Karate Girl Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I been talking to this guy for about 5 weeks. He responded to a friendship ad that I had placed on a classifieds site. Immediately we clicked. We have almost everything in common. We exchanged pics and had mutual attraction. He lives about an hour and a half away from me, but we got USA- Canada border seperating us. He was texting me all day and even would call me all night. He even ran his phone bill up to $1000. He keeps saying that he loves me. I said it back. He made me feel good about myself, and I really loved his attention. One time I had a personal crisis, and he called to see if I am ok. I believed that he cared for me, he told me he did. Just this past week things declined. He hardly ever texts. It went from all day now to one or two texts a day. He told me that girls called him ugly and he had bad luck with women. I made him feel good, because I think he is very attractive. He told me to call him a few days ago. I got caught up and told him hold on. I called him and I could tell he hit ignore. That hurt. He hardly texts me anymore and hasn't called me. I kinda got mad that he hasn't been communicating with me. I know he reads my texts and replies when he wants. I developed feelings for him. I wasn't over an ex, but since I met this new guy I got over my ex. My gut keeps spinning. I have trust issues. I don't know if I can trust this new guy. Why does he keep saying he loves me, but hardly communicates anymore. I even told him maybe he should find somebody in his area and he got upset. I said that cause it was hurting me how I felt I am being ignored. Seems like he wants to hold onto me, but he hardlt talks to me anymore. I don't wanna say he is seeing somebody, but why the sudden halt in communicating. I don't understand. Should I just forget about this guy. Oh yeah, kinda hinted a couple times I wanna meet he didn't say anything. A whole month he would text me while at work and call me. I miss it so much I fell in love with him. Can somebody help me understand this. Could it be he is seeing somebody. At times when he would call me I would hear alerts going off on his phone, like is he was getting emails or text. My gut telling me don't trust him. He made himself out to be the one that gets hurt and innocent. I know some people do that. Should I just walk away, not reply if he texts me, or just go with the flow? Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 If you already have trust issues then a having a long distant relationship must feel like torture. You haven't met him face to face so it is hard to know what his circumstances and intentions really are. He could be seeing someone else or perhaps was already in a relationship. It's hard to know with so much distance between you. His attempts at avoiding the topic of meeting is a bit suspicious considering he the amount of contact there has been. It is possible he likes the idea of relationship more than the reality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 OMG. This has huge red flags all over it on both sides. You placed an ad for friendship & are OK with some strange guy you never met saying I Love You after 35 measly days? And you are saying it back. Oh boy. In the face of a "personal crisis" you turn to this stranger? Really? There was no one closer? This was never real. At best he was a rebound . . . a way for you to realize that others will find you attractive after you broke up with your EX. You need to learn to set up better more realistic boundaries for yourself before something truly awful befalls you. Please be careful & not quite so naive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karate Girl Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 He started to text me all day like he used to today. He was mad cause I wouldn't tell him my last name, when I did he is texting now. Says he wants kids too. The red flags are saying he loves me and he never met me. Thanks for the advice 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Classic manipulation technique. Go and google love bombing, it's always followed up with the suddenly distant strategy. The guy is a user and thinks you'll make a good victim. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karate Girl Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Guess what! So today we are texting, and he asked me to send him a pic. So I took a selfie in my car. So he started texting me all throughout the day. Then this evening he sent a text that he had something important to tell me, but was beating around the bush. So I am sitting with a friend, and he sends a text. He told me that he has HSV 2. I froze. Then he got depressed and said that I can do better, and going on about how ugly he is. I freaked out and I am in shock. He tells me he had it for ten years and a woman that said she loved him cheated and gave it to him. Oh, I just wanna let you guys know that this dude used to be an mma figher, and he thinks that will impress me, cause he keeps telling me he is. It took him this long to tell me he had an std. He was talking about having sex with me. Omg I am so scared. I think I should drop this guy. He putting guilt trips on me that ecery woman left him and this and that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Come on. An hour and a half away from each other and in all this time neither one of you ever made plans to meet face to face? Yet he's telling you he loves you - even though he didn't even know your last name? People cross the border into Canada all the freakin time. Jeez, it's not like trying to get behind the iron curtain or something. That's a completely lame excuse. My husband has to go to Canada often for work - it's not a big deal. How old are you two? Of course he's spending time with other girls. That's obvious. Stop wasting your time on some faceless guy that's probably having a great time with all the attention you're giving him. If anything, he's probably already got a girlfriend and she caught his sorry ass, thus the sudden decline in his contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karate Girl Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 There is a reason why he was holding back on meeting, and yeah I found it very strange why we haven't. He told me he has genital herpies, and I think atm he has an outbreak. I am not going near him. Not worth the risk. I do give him credit for telling me. Most people would not tell they have. He seemed upset because I told him I can't do this anymore. I would rather be safe than sorry. I just don't trust him. Yeah when I talk to him on the phone last night he gets alot of messages. So he is looking like a player. Its true not far from me and never met. This is just pathetic but I am glad I left! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 There is no upside to this guy. Anybody who says they love somebody they have never met when they don't even know the person's last name as no idea what love is. He's probably lying about the MMA thing but even if he's not, that is not a plus on the relationship resume. Finally he has an STD. Just leave him be. Re-examine your own motives & interactions here. You started all this by saying here on LS you were looking for friendship but you discuss kids & STDs. . . You need to stay off the internet. It can only bring bad things into your life until you develop better, more effective filters / BS detectors. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Your situation is not unusual. Being fresh out of a breakup makes anyone be emotionally vulnerable. Fear, sadness, low self esteem, loneliness, are feelings that trigger a hunger for attention. Placing an ad like that, makes you a target. He saw your emotional vulnerability and knew exactly what you needed to hear. The internet is full of predators looking for the emotionally weak that are ripe for manipulation. You put yourself in a dangerous situation. You don't know who this guy is, if he is a player, a con artist, a criminal, or even a rapist. You are best to never disclose your identity, personal information, phone number, etc to anyone you talk to on the net. If you are looking for friendship, look to social events, or social type clubs in your area. Maybe reconnect with old school buddies, coworkers, or family members. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karate Girl Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 (edited) Yeah, today he text me to meet him. After he disclosed his STD status. Yeah found it very strange why he kept telling me that he has been single, and women reject him. He is not a bad looking guy, and he is an mma fighter. He kept saying on the weekend he has something important to tell me. Then he told me. I was shocked. He is desperate because nobody wants to put themselves in that kind of risk. He told me he wants to kill himself and could never love again if I left him. I don't care. I do not want any diseases. Never had one, don't ever want it. I keep trying to get the f$&% away from him, and he is laying mad guilt trips on me. So I am just ignoring him. He needs to hook up with somebody that has the same status as him and in his area Edited May 27, 2015 by Karate Girl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Hopefully he's just laying a guilt trip on you but understand no matter what he chooses to do with his life that is on him, not you. Don't meet him. Block him. Move on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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