Lovebite Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I am DONE with this jackass. I am not in a relationship with him. I never was either, he was always just a distant friend, nothing more. He comes over my house because he wanted to show off his car to my dad because him and my dad are kinda close and he knows my dad loves cars. So...I go with them to take the car for a spin, and he talks about this guy Nick a lot (because he works with him) I also know Nick and like him a lot, and I jokingly said "Uh..Nick! He's the forbidden fruit!" He said "The FORBIDDEN WHAT?!?!?" "What does that even mean?" Then he said right in front of my dad, "DO YOU WANT TO **** HIM?" I was so shocked he said that. I said "NO! Why would you say that? He's married!" My dad didn't say anything which I am pissed about, but why would he say that? Is it jealousy? What does it sound like to you? Because I am shocked he would say that in front of my dad!! He had a pretty strong reaction all because I said "Nick is the forbidden fruit", tell me what it sounds like to you? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I am DONE with this jackass. I am not in a relationship with him. I never was either, he was always just a distant friend, nothing more. He comes over my house because he wanted to show off his car to my dad because him and my dad are kinda close and he knows my dad loves cars. So...I go with them to take the car for a spin, and he talks about this guy Nick a lot (because he works with him) I also know Nick and like him a lot, and I jokingly said "Uh..Nick! He's the forbidden fruit!" He said "The FORBIDDEN WHAT?!?!?" "What does that even mean?" Then he said right in front of my dad, "DO YOU WANT TO **** HIM?" I was so shocked he said that. I said "NO! Why would you say that? He's married!" My dad didn't say anything which I am pissed about, but why would he say that? Is it jealousy? What does it sound like to you? Because I am shocked he would say that in front of my dad!! He had a pretty strong reaction all because I said "Nick is the forbidden fruit", tell me what it sounds like to you? Thanks. He probably said that out of anger/jealousy. That's what it sounds like to me anyways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 He's using your dad's interest in cars hoping to get you. Your dad should have told him it was time to leave when he said that. I think you should talk to your dad about him. I think you should tell him that you don't like him and that you feel like he's keeping an eye on you and using his visits to him to try to keep in contact with you. Tell him you were very insulted by his comment and ask your dad to not bring him around you. Any dad worth his salt would run him off if you told him that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't know how that read as jealousy. To say "forbidden fruit" is to mean something that is even more desired because it is not allowed. The guy is married. Your friend probably thought you were desiring Nick when you labeled Nick "forbidden fruit" and asked if you wanted to bang him. I've said that exact same thing to a friend once. Reaction stemming from the guy being married and my gf labeling him forbidden fruit (wondering if there was possible desire/attraction on her part). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 The minute you called Nick "forbidden fruit" YOU made it clear that you had some interest in Nick. Your friend's choice of words in front of your dad was inappropriate but I think his sentiment was spot on. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 The minute you called Nick "forbidden fruit" YOU made it clear that you had some interest in Nick. Your friend's choice of words in front of your dad was inappropriate but I think his sentiment was spot on. I agree. It wasn't appropriate for him to say such things in front of your dad,but at the same time, it's a bit odd of you to call this person a forbidden fruit. Do you like Nick, or this other guy? Anyone who would say such a vulgar thing in front of your parents isn't worth hanging out with again, by the way. Poor boundaries and lack of respect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovebite Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 He's using your dad's interest in cars hoping to get you. Your dad should have told him it was time to leave when he said that. I think you should talk to your dad about him. I think you should tell him that you don't like him and that you feel like he's keeping an eye on you and using his visits to him to try to keep in contact with you. Tell him you were very insulted by his comment and ask your dad to not bring him around you. Any dad worth his salt would run him off if you told him that. Thanks prepraph. I told my dad about it, and my dad said he "wasn't paying attention" My dad is an oblivious person, yeah, but I think my dad is trying to make up excuses for himself, because he's playing the "I didn't pay attention" card. But he said he feels sorry that I feel that way *rollseyes* I don't think my dad thinks it's really that bad, but to me it was disrespectful and weird to say that in front of my dad. It would be bad enough if he said this with just me and him in the car, but at least it wouldn't be as bad, but he said it in front of my dad! To me that is just wrong! Thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovebite Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't know how that read as jealousy. To say "forbidden fruit" is to mean something that is even more desired because it is not allowed. The guy is married. Your friend probably thought you were desiring Nick when you labeled Nick "forbidden fruit" and asked if you wanted to bang him. I've said that exact same thing to a friend once. Reaction stemming from the guy being married and my gf labeling him forbidden fruit (wondering if there was possible desire/attraction on her part). Well it would be one thing if it was just me and him in the car, but it's disrespectful and wrong to say "DO YOU WANNA F*** HIM?" in front of my father. It made the situation weird and awkward. Also he had a strong angry reaction, which was strange to me. I do desire Nick, but like I said he's "forbidden fruit" lol, I can't do anything with him or go for him, because he's married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovebite Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I agree. It wasn't appropriate for him to say such things in front of your dad,but at the same time, it's a bit odd of you to call this person a forbidden fruit. Do you like Nick, or this other guy? Anyone who would say such a vulgar thing in front of your parents isn't worth hanging out with again, by the way. Poor boundaries and lack of respect. How is it "odd" that I called Nick "forbidden fruit"? It was a joke! And he is lol. Because he's married, and I can't do anything or go further with him. I like Nick, and I had somewhat of a liking towards the other guy, but he's a bit strange and disrespectful so I really don't like him. I just don't know why he had sucha strong, angry reaction? Really was odd to me. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Well it would be one thing if it was just me and him in the car, but it's disrespectful and wrong to say "DO YOU WANNA F*** HIM?" in front of my father. It made the situation weird and awkward. Also he had a strong angry reaction, which was strange to me. I do desire Nick, but like I said he's "forbidden fruit" lol, I can't do anything with him or go for him, because he's married. He probably couldn't help himself since it bothered him so much because he'd want to be more than just friends with you. And it's likely annoying him that you pretty much implied that you'd go out with this other guy if he wasn't married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovebite Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 He probably couldn't help himself since it bothered him so much because he'd want to be more than just friends with you. And it's likely annoying him that you pretty much implied that you'd go out with this other guy if he wasn't married. Yeah, maybe. It's most likely that. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Thanks prepraph. I told my dad about it, and my dad said he "wasn't paying attention" My dad is an oblivious person, yeah, but I think my dad is trying to make up excuses for himself, because he's playing the "I didn't pay attention" card. But he said he feels sorry that I feel that way *rollseyes* I don't think my dad thinks it's really that bad, but to me it was disrespectful and weird to say that in front of my dad. It would be bad enough if he said this with just me and him in the car, but at least it wouldn't be as bad, but he said it in front of my dad! To me that is just wrong! Thanks for the advice. Okay. Your dad is a hard nut to crack, but if he has a male bone in his body, you got o him and tell him you're creeped out by this guy and it's starting to scare you, he will react. If he doesn't, hell, go to your mom. She'll sort that dink out in no time and your dad as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Well it would be one thing if it was just me and him in the car, but it's disrespectful and wrong to say "DO YOU WANNA F*** HIM?" in front of my father. It made the situation weird and awkward. Also he had a strong angry reaction, which was strange to me. I do desire Nick, but like I said he's "forbidden fruit" lol, I can't do anything with him or go for him, because he's married. You asked if your friend said it out of jealousy. I was noting that I didn't see his reaction as jealousy. It is a given that it was inappropriate to speak that way infront of your father. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 First off if it were me, I take this guy aside and would have tore a strip off him. His behavior was rude and disrespectful. I have a feeling he set you up, or was testing you. This guy has to go. Go no contact. At work just be professional but never interact with him unless you have to. Next time don't be hopping into the car for a spin or whatever thing he has going on.....keep your distance! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 It almost sounds like your hoping it was a jealous reaction and for us to confirm this to you? don't know why if your genuinely not interested in Mr charming.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 It almost sounds like your hoping it was a jealous reaction and for us to confirm this to you? don't know why if your genuinely not interested in Mr charming.. Also this. A lot of people come here seeking confirmation of what they hope is true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovebite Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 So, you know this guy was interested in you, and you say you were somewhat interested in him. In this case, why would you tell him (basically) that you want to bang his married friend? THAT is disrespectful. Sure, his response was inappropriate, but when you treat people like you did him, you can't expect him to be happy about it. How did I tell him I was interested in HIM? I said I was interested in Nick. I don't think he really likes me, I think he's strange to be honest. First off if it were me, I take this guy aside and would have tore a strip off him. His behavior was rude and disrespectful. I have a feeling he set you up, or was testing you. This guy has to go. Go no contact. At work just be professional but never interact with him unless you have to. Next time don't be hopping into the car for a spin or whatever thing he has going on.....keep your distance! Yes! I agree. What do you mean he "set me up" or was "testing" me? What would that do and prove? Just wondering. Thanks. It almost sounds like your hoping it was a jealous reaction and for us to confirm this to you? don't know why if your genuinely not interested in Mr charming.. I am not looking for validation. WTF? I am asking why a person would do that. Just wanted to see what people would say. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) First off if it were me, I take this guy aside and would have tore a strip off him. His behavior was rude and disrespectful. I have a feeling he set you up, or was testing you. This guy has to go. Go no contact. At work just be professional but never interact with him unless you have to. Next time don't be hopping into the car for a spin or whatever thing he has going on.....keep your distance! He has to go why..for saying what everyone already was thinking? Calling the guy a "forbidden fruit" means the OP wanted to f*ck him. I'm sorry, she shouldn't of made the comment about a married man like that in front of her father anyways. That is kind of telling. The girl essentially says "I want to totally f*ck that married guy" and she thinks her other friend merely saying that, but in a less subtle way is the thing that would disturb her father? How about his daughter opening talking about how she wants a married man? Anyways, this guy is some distant friend so who cares? She doesn't want to be his friend anymore fine, but the OP seems to be way too fired up about this. Edited October 12, 2014 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovebite Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 He has to go why..for saying what everyone already was thinking? Calling the guy a "forbidden fruit" means the OP wanted to f*ck him. I'm sorry, she shouldn't of made the comment about a married man like that in front of her father anyways. That is kind of telling. The girl essentially says "I want to totally f*ck that married guy" and she thinks her other friend merely saying that, but in a less subtle way is the thing that would disturb her father? How about his daughter opening talking about how she wants a married man? Ok, I didn't look that deep into that "forbidden fruit" expression. I was joking. It wasn't inappropriate. It was all kidding around. Him just saying that flat out in front of my dad is disrespectful and inappropriate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) Ok, I didn't look that deep into that "forbidden fruit" expression. I was joking. It wasn't inappropriate. It was all kidding around. Him just saying that flat out in front of my dad is disrespectful and inappropriate. You have to admit how this kind of looks though, right? So, it is okay for you to apparently "joke" about how you want to get with a married man, and that is not inappropriate and just a joke..but his saying that in front of your dad is disrespectful and not appropriate? Maybe the line of what was or was not appropriate began to get blurry once he saw you making comments like that in front of your dad? Maybe he was jokingly trying to embarrass you in front of your father? I don't know, but the point is you essentially did make a comment that makes it seem like you want to f*ck Nick. You can at least acknowledge how one could interpret your comment as that, yes? Yes, what he said to you was more vulgar, but it already sounded like you had more or less yourself already implied you wanted to sleep with this guy. To be quite honest, if I had a daughter and she more or less made a comment about wanting to get with a married man I'd feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Especially since, even though I was not there..the way you told the story, makes it sound like you were joking, but not joking. Like you were saying it as an attempt at humor, but it doesn't mean you don't also actually consider him "forbidden fruit". Edited October 12, 2014 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Ok, I didn't look that deep into that "forbidden fruit" expression. I was joking. It wasn't inappropriate. It was all kidding around. Him just saying that flat out in front of my dad is disrespectful and inappropriate. So what? You had an awkward moment. Who cares? It almost sounds like this guy had a genuine reaction to what you said so just screw him instead of playing games. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I don't like situations like these, because it's all about the context at that point in time. If the dad didn't react, then whatever was said was probably not as extreme as the OP is making it sound. I'd stay neutral about this just because it's a confined space and I think the OP is overreacting. I think there is more to this story than we are being told... or maybe less. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 So what? You had an awkward moment. Who cares? It almost sounds like this guy had a genuine reaction to what you said so just screw him instead of playing games. Or yeah, this..he could of just been surprised to hear her talking about boinking other dudes and reacted without thinking. I wouldn't say "screw him" though, this is not an unforgivable offense if the guy is a genuine friend of hers, but it doesn't sound like they were ever good friends to begin with. Unless by "screw him" you meant literally have sex with him. Which..might not be a bad idea, me thinks the OP doth protest a little too much maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Ok, I didn't look that deep into that "forbidden fruit" expression. I was joking. It wasn't inappropriate. It was all kidding around. Him just saying that flat out in front of my dad is disrespectful and inappropriate. Don't worry I'm on your side. There was nothing inappropriate or "immoral" about your comment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Or yeah, this..he could of just been surprised to hear her talking about boinking other dudes and reacted without thinking. I wouldn't say "screw him" though, this is not an unforgivable offense if the guy is a genuine friend of hers, but it doesn't sound like they were ever good friends to begin with. Unless by "screw him" you meant literally have sex with him. Which..might not be a bad idea, me thinks the OP doth protest a little too much maybe? Yeah, I meant OP starts a thread on LS about a guy she's 'annoyed' at so I assume there's mutual attraction. If so then she should quit her bitching and just sleep with the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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