gayane Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Hi there everybody I guess I need an opinion of someone form outside as i feel im not being able to process this situation objectively. So im a 28 straight women seeing a guy (36) for the last 8 months. I feel that we have a very good and harmonious relation. He is a bit distanced but we talked about this and he clams that he has problems with opening up. I never pushed and tried to be respectful of how much is he willing to shear. >Things are going great in a way that i feel like we are supportive of each other we meet each other families and friends and we always have great time together. We dont live together but sleep over at each other places about 5 nights a week. It all seems like it should be but.... Some time ago I was contacted by a man on FB who claimed that he is my mans boyfriend and that he is cheating on both of us. I agreed to meet him and he told me this story about them being together for super long time but him not being open enough to admit his homosexuality... I decided to first confront the man im seeing about this before making any decisions so i showed him the message and described the meeting. He got furious and said that is his friend trying to ruin his life. He called this guy and scream at him and there was a lots of drama.... he severed that he likes me and has feeling for me and that this guy is someone with mental problems who is deeply unhappy and wants him to be unhappy as well. He admitted that they have been friends for a long time and they have been through a lot together but as friends not a couple and that he never had any kind of relationship with him... I decided to give him the benefit of a doubt as i love him and besides this incident there is nothing i could questions about US. And it has been good ever since. We have a wonder full relationship and moving to more serious levels... the only thing this guy is still stalking us; posting awful stuff on fb (i blocked him) sending million messages requesting attention, calling for few months now... I don't know how to proceed. When i asked my man why is he even keeping in touch with him and not just simply cutting him off he says that this guy need help and he is sorry for him and that he dosent want to end really long friendship just like that (why does this feel like he is talking about ex girlfriend ). He usually tells me about any contact between them so i don't feel bad but i know he doesn't tell me about all of it... he seems up-said about the whole situation but he just can send this guy to hell. The whole situation is really confusing for me and i don't know how to behave or what to feel... Please give me some thoughts about it Link to post Share on other sites
OMC Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Restaining order Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I would do some more digging into your BFs past....... Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Polygraph. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) There is a 99.7% (*) chance your bf has had sex with the other man and is in fact gay. Knowing that, do you want to stay with him? Please keep in mind that sex with a man who has sex with other men is high risk for you. http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/pdf/hiv_factsheet_ymsm.pdf You may want to read info on closeted gay men who maintain r/s with women. Is My Husband Gay? The Other Side of the Closet*|*William Dameron My husband?s secret gay life - Salon.com There are some key tests as to whether a many may be secretly gay: How To Identify Men "On The Down Low" | Page 3 | MadameNoire However, you've received data that is far more powerful: the plausible claims of the ex-bf and the important fact that your bf admits to friendship and connection. I'd argue you have all the info you need and now it's decision and action time. (*) I'm being generous with 0.3% doubt. Edited February 8, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Please give me some thoughts about it Your boyfriend is bi-sexual and has feelings for him. I don't know of any straight man who would allow one of his boys to interfere to the point this guy has let this man interfere and then turn around and say he feels sorry for him and doesn't want to end his friendship with him, even though this friend is ruining his relationships. No, something stinks here. Stop sleeping at his place and stop dealing with him until he has dealt with this friend of his. This friend has a place in this guy's life that he has allowed him to be just about on par with you. If he won't file for a RO on this guy, then you will know that there is truth to what the friend is saying. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Me personally would never date anyone with ex problems because I would never tolerate it. It's time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) There is a 99.7% (*) chance your bf has had sex with the other man and is in fact gay. Why are you going straight to gay? It kind of sounds like the guy likes to bang guys and gals. Edited February 8, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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