Brookie16 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 When someone cheats on you while they are really drunk. Is it true that they probably would never to do when they were sober. If they were thinking clearly maybe they wouldn't do it? A lot of cheaters blame being drunk to why they cheated but I don't buy it. Maybe they Wouldn't cheat while sober but I think they have thought about and would do it sober if a opportunity presented itself. Is it worse for a partner to cheat on you while they are drunk or is the same as being sober? Does it really matter if they were drunk or sober? They still cheated anyway and ruined everything but the cheater says it was mistake that happened because they were really drunk. What is everybody else's opinion? Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 No difference at all in how much it hurts- If the couple decides to reconcile than addressing the drinking issue needs to be put out there as well- There is no excuse to cheat-period- 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Either one is wrong. I believe getting drunk or buzzed gives them the boost to forget about their spouse so they can do it. They will do it sooner or later drunk or not. I have been drunk off my ass and I still knew what I was doing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 When you're drunk you inhibitions are lowered and your capacity for clear thinking and decision making significantly reduced. So yes, there is a difference, but the next question is, why did the person get drunk? Did they really believe they were in a safe environment where any temptations should be impossible to enact, or did they get drunk so they could use that as an excuse for behavior they wanted to engage in? If they use bad judgment (and not use drunkenness as a planned excuse) about getting drunk in situations where they could cheat, they are unlikely to use better judgment once drunk. IMO, getting that drunk in ANY situation is a really poor and irresponsible act - except maybe at home with your SO/spouse. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Is there a difference if you murder someone with a gun or a knife? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mal78 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 When someone cheats on you while they are really drunk. Is it true that they probably would never to do when they were sober. If they were thinking clearly maybe they wouldn't do it? A lot of cheaters blame being drunk to why they cheated but I don't buy it. Maybe they Wouldn't cheat while sober but I think they have thought about and would do it sober if a opportunity presented itself. Is it worse for a partner to cheat on you while they are drunk or is the same as being sober? Does it really matter if they were drunk or sober? They still cheated anyway and ruined everything but the cheater says it was mistake that happened because they were really drunk. What is everybody else's opinion? It's almost worst. If your ability to decipher what you are doing is wrong while drunk then the same would apply using protection. If you are sure, with out a doubt that protection was used than how was it so easy to remember that and not that you are attached. Drunk is a lame excuse. Too drunk would make you incapable to preform, anything less means they fully knew what was happening. Maybe not the reprocussions but that you are not with your partner. My bff has a bf that has history of cheating. He has a boys night on Friday nights where he gets completely sloshed. I asked if she is not worried he is cheating and she says no and if he did, "good luck to her". He has tried MANY times to have sex with my bff that drunk. Anything from peeing on the bed and falling asleep on top of her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 No, no difference. I don't care how drunk you are you know what you are doing, unless you are passed out. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Not morally. It could have other implications: does the cheater have a drinking problem too? was the cheater safe or does the betrayed person now how to go get an STD test because who knows what the drunk cheater actually did? etc. Cheating while drunk probably causes more problems but it's not an excuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Nope. Drunken actions are often sober intentions. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Being drunk is not an excuse that I would accept. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Is there a difference between cheating while you're drunk as opposed to being sober? Memory would be one potential difference, depending upon the severity of the drunkenness. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 When someone cheats on you while they are really drunk. Is it true that they probably would never to do when they were sober. If they were thinking clearly maybe they wouldn't do it? A lot of cheaters blame being drunk to why they cheated but I don't buy it. Maybe they Wouldn't cheat while sober but I think they have thought about and would do it sober if a opportunity presented itself. Is it worse for a partner to cheat on you while they are drunk or is the same as being sober? Does it really matter if they were drunk or sober? They still cheated anyway and ruined everything but the cheater says it was mistake that happened because they were really drunk. What is everybody else's opinion? No. Cheating is cheating. A drunk person knows they've got an exclusive relationship with someone other than who is in front of them at that moment. Stop drinking if you can't figure out right from wrong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brookie16 Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 It's almost worst. If your ability to decipher what you are doing is wrong while drunk then the same would apply using protection. If you are sure, with out a doubt that protection was used than how was it so easy to remember that and not that you are attached. Drunk is a lame excuse. Too drunk would make you incapable to preform, anything less means they fully knew what was happening. Maybe not the reprocussions but that you are not with your partner. My bff has a bf that has history of cheating. He has a boys night on Friday nights where he gets completely sloshed. I asked if she is not worried he is cheating and she says no and if he did, "good luck to her". He has tried MANY times to have sex with my bff that drunk. Anything from peeing on the bed and falling asleep on top of her. Well what happened my boyfriend said is they didn't get to sex but made out and he went down on her and they didn't have sex because he couldn't get it up first he said because he stopped things but I think it was because he was just too drunk whiskey dick Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 For the most part, I'd be willing to say that when you meet up with that guy or woman at the bar, your probably still sober and lets face it we all know when someone is coming on to you and when that happens you have a choice. Either let them know that in so many words, "Thanks but no thanks" or keep knocking them back and continue knowing that what your doing is flat out wrong, then after the deed is done, they have the nerve to blame the booze. Wrong. Blame it on yourself for letting things get out of hand and in the process not only screwing yourself up but pretty much destroying the one who loves you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brookie16 Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Not morally. It could have other implications: does the cheater have a drinking problem too? was the cheater safe or does the betrayed person now how to go get an STD test because who knows what the drunk cheater actually did? etc. Cheating while drunk probably causes more problems but it's not an excuse. Had a drinking problem yes and severe undiagnosed depression and anxiety but is now seeking help for it, wondering if it's something he did because he was drunk and depressed and they didn't have intercourse either because he couldn't get it up whiskey dick or he knew it was wrong not sure but they stopped before they had actual sex Link to post Share on other sites
aStranger Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Had a drinking problem yes and severe undiagnosed depression and anxiety but is now seeking help for it, wondering if it's something he did because he was drunk and depressed and they didn't have intercourse either because he couldn't get it up whiskey dick or he knew it was wrong not sure but they stopped before they had actual sex Lie upon lie. And he had sex with her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aStranger Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Drunk cheating? No difference to me at all. When a person is drinking its easier for them to give themselves permission to cheat. They have a built-in excuse so that they don't have to think of themselves as a nasty cheater. But that is what they are and its a feeble excuse that lots of cheaters use. The betrayed should never accept this as a justifiable reason for cheating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 he knew it was wrong not sure but they stopped before they had actual sex It doesn't matter if they did or didn't. He wanted to, and that's enough to finish it for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Well what happened my boyfriend said is they didn't get to sex but made out and he went down on her and they didn't have sex because he couldn't get it up first he said because he stopped things but I think it was because he was just too drunk whiskey dick What happened was they shared a level of intimacy that she didn't belong in with him... and that still doesn't erase the fact that he knew he was in an exclusive relationship with you. Fact is, he put his mouth where his johnson wouldn't go. He knew that that wasn't your kitty in his face. Not having intercourse doesn't erase the fact that it's still sexual. It doesn't erase the fact that SHE'S NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 It sucks because there is a difference. It doesn't excuse anyone's actions, but I think everyone would agree that they done something when they were drunk they wouldn't normally do and later regretted it. Prisons are full of people who don't actually even remember the actual offense because that got them in there because they were drunk. However, it doesn't excuse actions. It happened and I'm sure being drunk doesn't help because you know he'll be drunk again some day. You need to take in all the factors of his personality and past behavior when you make a decision on whether to stay. From what you've written, it doesn't sound like he's a keeper. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts