xho Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 we were dating for 10 months until everything went downhill. from about the 8-9 month mark her sex drive decreased drastically. we ended up doing it and a few weeks later she missed her period and got pregnant. i was with her when she took the test and once we found out she was pregnant the first thing on my mind was we havent been having sex. i asked if she had had sex with anyone else. she got emotional and flipped that i'd even say that. we're about to be together for 15 months btw. we couldnt keep the baby for financial reasons annd had an abortion. from this time on she pushed me away and wanted time to herself. i gave her all the time, but i guess the emotions that came with the abortion caused this feeling. fast forward to end of April, an ex fling (nvr dated) called me so i returned the call not knowing whos # it was. once i found out i hung up and carried on. to avoid complications i deleted the call log and acted like nothing happened. She found out about this around the end of June and from this day brings this up. at first i denied speaking to her, but she was in my call log online from my bill and saw it and matched it up somehow to her. when i came clean i tried so hard to tell her it wasnt anything and i had no bad intentions. after numerous attempts, she didnt want anything to do with me. i kept trying to explain. she throw the nastiest words at me comparing me to her cheating ex bf who abused her physically and verbally. i didn't cheat nor did i have intentions of doing so. it been about 6 weeks i say and when we fight she'll say she doesnt trust me bcus i lied and she never expected this and how she is always honest with me and cant believe what i did. when we make up i always bring up saying that u gotta trust me and she tells me she does. it still is a problem and idk what to do. alot of times when we fight it leads to her saying just forget it and the problem never gets solved. i always give her the benefit of the doubt. i've been trying to deal with this but i dont know if its right for the wrongful blaming over and over. im always the first to say sorry and ready to end the fight. she lets her pride get in her way. i've been thinking maybe she cheated or maybe her past is interfering with us. it could be good for a few hours and then just go sour so quickly. i love her and would fight to make this work till the end. i just need some help. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Classic cheater response to deflect the spot light from her on to you and accuse you of cheating. Dump her. Your gut was right. It was not you kid and she had you pay to kill her child. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 i was with her when she took the test and once we found out she was pregnant the first thing on my mind was we havent been having sex. i asked if she had had sex with anyone else. she got emotional and flipped that i'd even say that. This surprises you? You accused a hormone-laden woman who has just been told the biggest news of her life, of being unfaithful? Way to go. I think you're lucky to get away with just "flipped out". Then you start LYING about contact with an ex. You're surprised at her reaction? What would you do if the situation were reversed? If she deleted a call from her ex, you found out and asked her, and she bare-faced lied to you that it had never happened? I think you would flip out a little, no? You don't trust her. She doesn't trust you. Why are you in a relationship with each other? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sazerac Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Sad to say, but I think this relationship has run its course. It looks like it was bad news from near the start, and from no one person's fault. I appreciate that you feel you love her and you want to make it work, but you have to have something to work with there. You two aren't married, and now there's no baby in the picture. It's up to you, but I'd say move on while you both still can and find someone better suited to you, and with whom you won't make the same mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xho Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 So I left a few details out, after the abortion she wanted to go out with friends to st pattys day. She ended up going to the bar, she told me her friends smoked weed but I took her word that she didnt. About a month later she went to hang with some friends again and ended up smoking which she confessed that evening she did. I don't know what to think bcus when we fight shell always bring up saying I'm a liar and she would never do anything like that to me. I show alot of remourse and am deeply sorry for it but is it right to hold it against me. I never bring up her pass and throw it in her face. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Oh well that changes everything! She smoked weed with her buddies... that means she is deeply in love with you, fully trusts you and wants to stay with you forever. The fact that she lied makes everything you did, perfectly OK. Contrary to popular belief two wrongs do make a right, and if mistrust goes both ways then it effectively cancels itself out. You should maybe make a grand gesture of your love, how about a marriage proposal? Oh wait no, we're on planet Earth!!! Scratch that. Your new info makes sweet FA difference. You don't trust her, she doesn't trust you. Why are you together? Link to post Share on other sites
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