I caught her cheating with my friend

[timp1990]

This is quite the story... I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 23, we've been together for 6 years. We moved in together 6 months ago and started using the same computer. Our new mac saves passwords and we set up all our accounts to save our sign in information... all but her email account which I thought was strange. I was able to go into the keychain and see what her passwords were for her other accounts and tried it under her gmail account and it works.

 

Well now I know why she didn't save her sign in information for her gmail. It's because that's the main way her and my friend communicate.

 

I found out that they have been sleeping together for about 3 years. Actually to be exact, the first time was June 19 2012!! She didn't delete any of her emails, I was able to see how it started with all their flirty emails to each other right up to this morning when they emailed each other.

 

I found out about this 2 weeks ago, the part I'm confused about though... is I find I like knowing!! It turns me on and I don't know why! I even find myself trying to make it as easy as possible for her to see him!!

 

Today we were both supposed to go to his house to help him unpack boxes because he just moved into a new apartment. I decided to say I wasn't feeling good and didn't want to go but made sure she knew I was fine if she still went. Of course she looked at me strange and I assured her that I completely trust both of them. Well after she left I checked her email and she sent him one saying, in an excited way that it was just going to be her showing up because I was sick. His response simply said "BONUS".

 

They're together right now as I write this and the things going through my head, on what they are most likely doing is overwhelming! I'm so turned on at the thought of them together in bed and I don't understand why. Like numerous times before, when she gets home I'll put the moves on her and we'll have sex and pretend like I can't tell she recently had sex.

 

I can go on and on about examples on how I made it so easy for them to be together but I would honestly be writing for hours!! They get together an average of 2 times a week and they always make their plans via email so I can see it all.

 

But why do I feel like I do? I'm so confused. I'm not worried about losing her because she has even told him how much she loves me and would never even think of leaving me. She has made it a point to him that what they have is strictly a sex thing. While it makes me feel better she doesn't want to leave me, it's still confuses me on why I let it happen. It confuses me why I like reading their emails and even looking at pictures they send each other. And yes, there has been pictures of them doing things which I think is insanely hot.

 

Ugh... help!!

[Space Ritual]

WTF are you 2 doing? Smoking a Pallet full of SPICE? lol

 

Seriously, grow up and find you get excited by something else so you don't end up on a Jerry Springer about being a happy cuckold.

 

Are you SURE you ain't smoking something? lol

[central]

Your attitude is unusual, but not unheard of. It sounds like a cuckold fetish, only she doesn't know you know which makes it different than the usual way it plays out. Sharing a partner also isn't common, but not unusual either.

 

 

Anyway, this probably isn't sustainable as is - if you want that. IF you want it to continue, then eventually you'll all have to acknowledge what's going on and agree to it. However, if you want to end it at some point, you don't know who she'll choose - if either of you. Regardless, you know for certain that you can't trust her or your friend. They will lie and cheat and not care about you, and that is the key problem here, whether or not the situation turns you on.

[CarrieT]

Google and read up about cuckolding. It might be just the fetish for you.

 

At some point you might be able to confess to your girlfriend that you know and it's okay.

 

But first and foremost, you have to deal with the issue of STDs, because who knows whom else he had been sleeping with and if they are using protection or not.

[timp1990]

Your attitude is unusual, but not unheard of. It sounds like a cuckold fetish, only she doesn't know you know which makes it different than the usual way it plays out. Sharing a partner also isn't common, but not unusual either.

 

 

Anyway, this probably isn't sustainable as is - if you want that. IF you want it to continue, then eventually you'll all have to acknowledge what's going on and agree to it. However, if you want to end it at some point, you don't know who she'll choose - if either of you. Regardless, you know for certain that you can't trust her or your friend. They will lie and cheat and not care about you, and that is the key problem here, whether or not the situation turns you on.

 

 

They have been doing this for 3 years and our relationship has been sustainable, in a sense has even been better as time goes on. I had to look up cuckold lol. And I'm not sure that this is what it is. Maybe in a way but not the typical cuckold. Hmm idk but thanks.

[stillafool]

Welcome to the world of cuckhold. Tell her you like it maybe they will let you watch from the closet.

[timp1990]

Google and read up about cuckolding. It might be just the fetish for you.

 

At some point you might be able to confess to your girlfriend that you know and it's okay.

 

But first and foremost, you have to deal with the issue of STDs, because who knows whom else he had been sleeping with and if they are using protection or not.

 

I agree about the STD's. I was happy to see that my girlfriend demands he wears one but I also know they do other stuff... oral. But yes, it is a concern. I've even started conversations with my friend to see if he's sleeping around. He seems to play it safe. Thanks

[timp1990]

Welcome to the world of cuckhold. Tell her you like it maybe they will let you watch from the closet.

 

I think that's why it's not cuckold. I looked it up and I'm not really into watching them or being humiliated or anything like that. I just like knowing and reading what they say. the few pictures I've seen of them were nice, but that's all I'd want... never watching though

[timp1990]

WTF are you 2 doing? Smoking a Pallet full of SPICE? lol

 

Seriously, grow up and find you get excited by something else so you don't end up on a Jerry Springer about being a happy cuckold.

 

Are you SURE you ain't smoking something? lol

 

We don't smoke

[casey.lives]

i think it's a way of taking your power back because he is betraying you whether you like it or not. some people let themselves hate and feel pain and others get more creative. Hate and anger are difficult feelings to accept and admit to

[timp1990]

i think it's a way of taking your power back because he is betraying you whether you like it or not. some people let themselves hate and feel pain and others get more creative. Hate and anger are difficult feelings to accept and admit to

 

That's a good point!! When I first started reading the emails I first felt anger towards both of them, then of course I started to get turned on. But yeah, knowing and allowing it to happen I guess can make me think I have power over it. There's also been times when I was able to stop it from happening... so in a way I do have power over it.

[stillafool]

So what are you going to do? Just continue to get turned on by their affair and not do anything?

[timp1990]

So what are you going to do? Just continue to get turned on by their affair and not do anything?

 

That's my immediate plan. As far as the taking power back thing.. I always wonder what I would do if she changed her password and I couldn't find out when they make plans, or if they start texting instead. I would hate not knowing when they do and if something like that ever happens, I think I would tell her or something. The biggest thing for me now is knowing when they do. It's weird!!

[casey.lives]

you shouldn't worry about it until it happens. you asserted yourself and that's it. save all of your energy and your thoughts for your "ladies".lol

she should get the picture.

[timp1990]

Well she just called and on her way home. I have no idea if they did anything but I can probably bet anything they did. Why wouldn't they?

 

After seeing the word cuckold for the first time today, that's what I've been reading about. It's interesting but I don't think it's exactly what's going on, but I've also only read about for a total of about 30 minutes in my life lol.

[jen1447]

Cuckold is a general thing that encompasses a variety of related behaviors. You're definitely a cuckold.

 

That said, I'd suggest you come clean about knowing, because strange as it sounds, your GF might resent you for keeping secrets if she finds out, and that's the thing - this isn't sustainable in its current form, so yes, she'll find out eventually. You almost gave it away already with the comment about trusting her. She's gonna smell a rat sooner or later as you keep being clueless and giving them endless opportunities.

[Space Ritual]

but I've also only read about for a total of about 30 minutes in my life lol.

 

 

lol at least you have a sense of humor about it.

 

Seriously if you are happy, let her know but I agree with the others about the STD angle. And you do of course realize as Central said previously that you can no longer trust either of them regardless of how this comes out.

 

Good luck.

[road]

I think that's why it's not cuckold. I looked it up and I'm not really into watching them or being humiliated or anything like that. I just like knowing and reading what they say. the few pictures I've seen of them were nice, but that's all I'd want... never watching though

 

 

You do not have to be humiliated to be a cuckold. Liking it or not also has nothing to do with being cuckold.

 

 

Being cheated on is the only requirement. And that requirement is being met.

[jen1447]

The cuckold fetish specifically will generally involve the cuckold getting some pleasure out of it tho. OP fits the bill on that one.

[ascendotum]

Cuckold is a general thing that encompasses a variety of related behaviors. You're definitely a cuckold.

 

That said, I'd suggest you come clean about knowing, because strange as it sounds, your GF might resent you for keeping secrets if she finds out, and that's the thing - this isn't sustainable in its current form, so yes, she'll find out eventually. You almost gave it away already with the comment about trusting her. She's gonna smell a rat sooner or later as you keep being clueless and giving them endless opportunities.

 

So the gf will resent him for secretly knowing she was secretly cheating on him....well tough for her. So hypocritical if she did. From my perspective screw that she got plenty of enjoyment out of this situation, but from the OPs perspective if he'd be devastated if she left, then its valid. The 'trusting her' comment was good. It might put a twinge of guilt or regret in her. If she notices the last account activity on her gmail the jig will be up. Its possible she might not go with a cuckold scenario...find it weird or it will take the fun out having a dirty little secret life.

 

This post certainly didn't turn out like I expected. The cuckold aspect I can understand some guys get off on it, but usually its from watching the wife get off...and usually with a recruited stranger. When its at this more dissociated, one way level, I don't get it. The other aspect I don't get is how the OP can not be furious with his friend doing the dirty on him with his gf. To me there is a higher level of betrayal when its screwing with one of your friends.

Edited April 27, 2015 by ascendotum

[RemainUnchanged]

OP,

 

 

 

are you Swedish by chance?

[timp1990]

Thanks everyone for your responses! I am not swedish.

 

And one comment I read about saying I trust her completly might put a little guilty in to her was my point exactly. I was curious if she still would and while I'm not 100% sure they did yesterday, I'm sure they would have given the chance they had.

 

I don't see how she would get mad at me if she finds out I know, after all she is the one cheating.

[aliveagain]

Well she just called and on her way home. I have no idea if they did anything but I can probably bet anything they did. Why wouldn't they?

 

(Please see his bonus comment, it's a given, they had sex)

 

After seeing the word cuckold for the first time today, that's what I've been reading about. It's interesting but I don't think it's exactly what's going on, but I've also only read about for a total of about 30 minutes in my life lol.

 

A hard core cuckold would want to have sex with her knowing she's been with another man, cuck's are the cleanup guys. Many are bisexual, are you bisexual?

 

The point here is that for most of your relationship your GF has been deceiving you, so has your friend. This is not about your getting turned on, this is about your girlfriends lack of boundaries and long term infidelity. She is in a 3 year long term affair with your buddy, a whole other life, trust is non existent, relationships without trust don't succeed. The risk you have sharing your girlfriend with other men is loosing her to the right other man. Happens all the time in swinger situations, one of them eventually falls in love.

[Chi townD]

I think you guys are chasing bunnies on this thread.

 

 

BUNNIES!!! :bunny:

[timp1990]

I'm not bisexual and just to clarify... I know it's wrong what she's doing, I know she's deceived me and I know he's deceived me... that makes it all the more confusing to me because I like knowing what they say to each other and what they do. Sometimes I don't want them to do anything, sometimes I wish they would. Sometimes I feel guilty... I don't know... I guess that's why I had to post, just to be able to tell someone.