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Does this woman want to have an affair with me?


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Greetings,

 

First time posting here. I am a 33 year old man living in New York. I am married three years, great marriage, no kids, lovely wife, full communication, no fights, very in tune with each other, etc. Of course I look at other women, but I don't touch and I've never felt the desire to have an affair. DW and I are very stable and happy.

 

There is a woman who I know through creative circles and mutual friends. She is 40, married, three kids, lives around the corner from me, and we run into each other frequently at cultural events. Recently she has begin messaging me via text and facebook. We've met a couple of times under the pretense of her wanting to talk about my business and her arts-related stuff. She's constantly using language that suggests she has a bit of a "crush" on me, but I can't tell if she's just being flirtatious or wants to jump into bed. Examples include forward phrases like "I'd like to see you today if you have the time," and subtle/insecure things like "I hope I didn't offend you at our last meeting when I __________." Emoticons and flirtatious "winky" faces abound.

 

I'm a pretty strong-willed guy and I don't want to betray my wife, but this woman is beautiful and talented and can probably keep a secret. Am I mis-reading her signals? Am I being over-confident? Or does this gal want to see me naked?

 

Thanks, folks.

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No you are not misreading her signals. I recommend you cut off all communication with this woman, or your little happy marriage will hit the skids. You might be strong willed, but this woman may go fatal on you causing all kinds of crap, and that my friend is not what you will want to have to deal with. She is already showing the signs of over stepping her boundaries, so who knows what she will be capable of.....you tread very carefully. Out of respect for your wife and marriage, distance yourself from her.

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To keep your perspective: through out your life, you will be attracted to others, have crushes, those who will sweep you off your feet, make you feel alive, etc. BUT it can never ever replace the deeper love you and your wife have for each other.

This thing you are experiencing now is making you become short sighted, and if you fall into the temptation. Before you know it, you will find out what is at stake, it will be too late and you will lose everything. Not worth it.

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Vices-Virtues

 

I'm a pretty strong-willed guy and I don't want to betray my wife

.

 

Your answer is clear..

It doesn't matter if she wants to sleep with you, you love your wife and you would never betray her.

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Thanks,

 

I'm not really looking for advice on how to proceed (of course the typical response will be "don't do it--bad idea"), but rather IF I'm picking up the signals correctly. Some women are just insecure and like to push boundaries but never intent to follow through--they just like the attention.

 

So it would seem that my suspicions are correct. It's too bad I'm not a scoundrel...this woman is smoking hot. :)

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Au contraire, it doesn't take much for women to get so emotionally involved they slip into an emotional affair, and before they know it, it becomes physical.

 

Yes you are right women like her do the pursue to be pursued for titillation, but anything is possible, it can go beyond that.

 

I only warn you because atm it's all harmless.....many have come here that got caught up into it, and can't get out.

 

Oh well whatever goes on in your head is nobody's business am I right? ;)

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15 minutes of fun for a lifetime of guilt, no thanks...Not to mention if you get caught, your life is ruined. Tempting, yes, but the second you finish all you are going to think is, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge.

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Greetings,

 

First time posting here. I am a 33 year old man living in New York. I am married three years, great marriage, no kids, lovely wife, full communication, no fights, very in tune with each other, etc. Of course I look at other women, but I don't touch and I've never felt the desire to have an affair. DW and I are very stable and happy.

 

There is a woman who I know through creative circles and mutual friends. She is 40, married, three kids, lives around the corner from me, and we run into each other frequently at cultural events. Recently she has begin messaging me via text and facebook. We've met a couple of times under the pretense of her wanting to talk about my business and her arts-related stuff. She's constantly using language that suggests she has a bit of a "crush" on me, but I can't tell if she's just being flirtatious or wants to jump into bed. Examples include forward phrases like "I'd like to see you today if you have the time," and subtle/insecure things like "I hope I didn't offend you at our last meeting when I __________." Emoticons and flirtatious "winky" faces abound.

 

I'm a pretty strong-willed guy and I don't want to betray my wife, but this woman is beautiful and talented and can probably keep a secret. Am I mis-reading her signals? Am I being over-confident? Or does this gal want to see me naked?

 

Thanks, folks.

 

 

I can definitely relate to what your saying on here. I had a married woman around 35 flirt with me last week while I was doing a contracting job. She works as a makeup artist for the owner and she waited for the coast to clear out before asking me pointblank "how much do you like p*ssy?" I was stunned and didn't know what to say. I think it's just banter, nothing more or less even though she asked several other times during that same evening. Same goes for you, poster: just naughty playfulness not be taken seriously.

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gah makes me so sad to read this.

 

she is flirting with you sounds like.

 

Honest question. Why do guys cheat? Is it because they don't love their woman anymore? bored? how come they don't see it as big as a betrayal as women do?

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GorillaTheater
but this woman is beautiful and talented and can probably keep a secret.

 

Don't be That Guy. Those Guys wind up with their asses kicked, both literally and in the resulting divorce.

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I'm a pretty strong-willed guy and I don't want to betray my wife, but this woman is beautiful and talented and can probably keep a secret.

So... you don't want to betray your wife, but you do.

Riiiiiiight...

Do your wife a favour and divorce her before you begin your sordid affair.

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I'm a pretty strong-willed guy and I don't want to betray my wife, but this woman is beautiful and talented and can probably keep a secret.

 

You would betray your wife wouldn't you...

 

LOLOL

 

Don't be a cheater and a hypocrite

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dreamingoftigers

I don't want to betray my wife, BUT

 

 

 

 

 

Think about that.........

What comes before the BUT in that sentence has to weigh more than what comes after it.

 

It is a mutually exclusive choice, not a justifiable one.

 

And really, I don't think it sounds like affair texting. I talk like that all of the time to people. I really don't hope that my boss, husband's friend, church leader and pizza delivery guy don't think I am flirting with them....................

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ChicaBoom, why does it make you sad? I'm simply trying to figure out what the signals mean.

 

I have no intention of going through with it--I'm just here for a second opinion.

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You people make with laugh. I don't think I've ever encountered a more judgmental group of folks in my life.

 

I haven't said that am going to cheat on my wife. I'm simply here for a second opinion. Why is there so much anger directed at a guy who hasn't done anything?

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GorillaTheater
You people make with laugh. I don't think I've ever encountered a more judgmental group of folks in my life.

 

I haven't said that am going to cheat on my wife. I'm simply here for a second opinion. Why is there so much anger directed at a guy who hasn't done anything?

 

Don't confuse cynical amusement with anger.

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Justanaverageguy
You people make with laugh. I don't think I've ever encountered a more judgmental group of folks in my life.

 

I haven't said that am going to cheat on my wife. I'm simply here for a second opinion. Why is there so much anger directed at a guy who hasn't done anything?

 

I don't think anyone is angry. They simply find it funny how contradictory your final comment was to everything else in your post. You outlined how solid your relationship was, how good your wife was and how you loved her and your family. Said you didn't want to cheat. Then ended the post with a comment that alluded to the fact that you probably would under the proviso you could do it and get away with it.

 

Just comical more then anything I guess. Its like a little kid asking if its ok to steal a cookie from the cookie jar if no one finds out.

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Justanaverageguy
gah makes me so sad to read this.

 

she is flirting with you sounds like.

 

Honest question. Why do guys cheat? Is it because they don't love their woman anymore? bored? how come they don't see it as big as a betrayal as women do?

 

Just FYI - Recent studies actually show women cheat more then men do in today's times. Now given the same sexual freedom as men, women have shown themselves to be just as adept at the act of betrayal.

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You people make with laugh. I don't think I've ever encountered a more judgmental group of folks in my life.

 

I haven't said that am going to cheat on my wife. I'm simply here for a second opinion. Why is there so much anger directed at a guy who hasn't done anything?

 

 

Because you sound like you are ready too. You wouldn't be here asking if you didn't already know the answer to your question. You are putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

 

 

If you don't want to betray your wife, stop meeting/talking to this woman without your wife around.

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I don't think anybody here is angry but we're not stupid either. You totally gave yourself away in your first post. Quite obvious that you are entertaining the idea of an affair.

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Does this woman want to have an affair with me?

 

Reading the interactions, there's a strong possibility that she'd like the idea of you wanting to have an affair with her, not to be confused with actually having an affair. Think of it more like reading a romance novel. Fantasy. She'd feed off your attention. Pretty normal for MW's, real or potential. Is the risk worth the benefit? Only you can decide. Good luck!

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Lol OP, it's alright. No need to lie in the internet behind a username. You enjoy the attention that woman gives you, and would love to have some extra cake for sure.

 

Considering that you don't have any children yet that you could throw into jeopardy by being a bad example - divorce your wife, wait for the other woman to divorce (which she probably would, women are easier at this than men) and then have fun!

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You people make with laugh. I don't think I've ever encountered a more judgmental group of folks in my life.

 

I haven't said that am going to cheat on my wife. I'm simply here for a second opinion. Why is there so much anger directed at a guy who hasn't done anything?

 

OK buttercup...whatever you say.

 

If you're not going to cheat on your wife, you don't need a second opinion. You wouldn't care about any signals. Avoid the other woman.

 

You're being judged because the subtext of your post makes it abundantly clear that you're interested in an affair. People on this form weren't born yesterday. Your bullsh*t stinks from a mile away.

 

If your fragile ego can't take blunt honesty, that ain't our problem

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