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Did she cheat?


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Hey,

 

Over a year or so I have been having really bad gut feelings that events that took place a year ago. At the time my girlfriend of 3 years was working at a fast food joint. At the time we had been living together for about 2 years. Our relationship was very exclusive and we had both been talking about marriage, kids (In the future) ect... I was 23 and she was 20.

 

One day around 4pm my girlfriend came home from work, My girlfriend and I left the house to enter the vehicle in the driveway. She immediately came confused that a name tag was on top of her vehicle on the driver side. She grabbed it entered the vehicle and I asked what was it, she said a name tag, I said can I see it. I looked at it and it said "Craig". For a few minutes I thought nothing of it because it made no sense to me. At dinner it then really hit me how weird the situation was. Since then I've always felt kind of sick thinking about it. I asked her about it and she said she had no idea. This caused quite a deal of problems within our lives, we've fought over it, she balled her eyes out when I asked her if she was cheating. She quit her job there about 2 weeks later. I ended up showing up at work one night and they seemed to be on friendly terms. The guy seemed weird I remember him grabbing my girlfriends elbow sawing I got your weenis. As both of us walked out of her workplace he kind of shouted to me your dating "HER?" it seemed in a way like she's stupid why are you dating her. She immediately shouted shutup "Craig!"

 

What I don't understand is why she herself never found out why that name tag was on her car. I made it very clear to her to find out why that name tag was on top of the car. Till this day she said she gave it to her manager, Craig got mad at her because the manager got mad at Craig for loosing his name tag. She said she asked him why but he was kinda like I don't know and just brushed her off. Over the last 16 months or so her story has been extremely consistent.

 

My feelings become very negative after I had found out my girlfriend hung onto an online relationship with a guy about 2 months into our relationship this guys name was "Mario". I found out about this by chat logs. I asked her who "Mario" was and she denied till the very end of providing proof of the chat logs what went on. It basically told me she can lie about things till the very end.

 

Things seemed to have been going good as we recently moved into a place we both really loved and she specifically chose. The only bad feelings going around at the time was that during dinner one night I said hey I took grade 12 twice because of the bad decisions I made early in highschool. Now I am successful and earn quite a bit. She almost had a meltdown at the restaurant and basically said I broke her heart. The day after everything was perfectly fine though and she essentially said she over reacted. The events that took place were about 1-2 months after this.

 

I have this really "depressed" feeling lately inside of myself. A lot has gone on in my life, battling feels about my brother who came out with a cocaine addiction, some financial "issues", been making huge efforts to get myself out more, joining sports to meet more people, my girlfriends father had an accident and passed away 4 months ago. I feel like I have a lot of negative feelings in me lately and I sometimes wonder if I'm channeling this against the events that took place a year ago.

 

I've talked to my brother about this once, that's the only person I've gone to about it. At first he was confused but sort of blurted out oh so she took it out of her car and put it on top and forgot about it. Then he strongly turned it into well I wouldn't worry about it you'll learn to trust people. There is so many different possibilities of that name tag getting there.

 

Since then I've picked on things that have me worried like the way she interacts with the opposite sex, I remember once at a party she got really chatty with this one guy and did all the classic "flirting" signs like, constantly bringing hair behind ear, batting eye lashes ect... This was with a guy she had thought liked her since the starting of her class. This was right in front of me too and I felt like it was a huge diss.

Edited by Throwaway43
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Very odd indeed.....

 

I think the Craig thing is a red flag and also the online thing as well certainly not concrete evidence of cheating but especially the name tag thing and her response would have me on Red alert.

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BreatheForABit
I asked her who "Mario" was and she denied till the very end of providing proof of the chat logs what went on. It basically told me she can lie about things till the very end.

 

This means that she is untrustworthy. I've noticed that most women out there have this ability. They say "I would never do that to you" and deny, deny, deny, until evidence is produced that shows they are lying.

 

Even with good evidence, a woman will still deny, it's called The Shaggy Defense.

 

Now that you know her character, I think it will be very difficult for you to trust her again, if ever.

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This is very difficult because nothing is certain. Why would there be a name tag on her car roof sitting on our driveway even if something was going on between them two. It almost seems just as impossible.

 

On one hand I have the situation of getting out of a relationship because of these feelings I have about this. I feel like even if something did happen she wouldn't tell me because I've been told that's how women are.

 

On the other hand I have completely throwing away a very strong loving relationship. What if nothing ever happened, why would I throw that away.

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This is very difficult because nothing is certain. Why would there be a name tag on her car roof sitting on our driveway even if something was going on between them two. It almost seems just as impossible.

 

On one hand I have the situation of getting out of a relationship because of these feelings I have about this. I feel like even if something did happen she wouldn't tell me because I've been told that's how women are.

 

On the other hand I have completely throwing away a very strong loving relationship. What if nothing ever happened, why would I throw that away.

 

Throwaway,

 

I have read your first post over and over and I have to ask about this name tag.....

 

Can you remember how much time elapsed between the time she came home and you two re-emerged from your dwelling to find the name tag?

 

The reason I ask is that there are a couple of different possibilities....did that Craig guy know where you lived and had she ever previously talked about him at all concerning work? There is just something weird to this...one one hand you could conclude the guy was stalking her... but on the other hand you could reach a conclusion that she had him in her car at some point that day or even in close proximity to your driveway...stranger things have happened and the way you describe how he acted when you went to her work suggest that they may have been on more familiar terms than you know of.

 

I don't want to be a conspiracy theorist here but I guess if you can answer that question we could possibly give you better advice. On the surface it would seem insignificant but again the weirdness factor of that incident I really cannot make heads or tails of.

Edited by Space Ritual
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I would say about 20-30min passed. This whole thing is just...really confusing. Every single way I look at it. It doesn't make sense. I don't see how he could know where we lived. Sometimes I think the best explanation for this is just a really odd situation where his name tag got in her stuff. Things like that could happen and somehow it ended up on the roof of the car. This is so weird because like I said before, even if something was going on, there is no reason for that name tag to be on the roof of her car. Her behavior wasn't in the slightest bit suspicious no phone calls, no being later from work (only by a dozen minutes or so sometimes but I think that's just normal), no emotional distance, no arguments. Also at the time this happened she had just started her period.

 

Sometimes I wonder if this is just one of those things in life that can't be explained.

 

Also her friends and family know about this event how it went on, my concerns ect... Like she's fully aware how weird it is, and is equally confused by this situation and she's came back to me saying yeah my friends think it's weird too. Like I don't see any behavior of her hiding this or keeping it secret. It's an open issue to me, her, her friends, her family. Like she's reached out to her friends and family about it.

 

Outside of this issue we are best friends, she is quite respectful of us and talks constantly about moving forward, engagement, wedding, kids. We spend at least 3 hours a day in each others company. I remember seeing one message in her phone like 3 months after this happened when she was talking to her single friend that was venting to her about being single, how hard it is finding someone ect.. My girlfriend basically said. I wouldn't know I've been out of the game for 4 years. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be single but then I remember "My name" is my best friend.

 

Absolutely nothing has gone on since our relationship started that was suspicious. No text messages, no social media problems, no weird phone calls, no odd behavior. Our relationship was quite happy and health, her moving in kind of just happened, felt very natural. She doesn't have male friends, her girlfriends constantly say things like you guys should get married or when are you two getting married.

 

There is absolutely nothing outside this event that I could say, you know what something is going on behind my back. I've been on those relationships before and she's not showing signs of any of it.

Edited by Throwaway43
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CrystalCastles

This story seems really weird.

 

If the nametag was on top of the car, wouldn't it fly off while gf was driving? Craig might have put the nametag on top of the car as he was getting out, but that would imply that gf was driving Craig to her house, in which case the OP would know about it.

 

I'm betting that Craig drove to gf's house, put the nametag there on top of the car. Maybe he has a thing for gf and wants to break gf away from the OP. It sounds crazy.

 

And why would Craig get mad at gf when she brought him the nametag back? It's not like she stole it...

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He got mad because the manager got mad at him for "loosing it" and wished my girlfriend gave it to him himself apparently. So that he wouldn't get in trouble.

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The thing with the tag.....

 

It is almost like this Craig guy left a memento.....

 

Like He WANTED to cause as much drama as possible. Again there are wing nuts everywhere in the world but it would either take a physical act of him removing the tag and putting it on the top of your car, or it coming off of his shirt while it was being removed in the midst of some nefarious act between the two (i.e. it came off while he was either taking his clothes off or putting them back on in her car, it slipped off and he decided to give you a cruel hint.

 

It took me back to the Cheaters Episode I saw about 5 years ago where the businessman's fiance was screwing around with his employee in the back of the store and he marked his territory by taking a piss in the coffee pot and watching the dude drink it, snickering the whole time after getting a BJ off his fiance just moments before he walked into the store.

 

At any rate, SOMEONE is feeding you a line of crap.

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Oh yes, but what I meant by the analogy is that the absurdity of that show is almost as absurd as the crap sandwich somebody is force feeding you. I still believe somebody in this whole thing is omitting information about what transpired.

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She didn't hide the name tag or keep it secret though. She uttered to her self when she first found it, about 5 seconds before I was even in sight. I remember her just kind of standing there like what is this. Then handed it to me.

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she is not "wife" material.

 

she's just an immature girlfriend. Don't marry her... it will suck for both of you. You've already banged her... now move on.

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You are obviously very possessive and you are going to dramatize every little thing she does toward any other male whether she was originally in the wrong or not. You should break up with her because you are never going to be sure if she is or has cheated and that is going to make you and her miserable.

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