Relationships Abroad

[coelmorgan]

So I'm an exchange student abroad in Denmark for one year and I have a girl back at home. We've been dating for little over 3 months now, I love her and she has the equal amount of love for me. But I went to a party and had a chance to hook up with a girl, and I didn't do it solely because I wasn't forward enough; she clearly wanted to get with me though having showing all the signs and moves. I wasn't exactaly distant and I didn't tell her I had a relationship back home either. I have asked my friends, brother and host sister what they would do and they all say: they would either break up with her or "what happens abroad, stays abroad". The challenge for me is, with this girl it was one of those best friend turned to girlfriend things and it's real special. The other problem is I can't get the thought of my mind of getting with other girls while on my exchange year And keeping it from her.

 

So my question is whats your opinion on what I should do?

 

Thank you

Coel Morgan

[ascendotum]

Quite the dilemma eh. If you knew you had this year abroad coming up,you really should have held back from getting serious with your gf. You said she was a good friend so there was always the chance you could get a 2nd bit of the apple when you land back in the country next year. If you breakup now though that wont likely happen and you might kill the friendship too. You really should just have had the discussion before and made it a fling.

 

imo, you need to have a heart to heart talk with your gf, and try put the relationship on ice for the year, and if not then break up rather than cheat on her. You sound like you have not been there that long, and you already tempted, so there will be more. You don't get these opportunities to be overseas & young too often, so I think you should make the most of it and breakup (it really comes down to what you value most).

[No Limit]

Break up with your GF and keep your dignity.

[ExpatInItaly]

"What happens abroad stays abroad"

 

Er, no. That is an incredibly selfish and insensitive attitude, and I very much hope you don't give any consideration to this crappy advice.

 

I think you need to break up with your girlfriend, as it seems the temptation to stray is going to weigh heavily on you and it's better to end it before you cross a line. A year is an awfully long time to be apart from a loved on, particularly when the relationship is so new.

[malinee]

I assume you're really young, probably early twenties?

 

It's normal to feel that way. I studied abroad for two years when I was in my early twenties and I had a few affairs while abroad and I know I needed that. The difference is, that I didn't have a boyfriend while abroad. I broke up with my boyfriend before going abroad, because I realized that I don't love him enough to promise him that I'll be faithful. Maybe I really didn't love him enough, or maybe I was just too young. BUT I would have never hurt him like that. Cheating is wrong, it doesn't matter in what situation.

 

If you knew you're going abroad and you knew you wanted to experience being with other girls, you shouldn't have gotten serious with your gf in the first place. Now that you're seriously considering to cheat on her, all I can say is BREAK UP WITH HER NOW. She deserves better. Once you're broken up with her, you can hook up with any girl you want. Not before that. Don't be that person. I'm sure you also wouldn't want to be treated that way. 'What happens abroad stays abroad' is the worst advice anyone could ever give.

[No Limit]

"What happens abroad stays abroad"

 

By the way OP, whoever those people were who gave you this advice, don't get too close to them. They're honest about lieing to you now and they won't feel bad about backstabbing you in the future.