mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 My ex fiancé cheated on me and it nearly killed me. Its been 16 months since he has left me and I am on the road to recovery. I am over the scumbag. But. A friend of mine says she has seen his profile on POF recently. I thought he was single but apparently not. In fact he is pretty "serious" with his current girlfriend. Supposedly "happy" and "loved up" with her. She is a 39 year old single mum with two boys. He is repeating his cheating patterns with her now. I know its non of my business anymore but it infuriates me to know that he is gonna end up hurting this woman like he did me. I know where she lives and I have her number. Should I just leave this alone and be glad my time with him is over...or should I warn his girlfriend about him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 God I hate repeat cheaters. They never learn because they don't care 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I would tell her. I would do it in a very calm way. I wouldnt make it sound like your just a bitter person. There is nothing wrong with doing the right thing. I am sorry you were cheated on. Cheating is such a horrible thing. It sure has made my life difficult. Clay 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 A friend of mine says she has seen his profile on POF recently. You should tell your friend that you don't give a carp about your scumbag ex and don't ever want to hear his name again. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 My ex fiancé cheated on me and it nearly killed me. Its been 16 months since he has left me and I am on the road to recovery. I am over the scumbag. But. A friend of mine says she has seen his profile on POF recently. I thought he was single but apparently not. In fact he is pretty "serious" with his current girlfriend. Supposedly "happy" and "loved up" with her. She is a 39 year old single mum with two boys. He is repeating his cheating patterns with her now. I know its non of my business anymore but it infuriates me to know that he is gonna end up hurting this woman like he did me. I know where she lives and I have her number. Should I just leave this alone and be glad my time with him is over...or should I warn his girlfriend about him? Are you well and truly over him? Are you really doing this for her or are you doing this for your revenge on him? Be clear and honest with yourself on why you are doing this. Oh, and you need to tell your friend to quit coming to you telling on your ex. What he does now is no longer your concern. You are a bit too extra for someone you say you're over. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I would tell her. I would do it in a very calm way. I wouldnt make it sound like your just a bitter person. There is nothing wrong with doing the right thing. I am sorry you were cheated on. Cheating is such a horrible thing. It sure has made my life difficult. Clay OP--Make sure you print out the page if you're going to confront her because just telling her will make it sound like you're trying to get him back and are lying to drive a wedge between them--she won't believe you without proof. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Unless you had a relationship with your EX's new GF before they hooked up, stay out of it. If you call her, she's going to think you are a crazy stalker chick obsessed with your EX & only trying to stir up drama. Ignore him & everything he does. He's dead to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Don't worry about it, she will find out eventually like you did. She will learn her lesson not to date someone that is cheating on their SO.....more often than not history repeats itself. Is there not a website called don't date this guy.com lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 No direct contact in either direction. No sending. No receiving. No replies. No indirect contact through third parties. *'No little birds' feeding you news* Plug the holes if you want peace of mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Ideally you need to reach a point you just don't care what he does anymore. I agree the woman will probably end up hurt -- although some women prefer to act like they don't notice cheating and enable them to keep them. You don't know her. He's probably raked you over the coals and she probably already thinks you're the crazy ex so you'll have no credibility if you do tell her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 You should tell your friend that you don't give a carp about your scumbag ex and don't ever want to hear his name again. OP this friend is a lovely person. He contacted her and she had to tell me because she felt awful about it. I am glad she did 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Are you well and truly over him? Are you really doing this for her or are you doing this for your revenge on him? Be clear and honest with yourself on why you are doing this. Oh, and you need to tell your friend to quit coming to you telling on your ex. What he does now is no longer your concern. You are a bit too extra for someone you say you're over. Yes I am definitely over him. I wouldn't take him back after what he put me through. But I am not over what he put me through. That will take time. That pain will still rear it's ugly head once in a while. He put me through sheer hell and it's hard to sit back and watch him do it to someone else. I am doing this for her..if I do go ahead with it. Not sure 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Unless you had a relationship with your EX's new GF before they hooked up, stay out of it. If you call her, she's going to think you are a crazy stalker chick obsessed with your EX & only trying to stir up drama. Ignore him & everything he does. He's dead to you. Yes he is but I find it hard to ignore it. It's like watching a child get bullied, someone being robbed. It stirs something very strongly in me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Don't worry about it, she will find out eventually like you did. She will learn her lesson not to date someone that is cheating on their SO.....more often than not history repeats itself. Is there not a website called don't date this guy.com lol But that's the point I am making. I warn her and she has less hurt. I don't want her to go through what I went through. It nearly killed me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 No direct contact in either direction. No sending. No receiving. No replies. No indirect contact through third parties. *'No little birds' feeding you news* Plug the holes if you want peace of mind. Too late cause I know he is on a dating site. That wasn't me fishing. It just happened. So I just ignore it and let him do the same thing to another innocent single woman with two young children.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 This ex of mine was having an affair while we were engaged and making weddings plans! I poured my entire heart and soul into this man. It wrecked me when I found out that he was a player. My poor son was heart broken too. It was a mess for years. Read my threads. And now he is repeating with another mum with children....oh dear 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Too late cause I know he is on a dating site. That wasn't me fishing. It just happened. So I just ignore it and let him do the same thing to another innocent single woman with two young children.... You have to do what your own conscience and personal values demand. I'm not judging you on this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Ideally you need to reach a point you just don't care what he does anymore. I agree the woman will probably end up hurt -- although some women prefer to act like they don't notice cheating and enable them to keep them. You don't know her. He's probably raked you over the coals and she probably already thinks you're the crazy ex so you'll have no credibility if you do tell her. I have lots of proof. Lots of it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty_nine Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Too late cause I know he is on a dating site. That wasn't me fishing. It just happened. So I just ignore it and let him do the same thing to another innocent single woman with two young children.... no. tell her. as someone who could've been saved a whole lot of hurt had I known sooner what a scumbag the guy had been in the past, TELL HER. Just don't have any further contact with her or him or it'll mess up your progression in moving past him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 no. tell her. as someone who could've been saved a whole lot of hurt had I known sooner what a scumbag the guy had been in the past, TELL HER. Just don't have any further contact with her or him or it'll mess up your progression in moving past him. I am thinking the same. Had someone told me that I was dating a cheater, I would have been more cautious and not fallen for him like I did. I wouldn't have gotten engaged to him and wasted all that time and money on someone I thought he was. The outcome would have been different. But because no one told me that he cheats, I ended getting extremely hurt and I had to take anti depressants and have councelling for months and months. It's changed me for life 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Even if she doesn't believe you, you can at least know you tried. At this point, I'm thinking that I would say something too... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mangetout Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Even if she doesn't believe you, you can at least know you tried. At this point, I'm thinking that I would say something too... I think the same but my god does it scare me. I hate confrontation 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I would take a screen shot of his profile page, print it out and put it in her letterbox. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I think the same but my god does it scare me. I hate confrontation If I did something like that I'd try to be detached from the outcome, no needing to be believed, etc. Just do it and be done with it. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Why not ask the friend to tell her? Maybe even link her to the profile (make a screenshot!). This way you won't look like a stalker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts