! I feel like I fell in love with my much older boss, and I think it is mutual.

[Legaleagle89]

Hi All,

 

To make it short, I think I love my boss, who is 15 years my senior, and I am pretty sure he fell in love with me over the last year that we've worked together as well. We started out not liking each other very much - he is outwardly the cold, dark and mysterious type. I threatened to quit a few months after I started working for him and he begged me to stay, which then I learned that on the inside he is extremely sweet and a great person. Since that time we became extremely close and spend a lot of extended time working together. We know all of each other's lives fairly well, and he's met a lot of my family and I have met a lot of his.

 

 

He is not married, but is in a serious relationship and got engaged a few months ago. He talks about his fiancee all the time, and since I am single I tell him about the guys that I date. The thing is I'm not jealous of his relationship at all and like his fiancee - she seems really nice from the few times that we've met. He's told me a lot of details of their relationship, both the good and bad, which I try to take in stride and not reflect on.

 

The thing is - I REALLY try to not have feelings for him. More than anything because I admire him as a professional more than I admire him on a personal level, and of course the age difference is enough to make me hesitant even if he was single. To keep myself from falling even more for him, I put in my two weeks notice and decided to move away. When I first told him of my intentions he said he was okay with my decision, but then over the last two weeks has tried many, many times to get me to stay and pulling on my heartstrings to the point I was in tears. My last day working with him was a week ago, and on my last day he said nothing to me until it was time to say goodbye, wherein he literally fell back in his chair with tears in his eyes and asked me one last time if I was sure I couldn't stay. His words exact were, "Please, (name), just don't leave me." I wanted right then to tell him that I was leaving because I was in love with him, but I didn't...and although I was crying too I told him I had to move on.

 

The problem was that I could not leave town like I wanted to. I purposefully missed my flight and canceled my car shipment order, missing out of about $500. I packed up my car to drive to my destination, but only made it an hour away before turning around and booking a week at a hotel nearby. I thought about texting him and pulled up his texts, only to see that he was preparing to text me. He only asked if I had made it to the city I told him I was moving to, to which I replied I only made it an hour before turning around. A few hours went by and he asked me to meet him for coffee. I told him maybe later in the week.

 

I know this is wrong, and normally I would scoff at any woman that is in the same predicament that I am in. The thing is I have tried to do literally everything in my power to convince myself I have no feelings, but I know deep down that I do. I also really can't fathom a grown man, who is by nature very stern and cold not only crying but letting me see him cry just because I wanted to move away - if he did not have feelings for me too.

 

Can anyone please talk some sense into me? Tell me that I'm crazy, and that I'm not really in love and that I need to just pack my bags and forget all about him...please, help me.

[Diezel]

This guy sounds like a sleazeball.

 

Imagine if you were his fiancee.

[smackie9]

This guy is just emotionally attached to you and infatuated. It he was truly in love with you, he would have ended things with his GF and not have bothered to get engaged. All you are to him is his little fantasy, and by keeping you there is robbing you of actually finding someone for yourself. Get another plane ticket, and commit to leaving. This is your best chance at getting what you want in life by getting away from his false intentions, and have a fresh start. Now get out of there and move on!

[ExpatInItaly]

Ok, you're crazy. He's a horrible fiance and you're playing with fire. Remember that when he's texting you, he's nailing her at night. Not you. He is going home to her. Not you. So really, you're playing second fiddle and you're not his priority. Doesn't matter if he has some feelings. They're apparently not enough to initiate anything with you.

[No Limit]

Why not look for older guys who are actually interested in something serious, not the sort that gets attached to every female he meets because he's getting cold feet before marriage?