Novia Phomega Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I've been with this guy 2 years. For the first year, he was sweet and nice, but now he shows me what he really is. He calls me names like bitch, ****ing bitch, idiot, and stupid, every time he gets mad and jealous. 2 weeks ago, he read my mails with my friend. I swear I never cheated on him like what he's afraid of. I was close to totally leaving him, but he was down on knees, begging me to stay. I told him like "if u don't change, ur apology won't mean anything." He promised me to change. The same thing happened too last year. He called me names, but held my hands to stay. He did promise me to change, he did, but things came back like they used to be. He always says like "I love u. I don't love u for leaving u oneday." is it true that he really loves me? Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) Yes...The obvious answer here is yes you should leave him. He does NOT love you. He is using the word ''love'' to mind pfhuck you. You think that someone who treats you like that could possibly have any shred of love for you? If so, you need to seriously work on your self esteem. He disrespects you by calling you things like bitch, idiot and stupid and he further disrespects you by invading your privacy for unwarranted reasons. Frankly I am surprised you last two years with him. Please don't be so naive as to fall for his begging and empty promises to change. Guy's like him very very rarely ever change. He's a class A manipulator who resorts to making the women he dates take pity on him when they threaten to leave. He's using you, and he's verbally abusing you. What more do you need to take a stand for yourself? If I were in your shoe's I would have walked a LONG time ago. But trust me when I say, he will never change...I know this without even meeting the guy...Types like him are way to easy to spot. Edited October 3, 2013 by MercuryMorrison1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) Total nonsense behavior from him! Once they loose it you should GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE! First you already allowing him to continue to VERBAL ABUSE YOU! No one should go through this and continue to allow it! Stop allowing it! He not being honest with you. You can see this is a negative relationship and not the first or last time he's doing it. He knows how to push your buttons and also knows how far you will allow it also. Getting on ones knees and begging you to take him back is the lowest point for anyone to do but they have no choice left. Your intent was to forgive him, but yet he still does the abusive behavior again and again!. You must thing of THE NOW! Get your head on straight and put your life back into your hands! Get a positive grip on yourself. Pull in your gut and tell this guy enough is enough of this nonsense I am leaving you!. Also NC (no contact) must be use too. So this is the advise from experience I too had this happen, but once they do verbal abuse they will never respect you again and they're behavior and intent will be negative towards to also. People like this can't change and won't change. The trust is gone on both sides of the fence also. Pull out now! Edited October 3, 2013 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Because he uses that language doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you, but it is really inappropriate. He probably grew up in a home where that was tolerated. But as you pointed out, he'll change for a while, then it comes back. Can't change a tigers stripes. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 You know before long he will be hitting you and then be on his knees saying sorry and begging your forgiveness. Then it'll be burning you with the iron and begging forgiveness. Then chopping off you fingers and begging forgiveness. How much abuse are you going to tolerate before realizing what he is? AN ABUSER. Get out now while it's easy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 You gave him a chance to change. But he didn't. So you saying ok I give you another chance, is just going to validate his negative behavior towards you. For your own good, get out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
93TheHitStick Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Honestly just leave him. He isn't ready to have a relationship. I used to call my ex names just like that. Yell at her. And then when she threatened to leave i would beg her to stay with me. Then she would come back. Then i would do it again. And she would threaten to leave. Eventually it ruined our relationship and our friendship. And it changed her a lot. I'm sure she hates me. But it took her leaving me for me to reflect. And realize how wrong i was to talk to her like that and how i really did hurt and manipulate her. He doesn't sound ready for love. And he really has to get ready by himself. If i were you i wouldn't stay in that relationship. Either you are going to take that abuse till you get so fed up you break down and leave him because you see no other option. Or you are going to stay with him forever and be his battering stick. Even if he is only battering you with his words its still not right. Dump him and tell him exactly why. It will hurt both of you. But you will both be happier in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
a0009 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I agree with what everybody is saying. He should not be calling you names and should trust you. In my opinion is that he loves you and there is a problem with him thats why he calls you names when mad or jelous. Let him know that if he calls you names you will leave him, and if he does call you names dump him and give him NC to teach him a lesson Link to post Share on other sites
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