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Why do cops cheat?


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Old 15th September 2004, 11:57 PM   #1
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Question Why do cops cheat?

I've been married to a cop for 13 years and recently found out about an affair he had seven years ago. When I started to really look at the situation, I was startled to realize that ALL (one hundred percent, every single one) of his friends, who are also cops, have cheated on or are cheating on their spouse. Most of his co-workers are devorced due to extra-marital affiars. Several female officers are known to have slept with multiple married male officers.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE DEAL IS?

I'm a software analyst and I work in an office environment. People very occasionally have affairs within the office, but it's nothing like what happens between police officers.

Theory one - males with greater testosterone levels are drawn to this career, and are therefore more likely to cheat due to their hormones. Sounds stupid.

Theory two - the adrenaline rush of the job has an influence on their sex drive, or makes them feel invincilbe? Also sounds stupid.

Theory three - police stress is so great that they need an outlet.

Any other theories out there? I'd love to hear from other cops...
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Old 16th September 2004, 12:05 AM   #2
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I don't think it has to do with what he does for a living at all! He cheats because that's the type of person he is. A cheater! Whether he's a cop or not has nothing to do with why he cheats or why he does not cheat.
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Old 16th September 2004, 12:06 AM   #3
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I replied to your other post.

Infidelity in the profession of police happens for a lot of reasons~

1) Bonds are formed that are close, it is the other men/women on the force who have each others back when
or if something happens.

2) Police officers often feel the only people who understand thier stress level or what they are going through
is another officer. So they begin to confide in one another.

3) Opportunity. They are on call, some work nights... excuses to sneak out are easily found and no one
questions it, because after all they are "Just doing thier job" Opportunity to cheat and not get caught
can be tempting to even the most honest committed person.

This affair wasn't about you. I know that is hard to take.... but this was about your husband and his issues.
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Old 16th September 2004, 1:07 AM   #4
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It has nothing to do with you personally or with his job. Your husband was seduced by an attractive female fellow. You said you were not really close at the time. He was seeking an outlet for his stress. You were beating yourself up for sometning did happen seven years ago when you were not so close. If you will continue to think like that you will either get even with him by doing to him what he did to you or you may break up. You need to make up your mind as to what direction you want to take ( forgive, get even with or leave him). You can't live with this for the rest of your life my friend. Life is one and too short may be.
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Old 16th September 2004, 10:04 AM   #5
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I've heard this stereotype too. I personally think it's a power thing. The ones in my neck of the woods are known for being cheaters.
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Old 16th September 2004, 10:29 AM   #6
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I don't think it's a "cop" thing. But I do think that police officers as well as military have an advantage because of the hours spent away from home and how easy it is for them to get away with it without the spouse finding out. I know many other jobs are like this as well, but it seems to be higher in these professions.

You can't define a person or their behaviors according to their employment titles. However you can say that some employment opportunities have advantages for cheaters.
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Old 17th September 2004, 6:11 PM   #7
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Some cops cheat, some cops don't, just like people in other occupations. I don't think it has much to do with his job, just the kind of person he and his friends are.
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Old 19th September 2004, 9:51 PM   #8
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I was married to a cop - a narcotics detective. His entire squad cheated on their wives because my husband told me about it. My husband bragged about how all cops have girlfriends - the nickname for these women are "Chips". Most of the guys in his squad have been married and divorced several times.

When my exhusband and I got married I was his 3rd marriage. It lasted 2 years. He was abusive to me too - which is another problem cops have (beating their wives or girlfriends).

My husband swore he'd never cheat on me but felt constantly threatened that I'd cheat on him. He put tracking devices on my car - checked my computer, had me followed, etc. I divorced him because I felt controlled and smothered. I figured if he was so obsessed with whether or not I was cheating on him (I wasn't) then he himself would eventually cheat on me.

I found out after I divorced him that he was keeping in contact with his exwife and was seeing old girlfriends (meeting them for lunch).

ALL cops cheat - 90 percent do and the other 10 percent lie about it.
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Old 20th September 2004, 11:47 PM   #9
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I think...

I think Merin hit the nail on the head when Merin said that the Cops share a close ***bonding*** that civilians might not understand.

I am not condoning their behavior because A cheater is a Cheater ....no matter what....
but this might best explain the rampant screwiing around because they relate to eachother given the dangerous high stress and common bond they hold...for eachother...
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