Look to the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmyKaur Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Looks like a classic case of discovering grass is not greener. I doubt this kind of moron even understands whats going on, because he is an idiot, what he sees is how green the grass is somewhere else, even where he has already been in the past, simply because it is over there, not where he is at right now. you don't want this kind of person in your life I agree, he's just being an idiot tbh. He claims he doesn't like me purely because I told his girlfriend he's on Tinder. I think they've broken up now. I wonder how she'll react if she saw the conversation between me and him. (No point showing her tbf, I'm going to let him deal with it). It's his loss, sadly deep down I do still love and miss him but I can't forgive him what he's done to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmyKaur Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 There's your mistake, right there. Why on earth did you respond? Just tell him yes you hate him and do not respond to him any more. Problem solved. Why do you give 2 short ships whether HE is still in love with YOU? Do you want him back or something? If not then simply MOVE ON and stop analysing his actions. He is your past. Look to the future. I know this is going to sound pathetic but here it goes. I responded because I was curious to what he had to say to me after all this time had passed. Sadly, deep down I do still love and miss him but I can't forgive him what he's done to me. I do want him back but his family will not accept me and us being together. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I can't forgive him what he's done to me. I do want him back ?? This seems contradictory. You can't forgive him but you want him back? That doesn't make much sense to me. What I think you mean is, you want the idea of what you want him to be, not the reality of what he actually is. Unfortunately you need to accept that he is not, and will never be, what you want him to be. You need to cut contact and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmyKaur Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 ?? This seems contradictory. You can't forgive him but you want him back? That doesn't make much sense to me. What I think you mean is, you want the idea of what you want him to be, not the reality of what he actually is. Unfortunately you need to accept that he is not, and will never be, what you want him to be. You need to cut contact and move on. You're absolutely right. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) Do you think he's still in love with me considering the questions he was asking me? No. If he was in love with you he wouldn't have dumped you for the other girl. He was just being friendly with you and naturally curious about what you've been up to. Plus it has been a while since you two broke up and if he wanted you he would have made it known by now. Why did you tell his gf he was on Tinder? Are you two friends or something? Edited July 24, 2015 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmyKaur Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 No. If he was in love with you he wouldn't have dumped you for the other girl. He was just being friendly with you and naturally curious about what you've been up to. Plus it has been a while since you two broke up and if he wanted you he would have made it known by now. Why did you tell his gf he was on Tinder? Are you two friends or something? Tbf, it is my mistake for matching with him as me and him never end well. It's just the whole conversation was weird. We spoke to each other on Tinder and he's always been active on Tinder. I suppose he could have been curious as this is the second time I know about he's checked up on me. We couldn't be together because his family don't approve of me. If his family approved, we'd still be together. She has the right to know that her boyfriend's on Tinder and if he's been speaking to me he could have also spoken to other girls. He was continuously active and kept his profile up to date e.g. photo's. Nope we're not friends. I think it's best if I just forget about him completely like I did before and move on with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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