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Hi Loveshack. I need opinions and insight because I am actually scared. This guy I know is friends with my other friends. I am not really friends with him, I'll say his name is "Don". Don has always showed possessive behavior towards me, jealousy and all! It was pretty bad, and that is why I don't talk to him at all. I see him when there are events with friends because my friends are friends with him, but I am NOT. Recently I went to a friend's Birthday party and Don was there. Me and friends were talking and he heard me say how much I like Ryan. He chimed in and said "REALLY?" in an angry tone.

 

He knew Ryan since he was a little child. But he always talked bad about Ryan, he always had a dislike towards him and Ryan expressed the same about Don. I talked to Ryan recently, and he was telling me how Don has been talking to him. That scared me because Don always showed a dislike and a hatred towards Ryan, even asking me for his number at times that is how irrelevant he was in his life, and after the party he is all of a sudden talking to him? Ryan said him and Don are talking but Ryan even said "Don has always been a little psycho". I fear this is stalker behavior. Maybe I am over-reacting? Hopefully! That is why I want some insight and opinions, because I said I liked Ryan at the party and Don was noticeably upset about it, and I was talking highly of him, then Don is all of sudden friends with him when he expressed he didn't like Ryan? I am kinda scared. Should I be? Or no? Tell me what you think about everything. And is this stalker behavior? Thanks so much!

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Stay away from this person Don. Don't engage him at all. He's a strange individual, but no, it's not stalker behaviour. I don't think you understand what a stalker truly is if you consider them being on speaking terms "stalking." It isn't. Their friendship (or lack thereof) is not your business. The only thing that matters is you. If this Don person scares you, keep your distance and tell you buddy Ryan you don't want to discuss him.

 

Out of curiosity, have you posted here before under a different screen name? This story sounds similar to others posted by a different user. Apologies if not.

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Stay away from this person Don. Don't engage him at all. He's a strange individual, but no, it's not stalker behaviour. I don't think you understand what a stalker truly is if you consider them being on speaking terms "stalking." It isn't. Their friendship (or lack thereof) is not your business. The only thing that matters is you. If this Don person scares you, keep your distance and tell you buddy Ryan you don't want to discuss him.

 

Out of curiosity, have you posted here before under a different screen name? This story sounds similar to others posted by a different user. Apologies if not.

 

Sorry, I shouldn't have said "stalking behavior", but it definitely irks me. No, I always had this account, I just haven't been on here in a long time. I came back :D Thanks for your insight.

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Sorry, I shouldn't have said "stalking behavior", but it definitely irks me. No, I always had this account, I just haven't been on here in a long time. I came back :D Thanks for your insight.

 

It may sound weird, but the way you describe Don's behavior, he may actually have feelings for you. Its odd, but when a guy truly likes a girl, sometimes we are unable to deal with the intense emotions that follow. This can lead to extremely odd behavior, weird comments, and even sporadic jealousy.

 

For example, I had this crush in the 6th grade (exactly 20 years ago today,) and any time I would see this particular girl, I would immediately begin acting strange. Quick story, we went on this field trip and she was seated behind me and my best friend on the bus. He figured it out, because I started shaking, I wouldn't look back and talk to her, and my whits were all but gone. He knew me so well that he straight up asked me if I had a crush on her, in her presence. (OMG, I died!!!!)

 

At age 31, I look back and laugh, but man that was some intense stuff. Me thinks your Don is going through the same thing with you! I could be wrong though, he could be a creeper.

Edited by Javelin
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File the info away but do nothing.

 

Don may be a bit off but he hasn't done anything illegal. Stay away from him & take care to avoid allowing him to know things about you.

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I wouldn't say the fact he is now talking to the guy you like as 'stalker behavior' or anything remotely related.

 

However, your gut feeling is telling you something and you should listen to it. Do not engage with 'Don' under any circumstance unless in a 'friends' setting (like a t the party)

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I agree to stay away, don't respond to or talk about this Don guy. Guys like him any kind of attention, even if it's negative, only feeds his creepy crush on you. It's one thing to have a crush on someone, it's another to manipulate or get all up in your business to get attention. You are ok because everyone else knows his game, and won't fall for any of his tactics to keep away other suitors. It might be a good idea to make yourself scarce by hanging out with other friends that don't associate with this dip sh it for a little while. I myself had to do this. I find the less they see you the quicker they start to for get about you.

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File the info away but do nothing.

 

Don may be a bit off but he hasn't done anything illegal. Stay away from him & take care to avoid allowing him to know things about you.

 

Yes. I can't do anything at the moment because technically he didn't do anything "harmful" yet. I have been distant from him for a LONG time. It's my friends that bring him around and invite him out to our outings or get-togethers. If it wasn't for that he would be COMPLETELY out of my life.

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I wouldn't say the fact he is now talking to the guy you like as 'stalker behavior' or anything remotely related.

 

However, your gut feeling is telling you something and you should listen to it. Do not engage with 'Don' under any circumstance unless in a 'friends' setting (like a t the party)

 

I don't engage with him. Even when he is in my presence, I completely ignore him. Just like I ignored him when he said "REALLY?!" in an angry tone, I just looked at him and walked away. Yes! My gut instinct is telling me there is something wrong, and I don't like that! I don't want to think the worst about Don, but he's pretty bad. I heard what he did to his ex girlfriend. It was terrible! Thanks!

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I agree to stay away, don't respond to or talk about this Don guy. Guys like him any kind of attention, even if it's negative, only feeds his creepy crush on you. It's one thing to have a crush on someone, it's another to manipulate or get all up in your business to get attention. You are ok because everyone else knows his game, and won't fall for any of his tactics to keep away other suitors. It might be a good idea to make yourself scarce by hanging out with other friends that don't associate with this dip sh it for a little while. I myself had to do this. I find the less they see you the quicker they start to for get about you.

 

Right on smackie9. Thank you. But this is running its course, he has been acting up for a long time now and I just feel like it keeps escalating and I seem to be right. Seems like time and distance doesn't matter. He somehow will be around or I will run into him at a store or something...it's terrible! It's like he's a leech. He never goes away or seems to lose attraction or interest in me. At least that's how I see it. I don't mean to say it in a rude tone. I don't want him dead, but it seems that time and distance doesn't do anything because he still acts creepy no matter what the circumstances are.

Edited by Kelly M
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What contributes to my fright of my Don is that he told me what he did to his ex girlfriend. It creep me out and it made me scared, that is why I backed off and didn't call him, or go out with him, cut him out quick! Because he told me his ex girlfriend "Rachel" was on and off with him. Well he was violent with her and that resulted him being in jail. He was saying how he "learned his lesson" and "changed" and that he's "not the person he use to be" I find that hard to believe, and I didn't believe it.

 

Then his ex got a new boyfriend and she told Don, that she moved on and found someone else. Well, Don somehow obtained her new boyfriend's phone number (he didn't explain how he got his #) Don and his ex girlfriend made sex tapes. Well, he sent those sex tapes to her new boyfriend. He did it to either embarrass her, or ruin their relationship, maybe both!:o. He plastered their sex tapes on social media. He said nasty, horrible, disgusting things about her. He was crude and graphic about her. He said such horrible things about her on social media and would write it about her on her social media, like Facebook, Instagram etc. And her boyfriend's page. He non stopped text her boyfriend, harassed them to the point where she called the cops, and he threatened them a lot. Saying he was going to "kill" them. That was it for me! I was frightened of that alone! I felt terrible for the ex, and what she had to endure. It made me sick. I made a vow to not speak to this psycho. And he is one.

 

He also told me that he made some of his other friends "stalk" for him. They would send him pictures of his ex and her boyfriend together, I don't know who would agree to do that, but either way I think it's absolutely pitiful! And wrong. He said to me all the time "I wish my ex f*****g dies!" He has said that to many other people too. He was disgustingly brutal about her. That alone scared the crap out of me! Don is a dangerous person, and that is why I am so scared because his past is a reminder. He is very nice and funny. That is what I was drawn to at first. His personality was so big, and bold. I loved it! But I see that he is really a psycho, and it's sad because he's a funny, nice, and cool person, (that's what he projects) but as time progresses, I see more and more how much of that psychotic behavior shines through and his true self. It just keeps escalating for me now. That is another factor why I am frighten of this individual.

Edited by Kelly M
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He isn't a funny, nice or cool person. He's disturbed and unstable and cruel. If you had initially provided some context for your concern about him asking for this other guy's phone number, I think all of us would have seen your point of view more clearly.

 

Anyway, continue to stay away from him. He's bad news. Ask your other friend not to speak to him about you. If he harasses you in any way, go to the police.

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This guy is a psychopath. With his history, what kind of people are willing to associate with him? These friends are not friends at all, they are idiots.

 

My advice, make new friends, and lose contact with them too.

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He isn't a funny, nice or cool person. He's disturbed and unstable and cruel. If you had initially provided some context for your concern about him asking for this other guy's phone number, I think all of us would have seen your point of view more clearly.

 

Anyway, continue to stay away from him. He's bad news. Ask your other friend not to speak to him about you. If he harasses you in any way, go to the police.

 

I stated that he projected that. He does have the classic signs of a Sociopath for sure. He came off as funny and charming, and fun! But his true self did show, and it all was all a front. Thanks.

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This guy is a psychopath. With his history, what kind of people are willing to associate with him? These friends are not friends at all, they are idiots.

 

My advice, make new friends, and lose contact with them too.

 

It baffles me too! I don't want any parts of him, yet a lot of people seem to like him. He is funny, and has that outgoing personality. I was shocked to hear what he did, but of course...a lot of people are making up excuses for him saying "well the ex did this" "the ex girlfriend did that" I don't care what she did, she did not deserve what he did to her though. I don't care...he's wrong. Point blank. And people don't seem to realize that or notice that. Especially women that stick up for him. I am thinking "He beat his girlfriend! Are you serious? you are going to take his side?" Stupid whores, and that is all that they are. What I don't get is that he told me all of this when he was trying to take me out. What makes him think I would like even more or even go out with him once he told me all what he did to his ex? That is another red flag. He obviously thinks it's ok to do things like that and talk about it to your potential date? To me that seems delusional. And the whole Ryan thing is scaring me because I am afraid he is going to do something drastic. I rejected him multiple multiple times, and I noticed his behavior is weird with me, and still possessive. I noticed it's escalating, it's getting creepier and creepier. It shouldn't be that way. It should be dead, long gone, in the past, moved on etc. But he keeps it alive and acts creepier and creepier every time I see him.

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It baffles me too! I don't want any parts of him, yet a lot of people seem to like him. He is funny, and has that outgoing personality. I was shocked to hear what he did, but of course...a lot of people are making up excuses for him saying "well the ex did this" "the ex girlfriend did that" I don't care what she did, she did not deserve what he did to her though. I don't care...he's wrong. Point blank. And people don't seem to realize that or notice that. Especially women that stick up for him. I am thinking "He beat his girlfriend! Are you serious? you are going to take his side?" Stupid whores, and that is all that they are. What I don't get is that he told me all of this when he was trying to take me out. What makes him think I would like even more or even go out with him once he told me all what he did to his ex? That is another red flag. He obviously thinks it's ok to do things like that and talk about it to your potential date? To me that seems delusional. And the whole Ryan thing is scaring me because I am afraid he is going to do something drastic. I rejected him multiple multiple times, and I noticed his behavior is weird with me, and still possessive. I noticed it's escalating, it's getting creepier and creepier. It shouldn't be that way. It should be dead, long gone, in the past, moved on etc. But he keeps it alive and acts creepier and creepier every time I see him.

 

What is he doing, and how often do you see him?

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I'm starting to think maybe you need a new circle of friends if he has people actively defending him after knowing what he's done. And I agree with whoever said you just need to ignore him which it sounds like what you're doing. Don't talk to him, don't smile at him, don't laugh at his jokes, if you can don't even look in his direction, if he asks you a question do not respond. Do not feed him ANY attention. The guy sounds dangerous.

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What is he doing, and how often do you see him?

 

I see him probably two times or 3 times a month. My one friend has bonfires all the time, and I usually go to them, but so does Don and it kinda kills my time with my other friends. At first he started off like he was really interested in me and I was interested in him, but then he started to open up to me a lot and told me about his ex. I was thinking "Whoa! Ok, you're weird" I wasn't agreeing or liking what he what he was saying. He then started to call me literally crying in tears saying what his ex did to him. I guess he was thinking I would give him pity and care. I thought to myself "wow, this guy is very unstable" it pushed me farther away from him. Then it turned into a thing where he stopped contacting me, but he would do weird things when I was face to face with him. He would act like he's my boyfriend, show up to my house and make up excuses like "Your dad said I can borrow his lawn mower" or "Your mom wanted me to landscape" Which is true, but still....it was weird. He got really possessive of guys. He told thi guy to back off because this guy was flirting with me, and then when I confronted Don about it, he said "I do stupid things when I am drunk and anyways you are too good for that guy" He is so jealous and I can't express that enough.

 

I have countless stories of his jealousy. He acts as if I am his girlfriend, when i'm not. He just seems to be getting worse with me though. Now he's acting kinda arrogant with me. I don't know why he's doing that. He's more rude with me, more jealous. Prime example was when I was talking to my other friend about Ryan, saying how much I liked him and Don just out of nowhere chimed in and looked at me and said "REALLY?" In an angry tone, and in a kinda of a raised voice. I was shocked, and just walked away. But that shows I can't mention guys names around him or he gets really jealous and I don't want to piss him off because he is dangerous. He'll stare at me and I use to hear the "I love yous" all the time, luckily he hasn't been saying that to me lately. But he still is acting creepy. Ryan even vouched and said "He's always been psycho" about Don. It's creepy and scary that he is out of the blue talking and befriending Ryan when he expressed so many times how much of a douchebag loser he is to him. How much he's a rich boy...I heard it all and he just didn't like him. So what, now he has a change of heart in a matter of a week or two? Wow! Sorry for the long reply, just trying to be as detailed as possible. Thanks so much!!! :)

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I'm starting to think maybe you need a new circle of friends if he has people actively defending him after knowing what he's done. And I agree with whoever said you just need to ignore him which it sounds like what you're doing. Don't talk to him, don't smile at him, don't laugh at his jokes, if you can don't even look in his direction, if he asks you a question do not respond. Do not feed him ANY attention. The guy sounds dangerous.

 

You are absolutely right! I do like my friends, but they kinda piss me off in that sense, but some of them don't agree with Don and don't like him. You know what is so funny is that even when I don't give him attention, he is worse. Like he'll scream my name multiple times, or say "Kelly look at this" It's like he's a kid, like "Look at me! Look at me!" When I ignore him. When he pissed me off one time because he kept mentioning this guy I dated, I ignored him and he kept saying "Don't do this to me" "Don't give me the cold shoulder" "I love you" He kept saying that because I was talking to other people and not acknowledging him and even our friends were saying "chill Don" "Stop it" Thank you for your input, and I think you are right. But like I said it seems to be worse when I ignore him for some odd reason.

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That's why I say get new friends, and stop going to these parties knowing he's going to be there.

 

This. And I hate to say this because it's not fair to you. You haven't done anything wrong and it's not fair that you should have to adjust your social life to a guy who sounds like a sociopath. And I'm not using that word lightly or as hyperbole. He sounds like a sociopath.

 

How to Spot a Sociopath: 20 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

 

If you see him at a party/bonfire or whatever I would just leave. Try to find out ahead of these social gatherings if he's going to be there. If so I just wouldn't show. I'd also tell your parents you don't feel comfortable around this guy and ask them not to associate with him. They need to know this. Also tell a close friend you can trust not to tell him at least. You need someone in your personal life to know you don't feel safe with this guy and why just in case he does do something.

 

And I would also keep ignoring him. For one any attention you give him, positive or negative, is just going to feed into his ego and keep his attention on you. Also it sounds like when he's frustrated, ignored, or he feels a shot to his ego he can't help but show his true colors even when other people are around.

 

Hopefully if you keep up this pattern of ignoring him his attention will move elsewhere. Unfortunately when you deal with people like him, they usually don't face any consequences until they do something serious to someone.

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